


the heat of ibiza

by johnyongclub



Series: ibiza vacation fic [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Airplane Sex, Alpha/Omega, Anal Fingering, Beach Sex, Blow Jobs, Boypussy, Breeding, Cock Warming, Cunnilingus, Daddy Kink, Deepthroating, First Dates, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Meeting the Parents, Mile High Club, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Overstimulation, Rutting, Semi-Public Sex, Skinny Dipping, Strangers to Lovers, Tattoos, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Fisting, Vaginal Sex, mentioned only - Freeform, pussy slapping, tummy bulge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:20:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 68,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26528875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnyongclub/pseuds/johnyongclub
Summary: His heat isn’t supposed to be here at least until the end of next week and by then he would have been in the comfort of his own home where he could take care of himself instead of here, in a foreign country, alone.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: ibiza vacation fic [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010277
Comments: 200
Kudos: 1171





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> hello this is my first a/b/o fic!! i hope i did okay.
> 
> just a little something i wanna add; in this universe (like many others), omega males have vaginas so that should explain why ty has one and isn't a female!! he will be referred to as he/him.
> 
> other than that, this is originally plotless but ive made it into a chaptered fic with actual plot so enjoy! thanks

No. _No, no, no._

This can’t be happening, Taeyong thinks as he’s hit with another rush of heat through his entire system, the familiar burn searing his skin as he rushes over to the elevator. His heat isn’t supposed to be here at least until the end of next week and by then he would have been in the comfort of his own home where he could take care of himself instead of here, in a foreign country, alone.

When the elevator door opens, Taeyong thinks he could cry from relief. His fingers punch at the button of his floor, heart racing as the elevator brings him up the hotel building. He couldn’t help but curse at his body’s decision to make life absolutely a living hell for him. The initial plan had been to enjoy a nice couple of days of his leave outside of the country, where he could appreciate the sun and the view and relieve himself off the stress of work and life in general.

He had planned very carefully, clearly, and his heat is due earliest next week, which was why he hadn’t bothered checking if he brought his suppressant. Of course he had accidentally left it at home and now the universe is punishing him for being careless. 

As soon as the door opens, Taeyong doesn’t bother checking if he is on the right floor, stepping out and heading straight to where he knows his room is. Instead of panicking when he sees the room door slightly ajar and reprimanding himself for not making sure it’s locked, he feels only relief that he doesn’t need to dig into his bag for the keycard. 

Tossing his bag aside, Taeyong drops himself onto the mattress with a whine and a whimper. His entire body feels like it’s on fire and he’s on the verge of actually crying as he unbuttons his clothes and pushes his pants down until he is bare from head to toe. At least he’s alone and not on some business trip with his colleagues; that would have been a true nightmare.

Almost immediately after he pushes his pants down, he could see the webbed stickiness that is his slick now staining his inner thighs and his pair of jeans. He doesn’t waste time in slipping his hand between his legs, releasing a shuddery breath as his fingers circle around his clit. It isn't enough but Taeyong continues to rub furiously, his slick producing such filthy squelching noise that fills up the room and makes the coiling in his belly tighten all the more. 

Not anywhere close to satisfied, Taeyong opens his eyes and looks around him, in desperate search for his bag where he'd stuffed all his clean toys he'd prepared just in case. But the bag isn't anywhere he could see and Taeyong is growing increasingly frustrated. 

With a whine, he pushes three fingers into himself, lips parting in a gasp at the pleasure of having _something_ inside and with how wet he already is, Taeyong finds no trouble in pushing a fourth digit.

"Fuck," He gasps, pumping his fingers in and out at a rapid and sloppy pace whilst his free hand rubs over his clit. He throws his head back, spine arching off the mattress and with the way he's fucking himself, it doesn't take long for him to reach his first climax.

He cums with a cry, a leg kicking out at the crash of his orgasm and his entire body trembles from the force of his release. For a moment after, Taeyong tries to catch his breathing, still, safe for the way his chest heaves. 

When he comes to about ten minutes later, Taeyong groans, staring up at the ceiling and combing his blonde, matted hair back and off his forehead. He’s sweaty and wet and not the kind that he enjoys all that much. He wants to explore Ibiza and maybe get drunk and swim and _have fun_ but instead he’s bound here in his hotel room, alone to struggle with his early heat.

Reaching for his phone, Taeyong makes a small noise just as he feels the same rush of heat over his body and the unmistakable flow of slick between his legs. He inhales quietly as he sends a quick text to his best friend all the way back home, hoping Doyoung would do something to help him in this state. 

He squeezes his legs and sighs; it’s going to be a long couple of days.

* * *

  
  


He’s in the middle of fucking himself open with three fingers, cheek pressed upon the sheets and ass up in the air, when it happens. 

He misses the first click of the door opening, too preoccupied in reaching his nth orgasm that night. He misses the sound of footsteps approaching but not the whiff of citrusy goodness mixed with a rich mahogany scent and like a moth to a flame, Taeyong is drawn to it. If anything, his heat intensifies and Taeyong could feel himself clench around his own fingers, more slick trailing down the backs of his thighs to stain the sheets.

There’s an alpha in the room, that’s all Taeyong knows. He doesn’t think about _how_ that’s possible or _who_ it could be, just the sole fact that there is an _alpha_ and Taeyong needs a knot more than anything in this moment.

“Excuse me…?” The voice, deep and firm, floats into Taeyong’s consciousness slowly.

It’s enough to have him gasping and then mewling out when the surprise causes him to hiccup and thus have his fingers jabbing right into his sweet spot. His thighs quake and he collapses onto the bed, sweat-laced skin burning with heat as he whines and blindly reaches for the alpha. “Help me… Please.”

Opening his eyes for a better look, Taeyong drinks in the sight of the alpha standing at the foot of the bed, looking genuinely confused but his eyes are dark enough for Taeyong to know his heat is affecting him, as it naturally would. 

“You’ve got to help me, please,” Taeyong says again, letting out a frustrated sob as he desperately rolls his hips for some kind of friction. “Please. It hurts. Please help me.”

The alpha seems to soften up and his movements are awkward and nervous, as if a single step forward would hurt Taeyong. It’s sweet, Taeyong thinks, but he’s suffering and he needs, _needs_ a knot and Taeyong doesn’t care who’s there to help him. 

"Are you- Are you sure?" The alpha asks, "I can help you but I need you to be sure."

Taeyong nods, a hand going between his legs and he spreads them wide apart as he rubs over his wet pussy, so fast the room quickly fills with the squelching sounds of his slick. "Please, I beg you."

It seems the alpha doesn't need any more convincing because then he helps keep Taeyong's legs spread before his mouth descends and his lips wrap around Taeyong's throbbing clit. It brings a sharp gasp right out of Taeyong’s mouth and he moans as the alpha eats him out, wide tongue lapping over his folds and paying the utmost attention to his nub. 

Taeyong doesn’t take long to reach his orgasm yet again, cumming with another cry but with the alpha’s presence, Taeyong doesn’t feel the temporary satisfaction his orgasms would come with but instead the overwhelming need to be filled up and knotted. He whines, reaching out with shaky hands for the alpha.

“Fuck me, please?” He whimpers, pleading with his eyes and his voice, hoping it would show him just how badly he needs the alpha. 

The other male nods, and Taeyong watches as he strips himself off his clothes. First his top, yellow, palms printed shirt buttoned only halfway and then his shorts. It should all happen in a beat of a second but within Taeyong's blissed out state, it looks almost like something out of a movie. 

His painful, overwhelming news returns at another whiff of the alpha's natural scent and the sight of his monstrous cock, standing erect and leaking.

 _"Please, please, please,"_ Taeyong starts to beg, slick flowing freely as he throbs with need. His skin burns, he feels _empty._ He needs to be filled up.

The alpha doesn't waste any time in climbing back into bed and slipping himself between Taeyong's legs, strong arms maneuvering Taeyong onto his front and he's flipped over with a gasp, once again with his cheek pressed and ass up. Only this time, the firm grip over his hips aren't a part of his wild imaginations.

Taeyong releases a sharp cry as the alpha pushes into him, more so out of the relief of finally having something bigger than his fist inside him than anything else. 

"I don't even know your name," The alpha says just as he delivers a particularly hard thrust that sends Taeyong's entire frame shunted forward.

He whimpers, leaking with slick and pussy throbbing with the need for more. "T-Taeyong. I'm Taeyong. Fuck."

"Pretty name," Another thrust, deep and stretching him so deliciously good. "I'm Johnny."

 _Johnny._ Somehow knowing his name makes it all the better and _Johnny_ laughs when he feels Taeyong clench around him. The alpha is kind, or chooses to be, since they are strangers, because then he wastes no time in picking up a steady rhythm of fucking into Taeyong.

"Fuck," Taeyong sobs, his entire thighs now glistening with slick. "So good, alpha. You fuck me so good."

"Mm," Johnny moans and the praise has him picking up his pace and force, cock slamming deep into Taeyong's cunt. "Fuck. You're a good boy, aren't you? Such a pretty omega. Unmarked too. Too good for anyone?"

A whimper leaves Taeyong at the mocking tone Johnny uses and even though they don't know each other, Taeyong _likes_ it. He shakes his head, whining. "No, alpha. Not too good for you. Only you. Please, fuck, feels so fucking good."

It's all Johnny needs to fuck him even harder, tightening his grip around Taeyong’s hips to keep him in place as his own pair snaps forward, ramming his thick cock into Taeyong’s wet opening. The entire room is filled with the filthy sounds of skin smacking against skin and the squelches of Johnny’s cock pounding into Taeyong’s slick heat.

He thinks he could stay like this forever, with the alpha’s cock buried deep within his channel and his strong grip marking reds and blues into his skin. Taeyong recognizes the sense of wanting to be claimed, even in his state of airy lightness, gone beyond pleasure. He’s felt it too many times not to know it and he’s been knotted before to know what it feels like, this longing, this need. It’s just _stronger_ now, with Johnny. It makes Taeyong spiral, pushed once again over the edge.

As he cums again, Johnny doesn’t stop and instead continues to pump into him with a quicker, rougher force. He could feel every inch of the alpha’s thick girth jabbing into his cunt, pressing into the right spots and then, the familiar swell of an alpha’s knot growing, stretching him out.

“Fuck! Knot me, alpha. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Breed me. Knot me, I beg you. Please.” Taeyong sobs shamelessly and he cums yet again when Johnny shoots thick, hot cum into him, locked in a knot.

Taeyong is pretty sure he passed out in the brief moment between feeling Johnny’s knot buried deep inside and now, when things are clearer and he’s hyperaware of the alpha’s weight on top of him. Johnny is careful not to rest his entire weight on the omega but now that Taeyong isn’t driven with desperate need, he feels somewhat stupid and maybe a little awkward.

While it isn’t something weird to be having sex with a stranger willing to help one out through their rut or heat, Taeyong has never done it his entire life. He had always been careful with his heat, making notes on how early it could hit him or how late. Usually he doesn’t even have an alpha to help him out, besides the few times he’s been with a fling through his heat. Even then, they did not mate, despite Taeyong harboring feelings.

It’s not like he could move either, now, laying on his belly while they wait for Johnny’s knot to go down. He contemplates speaking up but he’s exhausted and sore and he wants to sleep. He just doesn’t think it’s wise to do that, despite the fact that he had just let this stranger fuck him stupid.

After a little while, when the alpha’s knot is small enough for him to pull out, Johnny does so quietly. Unprompted, he goes to wet a towel and helps Taeyong clean and even lends him a shirt big enough to cover his body down to his mid-thighs. It’s only when Johnny returns with a cup of hot tea that Taeyong decides to speak.

“How did you get in my room?” He asks, watching the alpha closely.

Johnny lets out a surprised sound and then a laugh, “Your room? Taeyong, this is my room.”

Taeyong frowns, confused to what Johnny means. He looks around the room and it’s only then that he notices that Johnny is right; it isn’t his room. There’s a suitcase in the corner, next to the window and Taeyong remembers having put away his clothes and his own suitcase near the wardrobe. Even his makeup bag isn’t on the vanity, where he knows he’d left it. Heat rushes over his cheeks at the realization that in the midst of his heat-stricken frenzy, Taeyong hadn’t even checked if it was even his room.

“Hey,” Johnny says then, palm squeezing Taeyong’s knee. “It’s okay. I must have not closed the door properly or something when I left to get something to eat downstairs. My mistake. I’m glad it wasn’t someone else trying to steal my things.”

Cheeks still hot with embarrassment, Taeyong smiles at the alpha. “Thank you, for helping me. I didn’t mean to be so careless. My heat was supposed to be next week. And now I’m stuck here until it’s over. There’s no way I could get on a plane in this state.”

“How long does it usually last?” Johnny asks, so casually Taeyong feels like he’s talking to someone he actually knows.

“A week at least? But that’s only when I handle it on my own.” He clears his throat, regretting the choice of words because now it seems as though he’s expecting Johnny to help him again. “I mean, a week, yeah. I should be okay by the end of the week. I should go now, actually. I’ll wash this shirt and give it back by tonight.”

He makes a move to go because he’s embarrassed and he’s scared he’s going into another phase and the most ideal thing to do is _leave_ , even though he would absolutely not mind getting knotted again by Johnny. Before he could go, however, Johnny’s fingers curl gently around his wrist, stopping him in place.

“Who’s going to help you if you go?” Johnny asks, his voice soft. “Did you call someone to help?”

Taeyong thinks of Doyoung, who is probably cursing at him in text and knowing Doyoung, as a beta, could only help him get home. He shakes his head but is quick to add. “But I’m used to it so I’ll be fine.”

“Stay,” Johnny says but in the kind, gentle way that he has been ever since he pulled out earlier. “Let me help, okay? I’ll help you if you let me. You don’t have to be alone.”

How odd, Taeyong thinks as he nods his head with a smile stretched upon his lips. What are the chances that one would be as lucky as he feels now? Maybe he’s feeling sentimental and soft, still buzzing in post orgasm, especially since it hadn’t felt _that_ good in a long, long while. Johnny beams, muttering a little joke that makes Taeyong laugh. Taeyong thinks he looks handsome, handsome than most and that he could definitely, definitely get used to that citrusy scent. 

Something like lemon, something like comfort. And if he was brave, he could even consider it something like home.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there. Right there, Johnny, please,” Taeyong sobs as he drops his forehead onto Johnny’s shoulder, impaled upon his thick, long shaft and held up mid-air, with only his legs wound around the alpha’s strong hips.

It’s been three days since Taeyong’s heat came too early. He’d spent every hour of the last few days in Johnny’s hotel room, waking up in the middle of the night when his body gets too hot and too embarrassed to wake Johnny up. Eventually his whimpers had woken the alpha and they spent hours fucking, Johnny's cock buried deep, deep inside that most often than not, Taeyong falls back asleep with Johnny's knot still inside him.

Now, the sun is slowly rising and they'd spent the last five to six hours together, a few breaks and naps in between. Taeyong hasn't felt this needy in the past, so desperate for cock, not only in his cunt but his mouth and ass too. Johnny had fucked him _everywhere;_ in bed, where he pounded into his wet pussy relentlessly. In the shower, where he fucked Taeyong's throat until he was choking and gasping, crying with need.

He'd fucked Taeyong on the floor too, the omega's legs spread wide and up, ankles nearly locked behind his neck while Johnny rams into his ass. 

It's safe to say he's properly _addicted_ and that even after his heat is over, Taeyong wouldn't be surprised if he agrees to let Johnny have him whenever he wants.

"Fuck, you're still so fucking tight, baby," Johnny moans, hips thrusting up to fuck into Taeyong's slick heat. In the three days they'd spent like this and getting to know each other, Johnny is quick to learn what Taeyong likes and what he doesn't. Being called such only makes Taeyong's pussy throb, whining as he clutches onto the alpha.

A gasp leaves him as Johnny carries him over to the vanity, where he easily places Taeyong down and shifts him onto his front, so he has a clear view of Johnny behind him through the mirror's reflection. He goes through a full-body tremor as soon as Johnny pushes into him and almost immediately picks up the fast pace of thrusting into his walls, his knot already forming and Taeyong meets his gaze in the mirror, lips parted as moans spill past his kiss-swollen mouth.

"Want my knot, baby?" Johnny asks, going at an even faster pace. "You wanna carry my pups, don't you?"

Taeyong whimpers, pleasure intensified at just the idea of it, nevermind the fact that their separation is more than possible. He nods, gripping onto the edge of the vanity as he clenches around the alpha. "Yes. Please. Please, alpha. Breed me. Want you to knot me and make me yours."

Johnny growls, the familiar sound of a possessive male claiming what's his and it pushes Taeyong to moan louder, to urge Johnny to claim him because they don't need math to know that they were meant to meet.

"Mark me, alpha," Taeyong sobs, his own orgasm reaching in an increasingly fast speed and it's the moment Johnny bites into the junction where his shoulder meets his neck and plugs his knot inside him while spilling hot sprays of release that Taeyong cums. 

He shakes, fingers and thighs quaking, held up only by Johnny's bigger frame pressing him against the vanity. Johnny continues to kiss along his neck, over the mark now punctured into his skin and the sight of it makes Taeyong shudder, another fiery trail that kissed his skin.

When he whimpers, leaking all over Johnny's knot, the alpha reaches down and begins rubbing at his clit. Moans and gasps leave him in a shamelessly loud volume and it doesn't take him long to reach yet another climax, one that Johnny laughs at and makes up for by kissing him.

He's still shaking as he kisses Johnny back, moaning into his mouth right before the alpha suggests something that makes Taeyong's knees buckle, just a little bit.

"What do you say we spend another week here in Ibiza?"


	2. two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It probably isn't the wisest thing to do, mating with a stranger he barely knows and had only met three days prior. What other things does Taeyong know about Johnny besides the fact that his full name is John Suh? He knows Johnny is from Chicago, he knows Johnny has three cats back home, ironically.
> 
> He knows Johnny fucks like a machine.
> 
> It really isn't Taeyong's fault that his heat-muddled brain couldn't think of anything else but being marked by Johnny when he's balls deep in his cunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take note of tags!

It probably isn't the wisest thing to do, mating with a stranger he barely knows and had only met three days prior. What other things does Taeyong know about Johnny besides the fact that his full name is John Suh? He knows Johnny is from Chicago, he knows Johnny has three cats back home, ironically.

He knows Johnny fucks like a machine.

It really isn't Taeyong's fault that his heat-muddled brain couldn't think of anything else but being marked by Johnny when he's balls deep in his cunt. 

Like right now, shamelessly ignoring his phone that's been going off in the last ten minutes, in favor of keeping his cheek pressed into the carpeted floor and Johnny's monster cock repeatedly ramming into his wet, sloppy pussy. He's leaking all over his thighs and floor, every thrust Johnny delivers accompanied by the filthy squelching sounds of Taeyong's pussy and the smacking of skin on skin.

He's heady, floaty with the pleasure of being fucked so good that he knows nothing else but cock. It's the last of his heat, obvious in the way he'd stopped waking up in the middle of the night needy for dick and the longest one he's had, probably triggered by the fact that he now has an alpha to breed him and knot him and he couldn't get enough.

Eyes rolled into the back of his skull, Taeyong is no longer coherent, pounded into with a force that sends him into such a state. Johnny is so, so good. Taeyong is intoxicated.

But then Johnny pulls out of him, causing Taeyong to whine and whimper, the emptiness almost physically hurts and he ruts back pathetically, desperate.

"Why?" He whines, a hand reaching down to rub at his clit. "Why did you stop, alpha? I need you, please.. Please put it back in and breed me."

Johnny chuckles, prying Taeyong's hand off his pussy before he uses his thumb to circle at the nub, effectively causing the smaller male to jerk forward, gasping with pleasure. Johnny speaks up, voice hoarse. "Pick up the call."

"W-what?" Taeyong managed to croak out, in disbelief that Johnny would halt their copulation so Taeyong could answer a stupid call. "I don't want to. I want you to fuck me."

He yelps when Johnny lands a sharp smack to his asscheek, pinching at his throbbing, swollen clitoris. "I'm gonna leave you just like this if you don't pick it up."

Taeyong whines, threatened and when Johnny tosses the phone to his side, he reaches for it with shaky fingers. It's Doyoung and Taeyong cusses; he's not about to get into an argument while his pussy is leaking and hungry for cock. Doyoung must be calling to yell at him for letting a stranger fuck _and_ mate him and Taeyong telling him that he's extending his vacation stay night have been the trigger.

He presses the answer button and tries to sound as normal as he could, but his voice still comes off high-pitched. "Hello?"

As soon as he does, he feels Johnny push back into him and Taeyong couldn't help the sharp cry he lets out, thighs quaking, his entire body trembling. Doyoung asks him if he was okay from the other end of the line and Taeyong has to take a moment before he could form a response.

"I'm okay," He says, eyes rolling back as Johnny begins to pound into him. "I just tripped. What do you want?"

Johnny's fingers dig deep into his hips, pressing bruises into his skin that he would marvel at later when he takes a shower, feeling pretty and owned, like the omega he's supposed to be. The thought makes Taeyong smile, forgetting that he's on a call with his best friend, who might still be clueless.

"We need to talk about your decisions, Taeyong," Doyoung is saying, nagging really, into his ear. "I let you go on your own _one_ time and you're already on some guy's dick."

"Alpha," Taeyong moans, in response to the way Johnny is fucking into him with particularly sharp thrusts.

Doyoung thinks Taeyong was simply correcting him. "Whatever. You don't even know this dude. You should have listened and double checked if you brought your suppressants! None of this would have happened. What if something bad had happened, Yongie?"

"Johnny is so good," Taeyong managed, and Johnny rewards him by pressing a thumb into his asshole, cock sloppily fucking his ridiculously wet cunt. "Johnny's good. He takes care of me."

"You don't say," Doyoung snorts, sounding annoyed. "Just- When are you coming home? You can't abandon work and everything here. Is your heat over? What are you doing now?"

Taeyong nearly drops his phone then when Johnny picks up the pace and begin brutally ramming into him and he really couldn't help the series of moans and whimpers that leave him as Johnny's knot grew, catching at his opening every now and then before he buries himself deep into Taeyong's walls, triggering both of their orgasms at the same time.

"Taeyong?" Doyoung prompts.

"I'm- Busy," Taeyong hiccups, shaking as he calms down from his orgasm, still incoherent. "I'm busy, Doie."

Silence. And then Doyoung's breath hitches before he goes; " _Lee Fucking Taeyong!_ "

  
  


* * *

  
  


It's not his _fault_. Taeyong is adamant about this. His heat is officially over and he's had the night to think through everything that's happened with a clearer head. Johnny is sleeping soundly next to him, looking peaceful but worn out and Taeyong feels just a little guilty that he might have been the reason.

He sits up in bed and looks at the clock. It reads nearly three in the morning and he hasn't had much sleep thanks to his heat but his mind is keeping him awake. Doyoung is right to be angry and even though Taeyong knows he couldn't control when his heat would come, he was irresponsible when he didn't make sure to check if he'd brought his suppressants. And he was irresponsible that he hadn't checked if this room was his or a complete stranger's.

He deems himself lucky that Johnny turned out to be kind so far. He's deeply aware that Johnny would have fought his alpha instinct to mark Taeyong had he not _begged_ for it. God, to think about it now… Taeyong feels embarrassed.

Making sure he doesn't make too much noise as he gets off the bed, he looks back to make sure Johnny is still asleep before he gently opens the door to the balcony, stepping out to get some fresh air. 

Ibiza is beautiful, obviously. It's why he'd chosen this place for a very much needed vacation. Work had weighed him down and stressed him out too much and he was going to have to take leave for his heat anyway so the decision to get an extra week off before his heat comes wasn't thought out a long time ago, hence all the mistakes he'd made.

Oddly, Taeyong isn't stressing now, not as much as he's embarrassed anyway. He had gone so pathetically stupid for dick in the last few days, in front of a stranger he just met and now he's burning with the thought that Johnny is going to wake up in the morning with all the memories still intact, which means he would probably remember how nasally high-pitched Taeyong's voice was when he was filled up.

He groans, covering his face before running his fingers through his hair with a sigh, absently letting his digits down the back of his neck until he feels the familiar bumps of teeth marks, a reminder that he's mated and taken. _Mated._

"Can't sleep?" 

Taeyong jumps at the voice, turning his head to find Johnny at the doors of the balcony, wearing only his boxer briefs, muscles bare, his lavender chest tattoo on full display. Taeyong tries not to stare too long, for fear it would ignite another heat period. That would be a problem he can't afford to have, not when he has to go home soon.

He smiles still, finding the sleepy look on Johnny's face rather endearing. "I tried. Something's keeping me up."

"What is?" Johnny asks, stepping closer and encasing Taeyong within his arms, trapping the smaller between his body at the stone railings of the balcony. He kisses into Taeyong's hair.

While the affection is something he's growing used to now after spending the last couple of days with Johnny, now that he isn't in heat, Taeyong feels a little shy, cheeks burning. He shakes his head, looking out at the sea behind the hotel. 

"I don't know," He says, Johnny's arms warm around his frame. "I'm a little embarrassed… And maybe guilty."

Johnny hums, fingers tracing over the mating mark on Taeyong's skin. It sends a shiver down his spine. Johnny whispers his question against the same spot, "What are you embarrassed and guilty about, baby?"

"Well," Taeyong clears his throat, guiding Johnny's arms tighter around himself so he could get rid of the sudden cold that came with the way Johnny kissed him. "Firstly, you've barely known me and you've already had to deal with my heat."

This incites a laugh from Johnny, a staccato sounding one that Taeyong finds completely endearing. "Taeyong, I think you know 'dealing' with your heat wasn't an inconvenience for me."

Heat spreads across Taeyong's cheeks and he quickly adds; "I meant that you had to see me that way! Yes, that's what I meant. It's just embarrassing."

Johnny releases another hum, squeezing him gently. "There's no need to be. You were amazing. You were beautiful. You _are_ beautiful. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. If it's any consolation, it's the best sex I ever had."

This makes Taeyong look up at Johnny, wide eyes and smiling, his blond strands of hair falling over his face. "Really? The best you've had?"

"Mhm," Johnny nods, pressing a kiss onto Taeyong's temple. "You were just amazing. I can't let go of you if I tried. But what are you guilty about, hm?"

Taeyong sighs, "The same reason. And now you're mated to me. We don't even know each other, not well anyway."

"So let's get to know each other," Johnny says without pausing a beat. "I don't regret mating you. Do you regret it?"

"No," Taeyong shakes his head. "No, there's no reason for me to regret it. You've been so good to me."

Johnny smiles as he tightens his arms around Taeyong, burying his face into the crook of his neck. They're silent for a moment and Taeyong closes his eyes as the taller male sways them from side to side, following the breeze. He feels soft and warm on the inside, something he doesn't think he's truly felt before. Clearly he's never been mated before but he'd been in multiple relationships, with people he knew and loved, and none had made him feel as… peaceful.

A few moments passed and Taeyong only opens his eyes when he feels Johnny's fingers brushing his hair back. Johnny hums, kissing his cheeks. "Let me take you out on an actual date. Would you like that, hm?"

Taeyong turns his head again yo look at the other, smile hurting his cheeks. "Like a date date?"

"Yeah," Johnny beams, effectively pulling Taeyong with him back into the room. Johnny's room, since Taeyong had checked out of his own and Johnny had extended his stay. He guides Taeyong back into bed, "But only if you sleep."

"Will you sleep with me?" Taeyong asks.

Johnny goes over to close the balcony doors, coming over to slip underneath the covers with him and he doesn't pull away when Taeyong leans against his side, burying his face into Johnny's firm chest. Taeyong listens to Johnny's heartbeat and lets the taller's fingers card through his hair.

He's about to fall asleep when Taeyong hears Johnny whisper into his hair. "I'm here as long as you want me to be."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Taeyong realizes, two hours before the time Johnny promised to return and pick him up for their date, that he doesn't have a decent enough outfit to be date worthy. 

He hadn't come to please anyone, so he'd initially only packed appropriate clothes for a beach vacation. It's too late to buy anything and he's only left with a dark blue shirt of silk material and a pair of jeans. It's better than his damn swimming trunks. Or the shirt he'd borrowed from Yukhei back when they were fooling around. He only still has it because Yukhei didn't want it back and it's _soft_.

How would Johnny react to smelling another alpha on him? Taeyong then wonders. A part of him wants to find out if the way his skin thrums with the familiar rush of heat is any indication. Would Johnny touch him then? Would he make sure Taeyong only smells like him? 

He decides a second later that it might be too soon. Later, maybe, when they're well into their relationship, Taeyong would try and see what Johnny would do when his alpha instincts take over. 

Taeyong badly wishes that he's back home, where he could lather himself in his favorite vanilla scented soap, because he's immune to his own scent and he hates thinking he might carry a stench even though the possibility of that is highly unlikely. Johnny had never said it but his past hookups had been very open about how good he smells. He wonders if Johnny loves his scent too.

Shower was quick and he thanks Doyoung for slipping the little bottle of body mist into his bag before he left. It smells of fruity sweetness and he tries not to put too much but enough for him to be assured that he smells nice. 

By the time he was ready, the clock reads almost half past six and Johnny would be here any minute now. He'd put on light makeup, the fringe of his hair held back by the shades he'd put up just for styling purposes. He thinks he looks pretty good for a first date. He hopes Johnny would be impressed. 

Even though this is Johnny's room, he still knocks at the door when he finally came from whatever errands he'd done in the last couple of hours and when Taeyong opens the door, Johnny is smiling. His smile falters just a little bit but it's enough to have Taeyong panicking, wondering if he'd overdressed or put too much of that body mist.

"Too much?" He asks, brows raised in question.

Johnny blinks, as if remembering that he isn't dreaming before he quickly shakes his head with a soft laughter. "No, no. Not at all. You look amazing, darling."

The term of endearment has Taeyong's cheeks heating up and he tries to bite back a smile. "Really?"

"Yeah," Johnny nods, smiling before he frowns just a little. "Is that strawberry I'm smelling on you?"

"Oh, yeah," Taeyong clears his throat. "Did I put on too much? Do you hate it?"

Johnny laughs again, taking Taeyong's hand and pulling him out of the room before he closes the door. "I like it," He says, closing his hand around Taeyong's as he leads the smaller male into the elevator.

Once the elevator door closes, Johnny adds; "I just prefer your natural scent. You're sweeter."

Taeyong doesn't get to respond as the door opens, following a smiling Johnny out into the lobby and then out of the hotel. _You're sweeter_. Taeyong has never felt the butterflies go as wild as these ones wreaking havoc in his belly.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny brings him to dinner at a nice, cozy restaurant not too far from the hotel. He recommends a meal that's apparently the local's favorite so Taeyong asks if he'd been in Ibiza long and Johnny says it's his first time too but that he has a friend here who had told him about the place. 

They make small talk and Taeyong laughs at every joke Johnny makes. He finds that besides being out of this world and drop dead gorgeous, Johnny is funny too, which only made Taeyong feel even more inclined to get closer. 

"This might get a little personal," Johnny is saying as he wipes his mouth with a napkin, finishing his glass of water. "But why aren't you mated to anyone? You're gorgeous and funny and, like, really fucking good in bed, so it's not really adding up. Wasn't interested?"

Taeyong thinks that if it was anyone else asking, he'd tell them to piss off, but it's Johnny and his question makes him smile. 

"I was," Taeyong nods, recalling a time that no longer bothers him. "I was really into this guy I was seeing occasionally, he helped me with my heat a lot back in the day and I might have developed feelings but he didn't feel the same way when I asked if he would mate me. He's already found his mate so we're just friends now. Besides that, no… I wasn't interested in anyone else. What about you, though?"

Johnny nods, listening quietly before smiling when Taeyong returns the question. "I wasn't interested in anyone. Shall we go? I thought it'd be nice to go to the beach and relax."

Taeyong parts his lips to speak, to wonder aloud why Johnny had cut the conversation so short but he figures he shouldn't pry. Instead he asks, "This time of night?"

"Are you scared of the dark?"

He shakes his head, rising from his seat and letting Johnny take his hand once again. "I'm not."

"Okay," Johnny murmurs, paying for the bill before he leads Taeyong out of the restaurant. 

They don't talk as Johnny squeezes his hand and guides him towards the direction of the beach and it doesn't take long for them to finally find an entrance and Taeyong remains quiet as he slowly registers the view of the sea's horizon the closer he gets. Of course, in the dark, there isn't much to see but it's enough to impress him.

Johnny doesn't let go of his hand, leading him past groups of other tourists and locals enjoying the sea breeze. The alpha takes sure steps to the location he has in mind so Taeyong merely follows, completely missing the thought that he had known Johnny in less than a _week_ when the taller male leads him to a more secluded area of the beach.

Perhaps it's the fact that they're mated, despite having known each other for a short time. Taeyong feels safe with Johnny and the alpha must have a sense of protectiveness over him. 

"Sit with me," Johnny says, pulling Taeyong down to sit with him on the sand. He positions himself with his legs parted, prompting Taeyong to sit within the curve of his long legs and once the omega settles down, Johnny curls his arms around him, gentle and welcoming.

Something like home.

 _I'll tell you something about me for every fact you tell me about yourself_ , Taeyong hears Johnny say but not with words, just thoughts that he shares telepathically, a way of communication that an omega shares with their alpha. Taeyong learned of it growing up but to experience it for the first time feels mind-blowing.

"How do you do that?" Taeyong asks, like a fool, when he turns his head to look at Johnny. It's unexplainable how soothing it feels to hear Johnny in his head, Taeyong couldn't help but be in complete awe. 

"You just think it," Johnny explains, his features calm. "Try."

 _Like this?_ Taeyong thinks.

Johnny nods his head with a wider smile. _So, tell me._

Taeyong's smile widens and he doesn't waste a single second diving into this new ability, turning his head back to face the waves washing up to shore. _I used to play the guitar._

 _Oh?_ Johnny responds, _I play the piano. I'll show you someday._

 _I'm kind of a neat freak…_ Taeyong threads carefully before adding. _Is that a deal breaker?_

Johnny laughs, shaking his head. "No, that's not. I'm not messy either. I think we'd go well."

Taeyong's cheeks are starting to hurt from his grinning, feeling soft and warm on the inside with this simple intimacy, a minute of getting to know one another as they should. There'd be no way to step out of their mating bond now but even if there was, Taeyong thinks he would stay anyway.

 _Okay_ , Taeyong starts again, a hand naturally curling around Johnny's wrist when the alpha's arm winds around his waist. _My guilty pleasure is playing video games til way past my bedtime. Sometimes I play til sunrise._

Johnny hums and then he says, _Okay, so I'll beat you in a game, whether or not that happens before or after the sun rises._

Taeyong turns to look at Johnny then, smiling in half surprise over how the alpha had already promised to indulge him. His eyes flickered down to look at Johnny's full lips, invitingly pink and plush, like a bed to lay Taeyong's own mouth to rest. Would it be pushing if he tries to kiss him now?

 _Can I kiss you?_ Johnny asks, as if on cue and Taeyong is quick to nod his head, almost too eagerly. It brings a laugh right out of Johnny's mouth and Taeyong is smiling as the alpha's hand curls around his jaw, pulling him in for a soft, warm kiss. 

He moans when Johnny's tongue slips into his mouth, exploring his cavern so sensually, so intimately that Taeyong couldn't help the rush of heat that travels down to his crotch, making him uncomfortably wet in his jeans. He squeezes his legs together for friction, sucking at Johnny's tongue, wishing for more and mewling when he barely gets anything. 

"You're wet already?" Johnny asks mockingly, emitting a little chuckle that goes straight to his throbbing pussy. Johnny clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "I can smell you, baby."

Taeyong whines, gasping when he feels Johnny's hand slide down the front of his body, teasing at his jeans button before slipping a hand into his pants. His legs move automatically, spreading apart to welcome Johnny's hand. The alpha is taking his time, pulling Taeyong back so he's pressed up against his chest, and when he still doesn't touch him, Taeyong presses his hand down and traps it between his legs, pathetically whiny and grinding against Johnny's palm. 

"God, you're fucking wet," Johnny whispers into his neck, free hand guiding Taeyong's legs apart once more while the fingers in his pants spread at Taeyong's pussy lips, trapping his throbbing clit between two thick fingers and stimulating him by rubbing the digits in an up and down motion.

"It's so good, fuck-" Taeyong managed, already losing the coherency in his speech as his head rests back against Johnny's shoulder. His hips twitched, lifting them only so Johnny could push his jeans off by a little, enough to give room for Johnny to land several teasing slaps onto his cunt.

It pushes him into a full body tremor, thighs quaking and attempting to close if not for the way Johnny is holding them apart. He moans, whines leaving his lips as Johnny returns to rubbing at his clit, this time with a steadily increasing speed that produces the loud, squelching noise of his sloppy cunt. 

Johnny continues to rub at his nub furiously, faster and faster until Taeyong's arching his back and squirting with a cry, drenching Johnny's hand and his own jeans with his release. 

He's shaking from the force of his orgasm, allowing Johnny to move him as he struggles to calm down. Johnny moves smoothly, and before he could register anything, he's shifted to straddle Johnny's hips and guided down onto the alpha's thick, monstrous cock. 

"Fuck!" Taeyong cries out as he's penetrated, hands shaking, not knowing where to grasp at for some kind of purchase. The sudden intrusion is enough to have him cumming once more, lifting his hips off Johnny's cock in a sudden motion as his release sprays onto their clothes. 

"You like cock that much, huh?" Johnny teases him, causing a tremble coursing down Taeyong's spine. The alpha's hands return to his hips and he pulls Taeyong down onto his cock in a single, smooth motion, filling Taeyong up entirely.

Taeyong's mouth parts but his moans are stuck in his throat, latching himself onto his alpha as if he would fall apart if he doesn't. Johnny's palm caresses down the knobs of his spine, mouthing along the column of his neck and only when Taeyong feels a little calmer that Johnny guides his movements, prompting him into moving his hips.

"You're acting like you're still in heat," Johnny whispers into his neck, looking up so their eyes would meet. "Don't even care that someone could be watching right now, do you? Of course not. Not as long as you get filled up with cock."

Taeyong whimpers, only just then remembering the fact that they're at the beach and even though it's dark and there are barely anyone around, the possibility of them getting caught is still likely and it makes his cheeks burn yet he grows wetter between his legs, clenching around Johnny's thick girth.

He must be dripping now, slick flowing out of his opening and coating Johnny's length with so much of it that he's certain both their clothes are ruined. Taeyong couldn't help the little giggle that leaves him, turning into another moan when the little movement causes Johnny's cock to brush against his g-spot. 

"Ride me," Johnny says and it's the only thing he had to do before Taeyong is moving, swiveling his lips in slow rotations, moaning as he lets Johnny's monster cock graze every inch of his walls.

Moans and whimpers part his lips, his voice loud since the area is empty. It's easy to fool even himself into thinking that his heat had returned because he's wet and needy and he wants Johnny's knot so, so badly. He moves on instinct now, grinding his hips down and occasionally bouncing on Johnny's cock. He's pulled back to look at his alpha's face, smiling as his fingers caress Johnny's cheek.

He's taken by surprise only when Johnny decides to take over, fingers gripping hard at his hips and thrusting up into Taeyong's channel with no sense of gentleness, moving like a man starved. Taeyong's moans and whines turn into nasally squeaks with every jab of Johnny's cock against his sweet spot and he clutches onto the male's shoulders to stay in place.

"Oh my god, alpha- fuck, just like that. Fuck me just like th-" He doesn't get to finish his sentence when Johnny picks up his pace and begins brutally fucking into his cunt, the sloppy mess making the slide in and out easy and slippery.

It's when Johnny pulls him down onto his cock and makes sure he stays put before he fucks up into his spot that Taeyong screams, cumming at the same time but unable to pull away due to the strong gip Johnny has on his hips. He's left shaking uncontrollably, his release squirting out of his to coat Johnny's cock with but there's so much that he knows it's dissolving into the sand beneath them.

"Want my knot?" Johnny asks the obvious, a thumb reaching down to rub at Taeyong's sensitive clitoris. 

Taeyong whimpers, nodding his head as he keeps his eyes locked to Johnny's before he lifts his hips just moments before Johnny rams his cock upwards, right into his sweet spot. It has Taeyong shaking yet again, trembling fingers curling around Johnny's wrist as if to stop him from touching him any more, overstimulated in the most delicious way that has him cumming yet again, this time releasing around Johnny's growing knot. 

When Johnny cums with a groan pressed into his throat, Taeyong has to wind his arm around Johnny's neck for the sole reason of having something to hold on to. He feels full and filthy, the kind that makes him throb and it takes him a little while for him to finally catch his breathing. There's a smile that colors at his lips, panting against his alpha's cheek as he keeps himself latched to the taller man. 

"You're such a good boy," Johnny whispers then, keeping his face pressed into Taeyong's neck. "My good little omega."

The praise has Taeyong crooning, nuzzling against Johnny's temple and the little movement he makes for a more comfortable position brings a whine out of him, feeling the full size of Johnny's knot plugged inside accidentally nudging his sensitive spot. 

They're quiet for a moment, Taeyong with his eyes closed and Johnny's arms holding him gently against his chest. He's certain he would have fallen asleep if Johnny didn't speak up.

"Baby?" 

Taeyong hums to acknowledge the alpha but he doesn't pull back to look at him, keeping his eyes closed. Johnny doesn't say anything at first so Taeyong listens to their breathing, mixed into one that he couldn't tell who inhales and who exhales. When Johnny still doesn't say a word, Taeyong frowns and raises a hand to stroke the male's hair.

"What is it, Johnny?"

Johnny's arms tighten around him. "Could you do me a favor?"

Taeyong thinks he says what he says next because he's still high off his orgasm and being impaled upon Johnny's cock with his knot still plugged inside him. But he also thinks he would say yes anyway, even if they weren't connected this way.

"Anything," Taeyong says, whispered against Johnny's temple. "I'll do anything."

For a moment, Johnny is quiet again but when he speaks, his voice is soft, almost nervous. "Let's go back to Chicago."

Taeyong pulls back almost abruptly, frowning as he tries to look at Johnny's face for some kind of sign that he's pulling his leg and doing this for fun. When he sees that Johnny is being completely serious, even though his face is illuminated by only the dim light of the moon, Taeyong doesn't know whether to laugh or cry but he settles with a choked out;

_"What?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? :)


	3. three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny must have caught on to what's racing in his thoughts because then he speaks, "I'm not asking you to move there with me. I just- I need a favor."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take note of tags!

The proposition is easy, Johnny promised him. He'd let his knot shrink enough to pull out of Taeyong, who, no matter how much he tries to move quickly, is still wobbly and unstable from their intense session. 

Johnny helps him put his pants back on and he's icky and desperate for a shower but more than anything, Taeyong wants to know _why_ Johnny had so crazily asked him to go back to Chicago together. He has nothing there, he has everything back in Seoul.

It hits him right then that being mated to someone he had just met comes with these strings of problems; whose home are they going back to when the vacation is over? 

Johnny must have caught on to what's racing in his thoughts because then he speaks, "I'm not asking you to move there with me. I just- I need a favor."

Taeyong blinks, not expecting to hear what Johnny had just said but he quickly figures that it means he doesn't have to say goodbye to everything he knows back at home. He clears his throat, shifting from one foot to another and wincing at the uncomfortable feeling of having Johnny's release still inside. This part has never been fun. "What favor?"

"Let's just," Johnny starts, gingerly reaching forward to take Taeyong's hand as if afraid Taeyong might smack his arm away but Taeyong lets Johnny's bigger hand close around his slightly smaller one, following him as they go back to the direction they came from. Johnny doesn't continue.

So Taeyong presses, "What favor, Johnny?"

Johnny sighs, giving Taeyong's hand a gentle squeeze. "Remember when we were talking about being interested in other people? Well, I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't interested in anyone, but there is someone."

Taeyong feels cold dread run down the knobs of his spine and he stops in his place, a million thoughts running through his mind. Had he stolen someone's alpha? Had he acted as a cause of someone else's heartbreak? More than that, however, Taeyong could feel the prickle of jealousy burning at his skin like fire and curling around his stomach in ugly nausea. 

"You have someone?"

The alpha turns to look at him and Taeyong's face must wear a look of mortification because then Johnny's shaking his head, closing in towards him. "No, no, no. No, I don't. I mean, I don't feel anything for him. And he doesn't want me either."

"But?"

"But our parents," Johnny sighs, raising a hand to card his fingers through his hair and slipping the same hand into his pocket. Taeyong already knows where this is going. "My parents want us to mate and marry, to continue our family line. I'm their only son."

Taeyong wonders how he should take this. Should he feel betrayed when Johnny didn't betray him? Should he feel unwanted by the family he's bound to meet eventually? Should he feel used because Johnny needed a mate, just not the boy he didn't want to marry? 

"So," Taeyong tries, slowly so he could properly construct his phrase. "You didn't wanna marry the omega and you mated me because you needed a mate?"

Johnny looks confused for a moment. "What? No! God, no. I don't want to bring this back up but if you remember correctly, you were the one who was in my room. I wasn't looking for you, Taeyong. And that's not it. I'm not using you. I just-"

Heat spreads at Taeyong's cheeks and he counters almost defensively. "You just what?"

"I just want my parents to know I found my mate," Johnny says then, slowly coming closer to take Taeyong's hands in his. "I'm genuine with you. I just need you to meet them and they'll get off my back about everything."

It would be a complete lie if Taeyong says he didn't soften up upon hearing Johnny's words. _I'm genuine with you_. Is he really? There isn't much room for doubt; Johnny is as bound to him as he is to Johnny. 

The question still hangs in the air; where would he go after? But it seems he still needs to go through this… meeting the parents before he worries about where they should go next.

Sighing, he purses his lips and tilts his head back to look up at the sky. "Okay."

  
  


* * *

  
  


The most difficult thing to do next is picking up his phone to call Doyoung and tell him what he had agreed to. He could imagine the kind of breakdown Doyoung would have when he answers the call and Taeyong decides to come clean. 

Doyoung is… Well, Doyoung is like a lifeline for Taeyong. It had been the two of them since he was ten and Doyoung was eight. Everything he's done he'd consulted the younger because while Doyoung could think rationally, Taeyong acts on impulse. This week alone, he'd gone twice without letting Doyoung know the options.

Not that being mated by an almost stranger is something to discuss with Doyoung, especially not when it happened while Taeyong was in the middle of getting railed. 

When they'd gotten back to Johnny's hotel room, the alpha had pressed a kiss to Taeyong's forehead and helped him wash up. Once he was clean and wearing Johnny's spare shirt, one that nearly reaches his mid-thigh, he paces the floor of the room, staring at his phone and wondering how to start the conversation. It should still be early back in Seoul.

Johnny had gone to get something for Taeyong to eat so he has this time to actually call Doyoung. With a sigh, he finally picks up the phone and dials Doyoung's number.

The beta answers at the second ring. "Taeyong?"

"Hey, Doie," Taeyong starts and he must have sounded scared because then Doyoung panics.

"Is everything okay? Are you alright? Did Johnny hurt you or something?"

Taeyong has to laugh at this, softened over how concerned Doyoung is for him. "I'm good, Doyoung. I do have something to tell you, though."

There's silence on the other end of the line, then Doyoung speaks. "Are you… pregnant? Wait, is that possible?"

Taeyong blinks. "Is what possible?"

"That you could be pregnant in like, what? Three days?"

"Doyoung, _no_ ," Taeyong laughs, shaking his head. "I'm not pregnant. I've been gone a week, not months, Doie."

"Okay…" Doyoung continues and Taeyong could almost see him taking a seat, back in the apartment they share. Doyoung always takes a seat whenever someone has to tell him something. "Okay. What is it?"

Taeyong thinks of the best way to put it and how much trouble he's putting Doyoung through because he'd have to handle _work_ for Taeyong. He bites at the inside of his cheek, rephrasing his thoughts. "I'm going to Chicago."

Silence. A sharp intake of breath. Taeyong thinks he would rather Doyoung scream. When the silence starts to ring in Taeyong's ears, he clears his throat, prompting Doyoung to say something. Anything.

"Let's backtrack," Doyoung finally says, clearing his own throat and Taeyong pictures him getting up again, possibly pacing the floor of their living room. "I'll start. You leave for a much needed vacation, which I agreed to and encouraged because you did need it. But you ignored me when I told you to check if you brought your suppressants, you mated with some stranger alpha when you're _not_ in the right state of mind and now you're going to Chicago."

Taeyong's lips pursed because when put that way, it does sound _bad_. He doesn't have regrets, though. Instead he agrees and possibly only because Doyoung is miles away. "Yes."

" _God_ ," Doyoung groans and the silence thickens but Taeyong stays quiet, letting his best friend say what he wants to say. On the other end, Doyoung sighs. "You're still coming home right? Do I want to know why you're going to Chicago?"

"Probably not," Taeyong says quickly. "But I promise you I will be fine. Johnny will be with me. And we both know it doesn't matter how long we've known each other. He's my alpha. We're mates. He'll protect me whether he wants to or not."

He knows Doyoung wants to counter his words but he also knows Doyoung is aware of how mating works and what it entails. There is no doubt Johnny would keep him safe, not as long as they're bonded and tied together this way. 

Doyoung is quiet again and now Taeyong feels truly guilty. He has a guess at what question that sits like an elephant in the space between them; _will you be coming home_ ? Taeyong so badly wants to say yes but he doesn't _know_ if home still means the two bedroom apartment he shares with Doyoung.

"I'm sorry, Doyoung," Taeyong says quietly, hating how his voice broke. He stares up at the ceiling, hoping by doing so his tears wouldn't fall. "I didn't mean to be a burden."

"Hey," Doyoung is quick to interrupt. "You're not a burden. Shit happens, Taeyong. Just come home soon and we'll talk it out like we always do. Okay?"

Taeyong nods even though his best friend couldn't see. He rubs at his eye, sniffling but before he sighs. "Okay. I love you. Thank you for everything."

"I love you too, Taeyong." Doyoung sounds softer now and Taeyong wishes he could hug him. "Please take care of yourself. We'll see each other soon."

Taeyong bids Doyoung goodnight and they hang up together. He doesn't know what really brought the onslaught of tears but when Johnny opens the door to the room, Taeyong is curled up against the balcony door, crying into his arms as he hugs his knees to his chest.

Johnny doesn't ask any questions as he cradles Taeyong in his arms, easily lifting him up to gently lay him down on the bed. His fingers card through Taeyong's still damp hair, and then there's another kiss on his forehead. When Johnny moved to leave, Taeyong intended to grab at his wrist but only managed to curl his fingers around the hem of his shirt.

"Stay," He croaks out, feeling vulnerable and guilty and maybe a little stupid. "Stay with me, please?"

Johnny pauses for a moment. He still has his outside clothes on, even though he'd washed up before leaving earlier. Taeyong considers letting him get changed but then Johnny nods and he gestures for Taeyong to scoot over, even though there's room for two more people on Taeyong's other side. He moves and Johnny climbs into bed next to him.

As soon as he could feel the alpha's warm body heat against him, Taeyong burrows himself into his side, burying his face into Johnny's neck. His scent is unlike any other alphas', who are usually more woody and nature based. Like Yukhei, who smells like amber and mint. Or Jaehyun, Doyoung's mate, who carries a scent of river and wine. 

Johnny is sweet and citrusy, and now that Taeyong is this close, there's a hint of lavender lingering on his skin. Not of another omega's, Taeyong could tell. 

"You smell like lavender," is the first thing Taeyong says after a long moment of silence. "I like it."

Johnny chuckles, a hand raised to take Taeyong's hand so he could place it palm down onto his chest. "You should like it. It's your scent."

Taeyong blinks, raising his head to look at Johnny's face. "It's mine? I could smell it?"

"It's the only thing I could smell before I came into the room the night we met," Johnny explains.

There's heat spreading at Taeyong's cheeks and all over his face and he wonders if this is the reaction he'll have every time he's reminded of the night he'd mistakenly walked into Johnny's hotel room to deal with his heat. Oh, how desperate had he sounded when he begged Johnny to fuck him?

Johnny continues, "I don't know how you could smell it, I don't think I've heard about any other omega who could catch their own scent."

Taeyong knows enough that omegas could catch the scent of another omega, if the other omega so much as lingered too long around one's alpha. If there had been someone of his nature that had stuck too close to Johnny, Taeyong would have been able to catch it. But there had never been any cases of which an omega could smell their own scent.

"Do you think it means anything?" Taeyong asks, resting his head on Johnny's chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

He feels the alpha's nose in his hair, breathing him in. Johnny's voice is soft and gentle when he speaks again. "I think it just means you're mine, just as I'm yours. And I love that. I know we haven't known each other well, but I love that I found you and you found me."

Taeyong listens carefully, a smile curling at his lips because no matter how absurd and sudden everything had been, it feels _right._ He would never have thought this is the path he would take, but he is here now and it doesn't feel wrong.

He inhales, breathing Johnny in. A little bit of lemon, a little like seawater and that hint of lavender lingering on his skin. Taeyong finds comfort in these smells, like when he's buried under his blankets back at home enjoying a cup of hot chocolate. Home, home, _home_.

Johnny hums again, kissing his temple. "I'm happy you're my mate."

Taeyong sleeps and he sleeps peacefully. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


They would have been able to check out of the hotel much _sooner_ if Johnny didn't start getting handsy. Taeyong had packed most of his things and his tendency to get everything done sooner than later had him gathering and folding Johnny's clothes as well. 

He's practically in his own little bubble as he packs up Johnny's clothes, sitting in a bed of Johnny's _scent_ so strong around him and it had sent different kinds of coiling in his belly, the heat probing around his insides and spreading through his skin, a little too dangerously. 

Technically, it wasn't Johnny's fault. All the breathing in the smell of Johnny had Taeyong squirming, growing wet in his panties and when Johnny had walked out of the shower, Taeyong's own scent must have filled the entire hotel room. 

He had smiled at Johnny, almost innocently as he explained what he was doing, trying with all his might to ignore the way Johnny only has a towel wrapped around his hips, showing off the very prominent v-line and the start of his happy trail. 

It goes without saying that they would be _late_. Taeyong doesn't ask about their flight or how much they'd have to pay for checking out late, just allows Johnny to spread his legs, lift the baggy t-shirt he was wearing and push his panties aside before his mouth is on his wet cunt.

Taeyong thinks he would never get over the amazing, mind-blowing feeling of having Johnny suck at his clit, tongue flicking over the sensitive nub so skillfully that Taeyong wonders if he'd done this many times and with it comes the thought of Johnny breeding _another_ omega before him. It makes the ugly jealousy in his belly intensify and he acts on it by curling his fingers around handfuls of Johnny's hair, pushing his hips down onto the alpha's face. 

But Johnny asserts his dominance by pinning Taeyong's hips down onto the mattress, keeping him in place and his legs spread apart so he could continue laving up at his sopping wet pussy. Taeyong is leaking, whining pathetically as Johnny uses the flat of his wide tongue to stimulate him, running it over his clit, over and over and over again.

It's such an obscene sight, when Taeyong raises his head and sees Johnny between his legs, his mouth and chin completely soaked with his juices. It makes heat spread at his cheeks and down his neck, thighs quaking from the pleasure and the moans he lets out are loud enough to drown out the ringing of the hotel phone, presumably a call from the reception to remind them that their checkout time is soon. 

Johnny ignores it in favor of collecting Taeyong's slick into his mouth only so he could spit it back out on his pink nub, repeating the act a few more times before Taeyong keens, sensitive and growing close to his release. Johnny ignores him too, raising a hand to use his palm to rub at Taeyong's clit, left to right to left and right again, slowly at first and then picking up his pace as he begins rubbing him furiously.

"Fuck! Fuck, alpha- Shit, that's so fucking good." Taeyong whimpers while Johnny continues to rub at him from side to side, his legs spreading wider and wider, at least until Johnny starts to slap at his cunt. Once. Twice. Three times.

Taeyong cums with a cry.

He releases in ejaculating squirts, crying as Johnny continues to rub his clit even as he dirties Johnny's mouth and chest with his release, until it's too much and Taeyong is squeezing his thighs together, entrapping Johnny's hand between them.

Johnny laughs, freeing his hand from between Taeyong's legs before he leans over and kisses him, soft and gentle and smelling so strongly of citrus and the sea and _lavender_. Taeyong whines, their skin on skin contact raising his need to be filled again and he deepens the kiss to indicate just what he wants. Johnny indulges him for a moment before he pulls back, causing Taeyong to let out a high pitched whine. 

"Johnny.." Taeyong mewls, even spreading his legs again to entice his alpha into breeding him one more time but to his dismay, Johnny merely laughs, squeezing his thigh.

"We've got a plane to catch," Johnny says instead and, as if to torment Taeyong, he unwraps the towel from around his hips, revealing his thick, hard cock, pulling on a pair of briefs that quickly covers him. "I'll help you wash up."

Taeyong rolls over onto his belly, hot all over and his skin prickles with need. "But Johnny… I want your cock. I want it inside me."

"Soon, baby," Johnny assures him, helping him out of bed and getting him on his feet again before he attempts to help him to the bathroom. 

Taeyong is sulky, however, feeling rejected and needy at the same time as he makes his way into the bathroom by himself without waiting for Johnny to help. He slams the door shut behind him, taking another quick shower and ignoring Johnny when the alpha reminds him to be quick.

Perhaps it's not time yet to show just how much he sulks but he thinks Johnny is stuck with him anyway and that's just something he has to deal with. When he's finally dressed up, he pulls his suitcase out of the room and doesn't say a word, making his way into the elevator with Johnny tailing behind.

What pisses him off even more could be the fact that Johnny doesn't _bother_ consoling him. He speaks to Taeyong as if Taeyong hasn't clearly shown how upset he is. He buys him a sandwich for lunch, kisses his cheek when he doesn't say anything and takes his hand as they walk into the airport.

He doesn't eat the sandwich, doesn't kiss Johnny back and once in the plane, Taeyong sits by the window and regrets abandoning the food when his stomach rumbles as soon as the plane takes off.

 _Whatever_ , he thinks. He'll sulk until Johnny acknowledges that he's upset, no matter how long it'll take.

  
  


* * *

  
  


"Are you upset because I couldn't fuck you?"

 _Finally_. Taeyong keeps his eyes out of the plane window, watching the sky as he murmurs. "Couldn't or _wouldn't_?"

Johnny laughs. He _laughs_. It makes Taeyong turn his head to glare at the alpha. It's so unlike him to be this worked up on not getting railed but it's no fun being rejected when all he wants is to be bred. He has a soft omega heart and it doesn't do well with rejection. Johnny's smile is still so fucking intoxicating, especially as he gives Taeyong's thigh a squeeze.

Cruel, he thinks, because just the simple touch alone is enough to send heat curling around his belly. He feels it when slick drips out of him, undoubtedly soaking his panties. Johnny must have smelled it because his nostrils flared and then he's nosing along Taeyong's jaw.

"You're so needy," Johnny says, more out of mockery to rile up Taeyong than an actual insult. "I could simply hold your hand and you'd get wet, wouldn't you?"

Burning heat spreads at Taeyong's cheeks but the words bring about another flow of his slick, growing uncomfortably wet in his pants. "Touch me… Please?"

"Right here?" Johnny asks with a quirk of his eyebrow. "On a plane, with everyone around us? God, you're dirty, Taeyong. My dirty little omega. What happens when you get needy and desperate for my cock then? Are you gonna ride me in front of everyone?"

Taeyong has to bite back a whimper, "If I have to. I just- I want you, please. I feel so hot. I need your knot, alpha."

It's not an entire lie. He's not in heat and he doesn't _need_ Johnny's knot to feel better. Taeyong is just horny and the idea of actually getting his brains fucked out of him while on a plane just turns him on even more. He bats his lashes at the alpha, leaning against his shoulder before he subtly curls a hand over the shape of Johnny's cock through his jeans. 

He makes sure to drape the jacket Johnny had given him over the alpha's lap, hiding his dirty little act from view, while he mouths at Johnny's neck. He continues to palm at the male's crotch, breathing in the familiar, arousing scent that Johnny carries and whining into his skin, growing wetter in his jeans.

"I'm so wet, Johnny," He mewls, just low enough for only Johnny to hear and he bites back the smile that twitches at his lips upon hearing the way the alpha's breathing hitched. "I'm so, so wet. I need to feel your cock rubbing at my clit, wanna make a mess all over you, all for you. Please? Please."

Johnny's jaw clenches so hard Taeyong thinks he could break them before he finally says, "Wait for me in the washroom. I'll take good care of you then."

Anticipation buzzes along Taeyong's skin and he almost immediately gets up, walking towards the washroom and locking himself inside until he hears Johnny's subtle knocks. As soon as he opens the door, Johnny pushes him in, making sure to lock the door before he's pressing Taeyong up against the wall, mouth crashing on his in a deep, heated kiss. 

The small space doesn't stop Johnny from manhandling Taeyong, pushing his pants down and then curling his fingers around the omega's throat, squeezing just enough for him to feel the pressure of it. Taeyong bites down onto his lip, thighs pressing together as he feels more slick drip down his leg.

"Please please please," He whimpers, desperation leaking into his voice and he's so wet and needy it's starting to hurt.

Johnny lifts him then, perching him onto the edge of the sink and spreading his legs apart before he works open his own jeans, pushing the pair down enough to free his thick, monster cock. Taeyong drools at the sight, hips rolling, demanding to be filled and fucked.

"You're so fucking pathetic," Johnny hisses at him, a palm coming down to tap quite harshly onto Taeyong's cheek. "Couldn't help yourself but be a whore, could you? Begging to get fucked while we're out here."

Taeyong leaks, and leaks, and leaks. The sting of the slap hurts good and Johnny's words go straight to his pussy. "Yes. God, yes. I don't care. I want your cock inside me. I don't care about anything else. Please. Please."

He cries out when Johnny pushes into him but the alpha is quick to cover his mouth with his large palm. "Keep quiet or I won't fuck you, Taeyong."

With a whimper, Taeyong nods and his eyes roll back into his skull as Johnny almost immediately picks up the pace. The alpha keeps his hand over Taeyong's mouth while his free one pushes at one of Taeyong's legs to have them spread for him. Taeyong whines into Johnny's palm as he's fucked into, every thrust sloppy and eager, made easy due to how much Taeyong is leaking. He's so wet.

When Johnny removes his hand from Taeyong's mouth, it's to grip at his hips and Taeyong whimpers, gone beyond his sober mind as he takes each brutal jab of Johnny's cock into his sopping wet cunt. He's in such an obscene position too, both legs spread out and heels over the edge of the sink while Johnny rams into him, each slide of his big cock pushing Taeyong closer and closer to his release. 

"So good," Taeyong whimpers, not too loud that Johnny would rob him off his treat. "You fuck my wet pussy so well, alpha. It's so good. No one could ever fuck me like you."

Johnny smirks then, a hand reaching down to use his thumb to circle furiously at Taeyong's clit, causing him to tremble. "Yeah? No one else, baby? Not even your friend who knotted and bred you before, huh?"

There's something humiliating in the way Johnny phrases it but god, does it make Taeyong leak even more. He nods, whimpering. "Yes. Fuck, yes. Not him. Just you. You fuck my pussy so, so good. It feels so good. I'm so wet. Fuck-"

"Yeah," Johnny whispers, pulling out until the tip catches at his rim before he slams back in, again and then again and then again, so hard and so many times that Taeyong is convulsing. "Yeah, you're so wet for me, baby. So fucking tight too. All this for alpha?"

Taeyong sobs, nodding his head. "Just you. Fuck- M'close. Daddy, I'm close. I'm gonna cum."

He isn't entirely sure what made Johnny growl; the fact that he's close or that he'd accidentally called him _daddy_ and Johnny must have liked it because then he's pummeling into Taeyong, pounding hard and fast into his cunt and he continues at it even as Taeyong tries to push him off when he starts to squirt his release. Instead Johnny fucks him through his orgasm until he empties his load into Taeyong's channel.

Both fortunately _and_ unfortunately, Johnny doesn't knot him. He craves it but he also knows it would take time for Johnny's knot to come down, and sadly they don't have that time. 

Johnny kisses him softly, a reminder that he isn't mad, that he hopes Taeyong feels better and Taeyong returns it by gently kissing him back. They share a laugh and Taeyong whines when Johnny pulls out to start cleaning him. His post-orgasm brain is still muddled but he sobers up enough to notice just how much of a mess he'd made; on the sink and on the floor, stained with his release.

Johnny helps him wipe at his pussy using the water from the tap until he was clean enough not to feel the discomfort later. They pull up their pants and Taeyong watches as Johnny cleans up his mess as best as he could.

They leave the washroom with a giggle, earning themselves glances and stares from the other passengers but Taeyong doesn't care. He's glowing on the inside and possibly outside too. There's nothing better than being taken care of, after all.

As they settle back in their seats, Taeyong watches as Johnny coolly sits next to him, as if he hadn't spent at least the last five minutes fucking Taeyong's brains out. He's so handsome, Taeyong thinks. Not a realization, just a repeated observation. His face makes _sense_ , like Taeyong is supposed to look at him, supposed to find him beautiful.

Johnny catches him staring, raising a brow questioningly and instead of looking away, Taeyong leans in and kisses him. He kisses him properly, swiping his tongue into Johnny's mouth for a moment before he pulls back, a smile on his lips.

When Johnny smiles back at him and makes sure to lean close enough to playfully bite at his neck with a chuckle, Taeyong giggles and he doesn't miss the way his heart skips a beat.

A beat, and then two beats and when Johnny falls asleep with his face buried into Taeyong's neck, he realizes that being mated doesn't always mean they're in love. Yet here he is… Ready and willing to give his heart away again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments would be appreciated 😊


	4. four.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And as if hearing that is enough, Taeyong smiles back, allowing Johnny's promise to be a soothing lotion to the rapid beats of his heart and that unsettling discomfort in his stomach. If Johnny is kind, surely his family would be too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take note of tags!

"What's Chicago like?" 

What _is_ Chicago like? Taeyong wonders. He'd had friends online who said they were from here but it had never occurred to him that he'd actually _be_ here. Sitting in the passenger seat of Johnny's black convertible, with the hood retracted and the breeze beating down on Taeyong's face, he sits with his legs curled up, stuffing chips into his mouth. 

They had gotten off the plane not more than twenty minutes ago and he'd followed Johnny out to the parking lot, where two uniformed chauffeurs waited and helped load both Taeyong's and Johnny's suitcases into the other car and driven off without another word, just a simple nod at Johnny.

The first thing Taeyong notes is that Johnny is _loaded_. Or his family must be, at least. Because Taeyong doesn't think he could even afford the cleaning lady to help tidy up his apartment, let alone hire two chauffeurs. How many cars must they have then? What would those chauffeurs do if Johnny and his parents decide to drive themselves?

"Home," Johnny says simply. There's a smile in his voice so Taeyong turns to find it stretched on the alpha's lips. It makes Taeyong smile too. "Or, well, it used to be. But lately I've felt like home even when I'm away from home."

Taeyong tilts his head, "How so?"

Johnny glances at him and for a moment, he looks like he has something to say but settles with shaking his head with a half-smile. "It's humid around this time of year but it's okay. I'm used to it. I've been here my whole life."

He likes to think of himself as an observer because he notices the smallest things, like the fact that Johnny had dodged the question entirely, but really he thinks he's just an overthinker. He overthinks, that's what he does best. It's not fun.

"You must have a lot of friends here," Taeyong says with a smile, suddenly interested in knowing how socially active Johnny could be. It's easy to forget that Johnny has an entire life here, the same way it probably slips Johnny's mind that Taeyong lives on the other side of the world. 

Johnny makes a face before laughing softly, that intoxicating one Taeyong is starting to love. "I have a close group of friends, yeah. We've known each other since we were kids. Some of us are family friends, happens when we live in a small neighborhood."

Small neighborhood of _large_ houses? Taeyong assumes that must be the case, unless Johnny's possible mansion sits in the middle of a neighborhood of other small houses. "Will you introduce me to them?"

"Absolutely," Johnny says and Taeyong thrums in the way that Johnny didn't take a second to hesitate. "They'd love you. Maybe Mark, especially. He's grown but still a fucking baby sometimes. I've a feeling you'll get right along with Ten and Yuta."

Taeyong wonders if any of those names belong to that _someone_ Johnny's parents wanted him to mate and marry. If that was the case, he understands why Johnny didn't want to do as he was told. He couldn't imagine being forced to marry someone he considers a friend or a brother. "It's just the four of you?"

"Most of the time," Johnny nods, turning into a corner with a road that stretches on before he speaks again. "Sometimes their cousins or mine show up and we hang around whenever we're free. We're tight, family thing."

Taeyong nods, taking in what Johnny is telling him. He was hoping knowing more about the family he's about to meet would calm him down somehow but his nerves are skyrocketing and he's scared it's a bit too late to be accepting outsiders into the family. He's not going to fit in.

Johnny must have sensed his turmoil, a hand curling around his thigh to give it a squeeze. When Taeyong looks at him, Johnny has a soft smile on his lips. "It'll be okay."

And as if hearing that is enough, Taeyong smiles back, allowing Johnny's promise to be a soothing lotion to the rapid beats of his heart and that unsettling discomfort in his stomach. If Johnny is kind, surely his family would be too?

  
  


* * *

  
  


They don't go to the house immediately, Taeyong notices this when Johnny drives through the side of the road, pulling up on the grass before he gets out of the car. Taeyong follows, like a puppy glued to its person's feet, as Johnny goes over to rest against the front of the car. The first thing he notices is the view in front of them, simple but breathtaking.

The sun is still pretty high up and the road behind them feels deserted, giving off a peaceful vibe to the moment. Taeyong doesn't know why Johnny stopped here but he isn't going to complain, not if he quite likes the atmosphere. 

They sit there in a comfortable silence, disrupted only when Taeyong feels Johnny take his hand, fingers interlacing and he watches as Johnny brings up their clasped hands to kiss his knuckles. His heartbeat quickens. He wants to kiss Johnny.

"Thank you for doing this for me," Johnny says then, his voice quiet, laced with the warm affection Taeyong is getting used to. "You didn't have to, but you're here and I'm thankful for that. I'll think of something to repay you with."

"Johnny," Taeyong stops him, giving his hand a squeeze. "You don't owe me anything. I think I would have to meet your parents eventually."

Johnny smiles. "I have to warn you, though. They're… a lot. My parents. They can be overbearing, I'm sure you could tell. I'm twenty-five and they still think it's okay to make my decisions for me."

That's the most Johnny had spoken about his parents, Taeyong thinks. During the car ride, he hadn't been able to stop talking about his friends and Taeyong had listened intently, happy to see how animated Johnny could get. It's clear he doesn't have the best relationship with his parents, but Taeyong thinks he would do anything to trade their places. Why wouldn't he? The last time he had seen his parents was when he was nine.

"I'm sure they just love you, Johnny," He starts, taking their clasped hands so he could close his free one around them. "I wish my parents were around to care for me like that."

Johnny startles for a beat and when Taeyong looks up, his face is stricken, as if he regrets expressing his complaint. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I love them and I know they love me but it gets suffocating."

Taeyong nods, leaning over to press a kiss onto Johnny's cheek. "I understand. I hope me coming around would lessen your burden? And that they'll be more relieved to know you'll be continuing the family line."

The alpha smiles at this, almost as if he's skeptical about what Taeyong had just said. "You do know what continuing the family line means, don't you?"

His lips part to speak but he finds nothing to say except the rush of heat that spreads at his cheeks. Johnny laughs and his body turns towards Taeyong enough to engulf him within his arms. Cheeks still hot, Taeyong takes this chance to bury his face into Johnny's chest, hands linking at his back.

"Don't worry, baby," Johnny whispers into his hair. "I won't ask that of you. But you're right and my parents won't worry about it anymore when they meet you. So, thank you."

He wants to tell Johnny that it's okay, that if it would make Johnny happy then it'd be something he would consider but in the last week, Taeyong had made irrational decisions and he doesn't want to risk making another one that he might regret. He blames it on his instinct, as an omega, to please his alpha and let his body do what it's supposed to, but even he knows that it's his heart talking and that Johnny is dangerously imprinted upon his skin. 

Johnny doesn't let him go as he speaks, so Taeyong keeps his arms wound around the alpha's waist, pressing his cheek to his chest. "I used to come here when I want to be alone. It's rare because everyone needs me around all the time."

Looking up at him now, Taeyong could see the hint of trouble in Johnny's honey eyes. It makes him want to cup his face and wrap him in a homey, comfortable bubble where he could be alone for as long as he wants and make his own decisions and be happy. But for now Taeyong could only offer a kiss, like a promise, pressed upon Johnny's jaw.

"You'll have it someday," He says, whispered against Johnny's skin. "Everything and anything you want."

Johnny's quiet for a moment but Taeyong could feel his body relax, as if it's exactly what he wants to hear. And then he says; "As long as I have you too."

And Taeyong thinks he sees a flash of their future and it's brief and blurry but it brings a smile to his lips, wide and a little giddy.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The sun is quickly setting when Johnny finally pulls up into the driveway of his four-storey mansion. His parents', he'd corrected Taeyong when the omega had gasped and complimented his home. It's _massive_ and that's not even a word to bring justice to it. Taeyong had never stepped into a house so big, let alone owned one.

He tries to school his face so he doesn't look like a fish out of water, thankful that he's had years of practice on pretending how to look okay even when he's dying inside. They both sit in the car for a little while, Taeyong's heart beating in his chest and Johnny looking as if his own heart is doing the same. If Johnny's nervous, it's okay if Taeyong breaks a sweat, right? He's screwed. He hadn't even thought of what to say.

"Okay," Johnny says but doesn't continue.

Taeyong glances at him then back at the house. "Okay."

"Right," Johnny moves then, turning off the engine of his car and then climbing out of the vehicle. Taeyong watches as he goes over and opens his door for him. "Shall we?"

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck_. Taeyong thinks. He has cold feet and suddenly he wants to go back to Ibiza and have fun and lots of sex and forget that they each have a life beyond that. He swallows and takes Johnny's proffered hand before he climbs out of the convertible as well. He inhales and he doesn't remember how to exhale but he does look down at his attire to see if he'd dressed up decently.

Johnny leads him to the door and once there, Taeyong tries to stall, clearing his throat as he pats at Johnny's shoulders as if to dust away dirt. "You clean up nicely, Mr. Suh."

The taller laughs and he mirrors Taeyong's act, except his hand goes up to tuck a strand of hair behind Taeyong's ear. "And you look like you fell right out of the sky, Mr. Lee."

Taeyong blushes. For a moment, he thinks everything would go splendidly. Johnny turns to knock on the door and not two seconds go by before the door opens, revealing yet another uniformed male who smiles and greets both Johnny and Taeyong with a nod. Another paid service, Taeyong hopes the Suh family doesn't fall into the stereotype.

Johnny takes his hand and pulls him into the house. Everything inside is clean, white walls and marble floors, paintings hung up and not a single dust resting on any surface. How many of the cleaning ladies did they pay to keep the house clean? Must be many, Taeyong thinks. 

When they finally reach the dining hall, Taeyong couldn't fight back his surprise when he sees a nearly full table, only two left empty, presumably for Johnny and himself. Beside him, Johnny stiffens, just a little and Taeyong squeezes his hand. He tries to look at the faces now staring at him but soon feels too intimidated, instead opting to look at Johnny.

"Why is Yuta here?" Johnny asks, breaking the silence and almost immediately, Taeyong tries to find the person that name belongs to. 

"John, that's not the way to speak in front of our guests," An older man at the head of the table speaks. Taeyong assumes that would be Johnny's father, judging from the similar posture and all around energy. 

The woman next to him smiles then, standing up and beckoning Johnny over. With the way Johnny smiles, it's safe to say that it must be his mom. Johnny pulls him with, going over to embrace his mother before he helps Taeyong with the empty seat and sitting next to him. 

_Yuta_ fits the face of the only other young man in this room, flanked by an older man and woman, who Taeyong assumes are his parents. His hair is dyed blond, much like Taeyong's, kept at the length that reaches the back of his neck and he looks unbothered, almost as if he would rather be elsewhere.

Taeyong waits, not knowing whether or not he should speak just yet. Johnny still has his hand wrapped around Taeyong's under the table and Taeyong's glad because then he wouldn't fumble awkwardly. The silence seems to stretch on for so long; Johnny staring at Yuta, Yuta staring at Taeyong, Taeyong staring into the empty plate in front of him. 

"So," Mr. Suh finally speaks up, "Are you going to introduce your friend here, John?"

Johnny seems to remember that Taeyong is next to him, despite his hard grip around Taeyong's hand. "Oh, this is Taeyong. Taeyong, these are my parents."

Taeyong cracks a smile, dipping his head in a bow to greet. As he'd suspected, the elder couple are Yuta's parents and then Yuta himself. Yuta smiles, warm and welcoming, and Taeyong feels himself relax just a little. If Yuta is as close to Johnny as Johnny had claimed, then it's good to see that he doesn't reject the idea of Taeyong's presence.

There seems to be tension between Johnny and his parents, however, and Taeyong looks between them in silence, hoping that this doesn't go on too long because it's awkward. He wants to go home. 

"Taeyong is my mate," Johnny finally says and for some unexplainable reason, Taeyong feels a ton of weight being lifted off his chest, almost as if he was scared Johnny wouldn't claim him. 

Yuta's parents murmur in surprise, Mr. Suh's face is beet red and Mrs. Suh is forcing a smile so fake it hurts a little bit. Only Yuta breaks into a laugh, finally looking interested.

"Finally!" He exclaims, popping a piece of chicken into his mouth. "Didn't think you had it in you, man."

Johnny is smiling but it's tight, clearly upset over his parents' reactions and Taeyong is starting to piece together the fact that Johnny hadn't actually told them he was coming home with a mate. So the two empty chairs had been a total coincidence. Taeyong doesn't feel so good anymore.

Dinner goes on then. Mrs. Suh does a great job at being host and while Yuta's parents don't seem too pleased, they don't comment on the giant elephant sitting in the middle of the dining table. Taeyong doesn't have the appetite but Johnny keeps refilling his plate, silent and reserved. It's the first time he'd seen Johnny so visibly upset.

After, when Yuta and his folks leave, Taeyong is made to wait in the living room, alone and sitting at the edge of the sofa because he's afraid he would somehow leave his fingerprints on the expensive looking furniture and upset the Suhs even further. He thinks he should have said no to coming here.

Johnny and his parents try to be quiet but their voices slowly grow in volume, loud enough for Taeyong to catch a few words here and there. Clearly Mr. and Mrs. Suh aren't happy that Johnny had gone and mated with someone else and it's obvious now that Yuta is the other omega they wanted Johnny to mate and marry. 

He wonders if Yuta is upset too, or if he's celebrating the fact that he doesn't have to marry one of his best friends. Taeyong remembers Johnny saying Yuta doesn't feel that way for him either, so he assumes Yuta wouldn't be too dejected.

With a sigh, Taeyong snakes his phone out of his pocket and opens up the messages Doyoung had left him. He couldn't help but smile at the way Doyoung had spammed him, making sure he was eating and updating him, preferably hourly. He gets a message from Jaehyun telling him to stay safe. They don't text often but he knows Jaehyun cares.

The surprise, however, is the last message he'd gotten, meaning the most recent one and it's from Yukhei. When was the last time they'd talked? Taeyong's pretty sure it hadn't been too long ago but the last message they'd shared is dated nearly a year from today. 

_Heard you found your mate. Congratulations, bub 👍🏼_

Odd, Taeyong thinks. He must have heard it from Doyoung and it's very like Yukhei to send a message with an emoji but Taeyong doesn't quite get the sudden appearance. Sure, they'd remained friends, but not _texting_ friends. Still, Taeyong replies with a thank you. 

He startles when the door opens and Johnny barges through, his facial features set in a frown but quickly softens when he finds Taeyong there. "What are you smiling about?"

Taeyong shrugs. "I've got a random text from Yukhei congratulating me."

"Oh," Johnny's frown returns. "Your ex, Yukhei?"

"He's not my ex," Taeyong starts but he gets what Johnny means, shrugging again. "Yeah, that Yukhei."

Johnny's jaw clenches and unclenches and then he offers Taeyong a smile, holding out his hand. "Take a walk with me?"

Taeyong pockets his phone and takes Johnny's hand, more than happy to leave the house that's now brimming with tension. He follows the alpha out, giving his hand a squeeze. 

Johnny doesn't return it or even look at him and Taeyong tries not to overthink.

  
  


* * *

  
  


"Your parents don't like me, do they?" Taeyong asks once they're far from the house, taking a walk in the neighborhood. It's a nice and quiet place and much like he'd guessed, the houses are big, though not as big as Johnny's.

Johnny scoffs, "They don't know you."

"You don't know me," Taeyong counters, not meaning to raise an argument, just stating a fact. "Do you like me?"

The alpha looks at him then, like he'd grown a pair of horns in the last thirty seconds, and he laughs with a shake of his head, sounding exhausted. "Kinda ridiculous to ask that, don't you think? I'm gonna marry you someday, if you want me, so yeah, I like you."

Taeyong shouldn't blush this hard but he is, thankful for the dark of the night for concealing just how pink his cheeks must be. He gives Johnny's hand another squeeze and this time he returns it. "How sure are you though?"

"About what?"

"Marrying me."

"Pretty sure I can't see an alternate future where you don't become my husband," Johnny says, the corner of his lips tugged up in a half smile. "Unless, you have other plans."

Taeyong doesn't even know what he wants to eat tomorrow so, no, he doesn't have plans for the future. "I think I'd like it if you were in my future, no matter the title."

Johnny pauses mid-step to turn to Taeyong, hands cupping at his cheeks and his eyes are soft, like he's realizing just how much he'd needed Taeyong to exist. "My parents don't know you. Once they do, I know they'd _love_ you."

He doesn't know if Johnny's trying to convince Taeyong or himself but Taeyong nods anyway, cracking a smile so it'll help the alpha relax. It seems to work because the tension in Johnny's shoulders seem to melt away and his hands slide down Taeyong's arms to take his smaller hands into them. 

And then Johnny asks, "Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?"

  
  


* * *

  
  


Taeyong said no, repeatedly, in some sort of hopeful way that Johnny would take it as _no, I have not and I don't want to_. He thinks Johnny hears it in his head because he grinned wickedly and still pulled Taeyong with him to the nearby lake, explaining to him that he used to go here as a kid.

Johnny wastes no time in stripping naked, showing off his toned abdomen and his arms and his cock and Taeyong stood behind to watch as his alpha jumps into the lake. It isn't that he's not adventurous, it's just that — Does no one actually think about _what_ could be in the lake, just waiting around for someone to jump in naked?

Granted, whatever might be in there won't specifically choose naked people, but still. Not to mention the freezing water, even though it's summer. When Johnny resurfaces — gorgeous hair, gorgeous body, gorgeous face — he's smiling at Taeyong, gesturing for him to do the same.

"C'mon," Johnny says, not too loud. "Dive in. I got you, babe. Are you scared?"

Taeyong shakes his head, suddenly more shy than scared about being _naked_ , as if he hadn't just begged for Johnny's cock in the plane on their flight here. Huffing to himself, Taeyong pulls his shirt off over his head and proceeds to undo his jeans, pushing them down until he is bare. 

He still has the decency to cover his crotch and his chest, cheeks burning before he dips into the water. The cold has him giggling, quick to swim over to Johnny, whose smile is reaching his ears and arms wind over Taeyong's slim frame. Taeyong curses, teeth chattering and Johnny laughs, squeezing him gently in his arms. 

They're so close like this, Taeyong notes and he knows that they'd been closer but there's something intimate in the way Johnny holds him. Taeyong's lips are curled into a perpetual smile, his own hands linked at the base of Johnny's spine and in this moment, there is nothing else but the two of them.

Johnny kisses him, softly at first, before he deepens it. He licks into Taeyong's mouth, lets his tongue swipe over the back of the omega's teeth and then swirls the wet muscle around Taeyong's, enough to have the smaller male whimper. 

His mouth travels along Taeyong's jaw, down his neck, where he sucks a bruising mark into a sensitive spot that has Taeyong keening. Johnny doesn't stop there; he repeats it on a lower spot, and then lower before he pays attention to the other side of Taeyong's neck, where he does the same, like he's marking him as if the bite mark in his neck isn't enough.

" _Mine_ ," Johnny growls into his skin and Taeyong has a suspicion it's triggered by the memory of him telling Johnny who had texted him earlier. It's not the first time Johnny had shown a hint of possessiveness, but Taeyong likes it.

He continues to mark him, like Taeyong is god and Johnny is worshipping him. He doesn't notice Johnny had pulled him back onto the wooden surface until the alpha pulls back, lifting him up easily so he's sitting on the jetty, legs still in the water. Heat travels through his entire body at the speed of light as he watches Johnny begin to kiss his inner thighs.

And although it's clear how wet he'd gotten from the show of affection and intimacy, Taeyong stops Johnny from going down on him, because there's a sudden need that pricks at his skin sharper than his desire to be eaten out. 

Johnny has done it many times. Taeyong wants to return the favor.

"Let me," Taeyong says, voice shaky, just a little nervous. It obviously isn't the first time they'd done it; Johnny had thoroughly used Taeyong's mouth to get off one of those nights back in the hotel, but now it feels different.

Maybe because they weren't mated then, and Taeyong was in heat and desperate. Maybe because looking at Johnny back then didn't make his heart and stomach flutter. Now that he isn't in heat and he's much too aware of his feelings, he's a little shy and he wants to make it good for Johnny. 

The alpha stares up at him, looking confused before he pieces it together and the smirk that curls at his lips makes Taeyong's inside burn and his cheeks are on fire. Johnny raises himself up on the jetty, sitting next to Taeyong in all his naked glory and Taeyong wastes no time in leaning in to kiss his alpha, tongue in his mouth, hand around his cock.

It isn't part of his plan but the kiss heats up and Taeyong finds himself straddling Johnny's hips. They kiss and kiss and kiss, until his lips feel swollen and red, until he feels Johnny's hardness press against the cleft of his ass and it's enough to remind him what he'd intended to do just minutes earlier. He moans as he slips back into the water, grateful that the jetty isn't raised too high and that where he's situated between Johnny's legs is at the perfect height with his crotch.

Johnny's fingers card through Taeyong's damp hair and Taeyong takes it as an invitation, encouragement, as he flicks his tongue over the tip once, twice. His eyes are fixated onto Johnny's face, lips parting to close around the blunt tip of Johnny's cock, effectively bringing about a soft moan. 

Taeyong suckles at the tip, fingers curling around the thick base before he pulls away only so he could lick a wide stripe up the underside of the alpha's veiny shaft. He does that repeatedly, giggling at the way the meaty appendage twitches with every stroke of his tongue and squeeze of his free hand around Johnny's pair of balls. 

There's that half smile on Johnny's lips, his voice throaty. "C'mon, baby. Don't tease."

And even though there is no tone of command in his voice, Taeyong heeds because he's _good_. He's good and he wants Johnny to call him good. He closes his mouth around the alpha's cock once again, this time taking him into his throat inch by inch by inch until his nose presses into Johnny's pelvis, eyes rolled back before he pulls away with a gasp.

"Fuck," Johnny cusses, guiding Taeyong back onto his cock. "Do it again. Go on. Make daddy feel good."

Taeyong _purrs_. When has he truly had a kink for calling someone daddy, anyway? He couldn't remember, at least not right now, and right now all he wants is to please Johnny, to please his daddy and get a sure reward later. 

He returns to suckling at the tip, keeping his eyes fixated upon Johnny's face before he closes them whilst he takes him down his throat. He bobs his head, allowing his throat to glide down Johnny's cock, hollowing his cheeks to create friction and the sounds of his alpha's moans push Taeyong into doing better. So he does.

Johnny's moans are heaven to his ears as he deepthroats the male, taking him deep in his throat and relishing in the way his mouth stretches around Johnny's length, lips around the thick base. When he pulls back, it's with a gasp and he doesn't waste another second going back to sucking the taller off, head bobbing at a rapidly quick pace, the silence of the night filled with the sounds of Johnny's grunts and moans as well as the wet squelches made of his mouth on the alpha.

It's when Johnny pulls him off his cock with a strong grasp around Taeyong's hair that he whines, complaining the loss of the alpha's shaft on his tongue. There are streaks of precum hanging off Johnny's cockhead to Taeyong's chin and he giggles, licking over his lips while he gazes dreamily up at the alpha. Johnny growls and Taeyong grows _wet_.

"Can I fuck your mouth?" Johnny asks, a little breathless and when Taeyong nods with a whimper, Johnny pulls him up onto the jetty, positioning him on his knees as he stands.

"Daddy…" Taeyong whines again, knowing his knees are going to carry ugly marks from the wooden surface of the jetty but too horny to care about it now. 

Johnny doesn't tease; his fingers curl underneath Taeyong's jaw enough to lift his head up slightly, prompting his mouth open before he pushes his cock into the wet cavern, all the way down his throat until Taeyong chokes, eyes rolling back into his skull as he takes what Johnny gives him. The alpha's free hand buries into his hair and with the leverage, Johnny begins to thrust his hips, plunging his thick, monstrous cock into Taeyong's channel over and over again. 

Taeyong _loves_ giving. He loves it when he could do something for the benefit of others and he loves it especially now that he could be of use to Johnny, for him to find pleasure and release all that tension and anger Taeyong knows he must have felt. And he knows this is considered taking, but he is giving just as well. He's giving his body and he knows Johnny benefits. 

The alpha tilts his head back as his hips snap forward, ramming his cock into Taeyong throat at a merciless speed and force, so much that the omega is left heaving, spluttering around thick girth and failing to breathe as he's used. Still, Taeyong doesn't complain or make Johnny stop. 

He likes it. He's _leaking_ because he likes it.

"You get off on this, don't you?" Johnny mocks him, sending a particularly sharp thrust down his throat. "I could smell just how wet you are. Bet you could cum from having daddy's cock in your mouth, huh?"

Taeyong mewls, the idea of it sending heated sparks into his belly and he tries to nod though to no avail because Johnny chooses that time to pick up his pace and destroy his throat. Taeyong shakes from the pleasure and the pain of being breathless while Johnny grunts, fucking into his throat.

It's only when he thinks Johnny might spill into his channel that the alpha pulls out. Taeyong is heady, whining at the loss and the emptiness of his throat but Johnny moves quickly, leading Taeyong down onto the ground where his back is pressed up against the pillar, spreading Taeyong's legs up and apart just moments before he pierces into him. 

Taeyong cries out at the intrusion, quickly morphing into a moan as Johnny kisses into his hair, kisses his face, his jaw, his neck, holds his hands as he pulls out to the tip only to ram back into him. Taeyong sobs but Johnny hushes him, fingers caressing the side of his face and kissing him again.

"Shh, I got you, baby," Johnny says, lips pressing to his forehead once more as he picks up a steady rhythm of thrusting into the omega. "I got you."

Moans spill past Taeyong's parted lips as he glances down to where they're connected, whimpering at the pleasure of being so, so full and then Johnny reaches down to circle his clit with his thumb and Taeyong _leaks_. 

It's not the best position or place, for that matter. It'd be cold if not for the way his skin burns with need, the way Johnny's damp skin rubs against his own. Johnny fucks into him hard and fast, thumb continuously flicking over his nub until he feels the familiar coiling in his belly. 

So close, so close, so close.

"I'm so close," Taeyong gasps, eyes rolling back into his skull as Johnny delivers one harsh thrust after another. "I'm so close, daddy. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Johnny doesn't say anything as he keeps pummeling into Taeyong's heat whilst his thumb continues to rub furiously over his clit, again and again and again until the omega cums with a cry, thighs quaking as he squirts messily around Johnny's cock. He gasps then, a palm pressing against the alpha's chest as he moans, clenching around the male whilst his free hand cups over Johnny's neck.

"Breed me, daddy. Fill me up with your pups. Please? Please."

It seems to trigger Johnny's release because as soon as he plugs Taeyong with his knot, Johnny cums, spilling hot and fast into the omega's heat. After a moment of Johnny slowly milking his release, the alpha shifts their position, sitting on his back and pulling Taeyong up onto his lap before wrapping his arms around the smaller male. 

His face buries into Taeyong's neck and Taeyong feels his chuckle before he hears it, one that triggers his own until they're left giggling, sweaty and damp from their little swim. Johnny murmurs something Taeyong couldn't quite catch into his skin and he doesn't repeat it, simply sighing as he holds the omega close to his chest.

Taeyong hums, eyes closing and he thinks he wouldn't complain if their forever looks exactly like this.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Later that night, Taeyong wakes up to a half empty bed. He feels restless, though mostly because this isn't his room or even the hotel room he'd gotten used to back in Ibiza. It's not so much the room, he notices after a minute of remembering where he is, because this is Johnny's room and it smells like _Johnny._ Less of the lavender, but more of the seawater and the fresh citrus Johnny carries.

Taeyong sighs as his eyes close and he buries his face into Johnny's pillow, inhales deeply until he's certain it'd be the only scent he remembers. 

This could be home, but it could only be home if Johnny's parents don't look at him like he'd destroyed their son's future. He sighs again, rolling onto his back just as Johnny enters the room and Taeyong couldn't help the smile that stretches at his lips. He's starting to think it'd be okay as long as Johnny is here, as long as Johnny wants him.

 _As long as Johnny loves him._ One could hope.

"Did something wake you up?" Johnny asks as he climbs back into bed, Taeyong turning onto his left so Johnny could spoon him. "Did I wake you up?"

Taeyong shakes his head, sighing in content as Johnny's strong arm drapes over him and he could feel Johnny's breath against his neck. "No, I'm just not used to this room yet."

"Mm, I hope time will help with that," Johnny murmurs, his hand resting over Taeyong's that's on his belly. 

"Your scent helps," Taeyong confesses, pressing back as if he could get any closer to the alpha. 

The alpha presses a kiss to his temple, giving him a gentle squeeze as his face buries into Taeyong's shoulder. "I'm gonna make sure you feel like home, baby."

This gets Taeyong thinking then. He halts into agreeing because he still has a home in Seoul and he isn't about to say goodbye to that part of his life just yet. He blinks, rephrasing his words. "Your parents don't like me."

"They will."

"And if they don't?" Taeyong presses on, turning his head to find Johnny's gaze. "Will you consider Seoul as home? I don't have parents for you to impress. It'd be just you and me."

Johnny is silent for a moment but Taeyong could feel his hesitation. He turns back to his front, staring at the curtain lining up against the window. It doesn't sit perfectly that Johnny isn't considering it, when it's clear things would be so much easier in Seoul than here. Still, Taeyong wouldn't know what it's like to have parents to stay for, to have parents to make proud of, and he doesn't want to make Johnny do things he would probably regret. 

"We'll work it out," Johnny says finally, squeezing Taeyong's hand. "I'm sure we'll work it out."

Taeyong nods. He closes his eyes and counts to ten. 

Johnny doesn't say anything else. 


	5. five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It makes him miss Ibiza, where they were free to do whatever they wanted. Even Seoul would have its restrictions.

Johnny's parents make sure they don't cross paths. Taeyong guesses it's easy to, with a house this big. He tries not to take it to heart that they choose to hate him without giving him a chance. He would have served Johnny with a golden spoon to his mouth if it means the Suhs would spare him a glance.

He considers telling Doyoung this, but he doesn't want the younger one to worry. There really shouldn't be a need for him to please Johnny's parents if they already don't like him but Taeyong doesn't want it to be the strain that would drift Johnny and his folks apart, though he doesn't know if he means that much just yet.

Johnny, on the side, has been a sweetheart. He makes breakfast in bed for Taeyong for three mornings in a row before Taeyong tells him it'd be nice to eat on a table. He blames it on the fact that he isn't used to being spoiled but he appreciates it all the same. 

At night, they made it a routine to shower together. They don't fuck as casually, because Taeyong's a little embarrassed to be doing things under Johnny's parents' roof but he did let Johnny cum on his face and in his mouth when Johnny gets a little hot or simply when he was bored.

It makes him miss Ibiza, where they were free to do whatever they wanted. Even Seoul would have its restrictions.

"It's like meeting your parents all over again," Taeyong says as Johnny drives them into the city. It's nearly lunch and apparently the alpha had made plans with his friends so Taeyong's a tad nervous about having to make a good first impression on the people who are closest to Johnny.

Johnny laughs as he turns into a corner, finding an empty space to park the convertible. "It's not as hard to impress them. You've met Yuta."

"Yeah, in front of the people who want you to mate him."

The alpha scoffs. "Yuta's fine. He's happy I found you. He said, and I quote 'so glad I won't have to marry your stupid ass'. Word for word."

This makes Taeyong giggle, warm on the inside to know that Johnny goes out of his way to make him smile. It's become a habit now to wait for Johnny to open the door for him and he lets himself indulge in this privilege, as long as he gets to. Johnny is smiling as he offers his hand and Taeyong takes it.

He's led into a diner, a simple one designed like a caravan but big enough to fit about fifty people in it. It's pink on the outside, named Tavares and the windows are clear. Taeyong could see that only a few booths are occupied but one stands out most because he could hear the laughter coming from the specific booth even before he entered the diner.

"Those are the guys," Johnny tells him with a squeeze of his hand. "You ready?"

He's not but Taeyong nods his head anyway, keeping his eyes on the group of men seeming to have the time of their lives over plates of waffles and pancakes even though it's way past breakfast time. He inhales and exhales. He'll be fine.

The three men whip their heads up as soon as Johnny pushes the door to the diner open, laughter dying on parted lips once they recognize his scent, and the strange one that must be Taeyong's. His heart stops momentarily, wishing that these reactions are more positive than negative.

It's Yuta that speaks first, features breaking into a grin. "Johnny! Come, come. You're late for breakfast, my man. Are you mistreating your mate? Taeyong, has he fed you?"

Taeyong's lips stretch into a beam. "He has."

"Don't underestimate me so much, Yuta," Johnny says though there's no real bite to his words, especially since he's beaming from ear to ear before he starts introducing Taeyong. "You've met Yuta. This is Ten and Mark. And guys, this is Taeyong. He's my mate. Please go easy on him."

Ten, as Johnny had introduced, is a male of a smaller stature. Much like Taeyong himself, he must be at least 5'6", with black hair he'd kept neatly trimmed at the sides. His smile is shy and Taeyong figures quickly that he must be another omega, like Yuta. 

Mark's alpha scent is strong, like Johnny's, except he reminds Taeyong of forest rain and cinnamon. Unlike Johnny, however, Mark isn't as tall and his cat-like eyes squint when he smiles up at Taeyong. 

"Here, you sit with me," Yuta says as he scoots over, gently pulling Taeyong down to sit next to him. Ten and Mark do the same on the opposite of them, to give room to Johnny. 

Unexpectedly, it's Ten who speaks first. "We're so happy to see you. Yuta told us you were pretty and honestly, he never lies. You're not from around here, are you? You're such a pretty omega. Johnny is so lucky."

"I said go easy on him," Johnny warns the smaller omega but Taeyong doesn't miss the smile on his lips. He gives Taeyong's hand a squeeze before speaking again. "I'll be right back, okay? You guys chat up but please, for the love of god, don't scare him away? I'm planning to keep this one."

With that, Johnny rises from his seat and makes sure to press a kiss into Taeyong's hair before he makes his way to the counter. Apparently Johnny's departure is enough to prompt all the questions from each of his friends, Ten, Mark and even Yuta bombarding him with things they want answers to.

"Has Johnny been nice to you?" Ten asks. His eyes are kind and Taeyong could tell he's genuinely curious. "Don't get us wrong, we love Johnny. But I'm sure you also know he's never been committed to anyone. I hope he's been good."

Taeyong smiles as he nods his head, feeling somewhat at ease with these new faces, despite the fact that he had never been one to make new friends. "Johnny's been very good to me. Sometimes I don't think I even deserve it."

"Hm," Yuta hums, swirling the pink drink in his glass using the straw. "Are you ready to tell us how you two met?"

Heat spreads at his cheeks, the memory of the first time Johnny had walked in on him fresh in his mind, almost as if it had happened mere hours ago. "He hasn't told you guys?"

"He wouldn't say a fucking word," Yuta scoffs but there's a small smirk on his lips. "Think we could get it out of you?"

Relief floods his system like waves. He's glad Johnny had kept that from his friends, knowing it could really embarrass Taeyong if the story was out in the open. He could only imagine what Johnny's parents would think if they ever find out. "I think that's just for me and Johnny to know."

The three of them make a sound of complaint in unison, which makes Taeyong giggle, cheeks pink and warm and his insides soft because he thinks they like him. 

When Johnny returned, he came with food. A _lot_ of food, and the boys don't hesitate as they dive in, each one enjoying his own plate of meal. Taeyong only realizes he's hungry when his stomach rumbles and the other boys laugh before Yuta's pushing a plate for Taeyong to eat. 

They talk about everything. Ten and Mark are not as quiet as Taeyong had thought and Yuta is just a little more reserved, all smiles and laughter, somehow finding everything the other boys say funny. Taeyong joins the conversations as well, answering questions they have about himself but mostly the five of them enjoy the food Johnny had treated them to. 

Taeyong, the observer and overthinker that he is, watches these people around him. He notes that Ten is _touchy_ and when he laughs he leans into Johnny and really Taeyong shouldn't feel _anything_ but he could feel his smile falter.

Yuta's did too, though less obviously, but only when Mark makes a move to help wipe off the sauce stain on Ten's chin using the pad of his thumb. A question there; Taeyong makes a mental note to ask Johnny when they're alone later.

After, when they're full and bloated from the heavy lunch and Johnny makes them walk all the way to the beach, Yuta sits next to Taeyong while Johnny indulges Ten and Mark at the shore, laughing and playing with the sand and water.

They're quiet mostly, enjoying each other's presence. When Yuta speaks, his voice is soft. "I wish you and Johnny had met in a better circumstance."

Taeyong tilts his head, looking over at Yuta. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Yuta looks up at the other three men, jaw clenching as he picks up a pebble to throw it aimlessly. "His parents and my parents, they're in the same little bubble, thinking that making decisions for us would make us happy. They claim to know us but they don't know half of what we want."

Taeyong purses his lips. He watches Johnny laugh with Ten, watches them collide in a hug and he wonders if Johnny's parents would be okay with it even if it wasn't Yuta. Taeyong sighs, staring at his fingernails. He's starting to feel annoying with the ugly jealousy that's coming out of nowhere. 

Yuta seems to notice because he looks between the sight of Johnny and Ten and Taeyong before he laughs. "Are you worried about the two?"

"Should I be?" Taeyong teases but he strains his ears to know if Yuta would tell him the truth. 

The other omega laughs again, shaking his head. "They're tight as brothers, Taeyong. There's nothing to worry about. Besides, Johnny might be yours. But that one's mine."

Taeyong blinks, trying to register what Yuta had just confessed to him and it doesn't take him long to piece two and two together. Taeyong gasps, failing to hide his grin as he curls a hand around Yuta's wrist. See? Best friends already. "You mean you and Ten? Does he know?"

Yuta shrugs, a small smile lingering on his lips. "We're not together, obviously. But we want to be. It's just… You know, we're omegas. His parents are cool but mine aren't, clearly."

Taeyong's mouth forms a tiny 'o', shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry. The world can be cruel sometimes."

"The world isn't," Yuta says then, standing up onto his feet and helping Taeyong up as well. "Society is."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ten gives Taeyong a hug before they leave and he feels just slightly bad for feeling any kind of envy towards the harmless boy earlier. He wants to blame it on the fact that he's made insecure enough with the parents not approving of him but really, even he knows it was uncalled for. 

Mark wants to mirror Ten's action but Johnny is quick to stand between them, in case his scent lingers too long on Taeyong. It's playful and it makes Taeyong giggle again as he watches the alphas get into a mock rumble but is soon distracted when Yuta hugs him as well.

In his ear, Yuta tells him to take care. He's smiling at Taeyong when they part, like the little moment they'd shared earlier was for them alone and Taeyong isn't too dense to know that it's something he would keep to himself. If he hadn't made any progress with Ten or Mark, he'd at least made a friend out of Yuta and Taeyong thinks that's more than enough.

Now, Taeyong is back on the sand, sitting with his knees up against his chest as he rests his head on Johnny's shoulder. The sun is low on the horizon, the beach is oddly nearly empty and Taeyong has been quiet, watching the sun sink into the water, making sure his head is clear so Johnny doesn't worry and try to read him.

He supposes their connection goes deeper because no matter how hard he tries, Johnny senses it anyway. 

"Why were you jealous of Ten?" Johnny asks, his voice light and amused. 

Taeyong scoffs, shaking his head. "He's pretty."

"You're prettier."

He considers telling Johnny why he was jealous, how he'd thought the Suhs would at least welcome Ten, but he doesn't, turning his head instead to kiss Johnny's shoulder. He leans into the alpha and watches as the sun slowly goes down. 

Is he happy? He thinks he's on the path to be. Taeyong isn't a pessimist nor is he too much of an optimist. He likes to let it go with the flow but his tendency to do that is making him think he would never be accepted as Johnny's mate. And this makes him sadder than he ever remembers being.

Johnny seems to sense his sour mood because then he takes Taeyong's hand and kisses into his palm. "Come with me."

Taeyong meets his gaze. It wasn't a question but he nods anyway, letting Johnny pull him up to his feet. This is his new normal. This, letting Johnny take the lead and then going wherever Johnny goes.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny brings him to a carnival, colorful lights and crying children as well as the happy ones waiting impatiently in line for their rides. There's almost everything here; food places of different varieties, game booths, an arcade, families and couples and friends having a nice night out. 

Taeyong may be twenty-five but he's a kid at heart so, really, this feels sort of like heaven to him. 

He lets Johnny buy him the tickets to the games, wanting to miss the rides entirely because he's not so much a fan of heights. As they approach a booth of some sort of a shooting game, Johnny steps forward, a cheeky smile on his lips as he holds up a ticket. 

"I'm gonna win something for you," The alpha claims, turning towards the booth as Taeyong comes over to watch.

Johnny shoots at the aim and misses. Taeyong scoffs. "Bet I could do better than you."

"You think so?" Johnny straightens up, no doubt feeling challenged though he still wears an amused smile. "Okay. We'll see who gets to win who a present."

"I _know_ so," Taeyong says smugly. If there's anything Taeyong is good at, it's playing games and while it isn't always something to be proud of, he's still good at it and this time he gets to show it off to his mate. "Don't cry if you lose though."

Johnny laughs, clearly far from intimidated and then he focuses on the game. He shoots and misses. _Miss, miss, miss._ When his turn runs out, Johnny is frowning. Taeyong laughs at this and the alpha grumbles but his lips still twitch in a smile as he hands Taeyong a couple of tickets for a go.

He tries four times and misses three times. His victory earns him a small little keychain as a token. He holds it up to Johnny. "For your car keys. You're welcome."

"That was pure luck," Johnny scoffs as he takes the keychain, leading Taeyong away with an arm curled around Taeyong's small waist. "How bout this? Whatever giant plushie you want from any booth at all, I'll embarrass myself trying to win it. I gotta impress you at some point."

Taeyong laughs, shaking his head as he latches himself onto Johnny's side. "Johnny, honestly, there's no need. We could do something else. Anything."

"Hey, hey," Johnny frowns but Taeyong could tell he's being playful. "Have some faith in your alpha, Mr. Lee. C'mon, tell me what you want. I'm not good at these things but I'll try. For you."

 _For you_ . The words play over and over in Taeyong's head and it makes him smile but also carves itself in his memory, for him to replay again in the future. _For you, for you, for you._

Taeyong points at a massive brown bear with a rose in its mouth. Johnny takes it as a challenge. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The bear is won by a ten year old boy trying to win his crush's heart, to Johnny's dismay and Taeyong's amusement. He did, however, win Taeyong a small cat plushie the size of Taeyong's fist so the omega decides he deserves a little kiss.

After, Taeyong had pulled Johnny into a photo booth, and they'd posed silly and goofy for the camera, save for a single photo at the bottom of the strip that's of Johnny kissing Taeyong's temple. The photo strip sits now in his pocket, burning holes through his pants, a physical and stark evidence that they're together. That Johnny _feels_ something.

Hopefully the same as Taeyong is starting to feel. 

They walk hand in hand now, enjoying their own cups of smoothie. People are still coming in to join the fun even though it's getting late but Taeyong likes it because it means he doesn't have to be in the Suh's house too soon. It's not that he hates it because it's spacious and big and like a dream house he'd once thought of, but the energy is depleted.

He's sipping at his straw when he feels Johnny's gaze on him. When their eyes meet, Johnny is smiling. It's infectious because Taeyong finds his own smile curling into a beam. This feels light and easy, like back in Ibiza, when the weight of their situation is stuffed deep into the back of their minds.

"Are you feeling better?" Johnny asks, effectively reminding Taeyong why he'd brought him here in the first place.

He'd completely forgotten about his jealousy earlier so it isn't a lie when he nods his head. "I'm feeling great. Thank you. Watching you lose many times was very fun."

Johnny gasps, bumping at Taeyong's shoulder with his own. "Whatever, I genuinely think that made you fall in love with me, if anything."

A blush spreads at Taeyong's cheeks. He thinks that had already happened days before today, like in the plane, when Johnny slept with his face in his neck. He doesn't tell Johnny this. Instead, he shrugs. "Maybe."

"I kind of don't want to go home yet," Johnny says after, giving Taeyong's hand a squeeze. "Let's stay out a bit?"

Taeyong is more than happy to agree, nodding as he sips at his smoothie so he doesn't accidentally sound too happy. When his drink is finished, Taeyong clears his throat and asks the question he'd just remembered thinking of. "How long have Yuta and Ten been a thing?"

"Oh," Johnny smiles, eyes twinkling. "You and Yuta are best friends now, huh? He doesn't tell that to anyone. Even Mark doesn't know. Complicated, those three."

Taeyong tilts his head in question, "The three?"

The alpha nods, finishing up his beverage as well. When he releases the straw, there's a smoothie stain on his upper lip and Taeyong giggles at this. Confused, Johnny frowns but he doesn't question it when Taeyong leans in and kisses the stain away. They pull back grinning. 

"Mark has had eyes on Ten forever," Johnny explains then, taking Taeyong's empty cup to trash it in the nearby bin. "I try to tell him it's pointless but he's stubborn. As for Yuta and Ten, well, they have their own problems to deal with. I wasn't involved until our parents decided we should marry."

Taeyong takes this in, nodding as Johnny leads them to the black convertible. "Why is that?"

"Why is what?"

"Why do they want you to marry Yuta?"

Johnny purses his lips and for a fleeting moment, Taeyong wonders if he would change the subject, but he doesn't. "Our parents are business partners. They have been since we were children. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd had this planned out all along. It's a bummer, really."

"Would you have gone through with it?" Taeyong asks as Johnny opens the car door for him. He climbs inside and waits for Johnny to slip into the vehicle as well. 

The alpha seems to consider it. He doesn't start the car just yet, retracting the hood of the convertible as he rests his head back and then he answers and his answer isn't what Taeyong wanted to hear. "Yeah… I had no other ultimatum. I was really bummed out, it's why I did a last minute trip to Ibiza. To clear my head, do some thinking."

Taeyong's nod is small and subtle. He stares at his fingers and wonders what they did before they knew the feel of Johnny's curled around them. There's a brick on his chest, weighing like an entire truck and he feels something like second choice.

"Hey," Johnny calls, soft and gentle. His large hand closes around one of Taeyong's. "We're here now, right? You're my mate. I don't regret meeting you. I'm _glad_ I met you."

Taeyong cracks a smile, nodding again. He doesn't blame Johnny for the way he feels or how the circumstances unfolded. Two weeks ago, his biggest worry had been to make it back to work after his heat but now his heart feels like it's cracking. How did it get to be this way?

Johnny must not be convinced because he smiles and gives Taeyong's hand a squeeze. He turns the key in the ignition and Taeyong listens to the engine starting up. "I've been meaning to do this even when we were back in Ibiza."

"Do what?"

"You'll see."

  
  


* * *

  
  


They stop by a 24/7 tattoo parlor and Taeyong has a gut feeling that tells him this isn't the first time Johnny visits. He's nervous, for some inexplicable reason, even though he knows there's no way Johnny is asking him to get inked. 

At the front door of the parlor, Taeyong pauses, pulling Johnny into a halt. His alpha must have sensed his worry because then Johnny laughs, kissing Taeyong's cheek. "You've nothing to worry about. I promise no needle is getting near you. Trust me, okay?"

Oh, he trusts Johnny with his life but it doesn't stop his heart from racing, pounding against his chest. He nods still, clearing his throat as they step inside. "Are you getting something done then? If it's for me, please, reconsider."

Johnny scoffs. "I mean, partly. But mostly it's for me. You just wait and see, baby."

Taeyong doesn't like where this is going but who is he to stop Johnny, right? He lingers next to the alpha as Johnny discusses matters with the person in charge. He doesn't know whether it's because there aren't many people at this time of night or because of Johnny's bank account but they didn't have to wait long before Johnny is led into a private room.

He's been to a tattoo parlor only one other time in his life, and it was when Yukhei, Doyoung, Jungwoo and Sicheng had gotten drunk at a party, with Taeyong himself and Jaehyun to look after them. Their sober voices had quickly been drowned out by the four intoxicated ones. It explains the matching t-rex doodle on their left buttcheeks. 

Apparently Yukhei had found it hilarious. Jaehyun, not so much, especially since he would have to see it every time he and Doyoung want to get intimate. 

Now as Johnny prepares himself, shirt off and cast aside, Taeyong is offered a seat to Johnny's right. He's told that it could take awhile and because he refuses to watch, Taeyong uses Johnny's shirt to hide his face, inhaling him in until he falls asleep in his chair.

When he wakes up again, he's disoriented, looking around him to find that he's alone. Before he could panic, however, Johnny emerges through the door, a smile on his lips.

"Can I have my shirt back? Honestly I wouldn't mind not wearing it but I think I might have to."

Taeyong's cheeks flush as he hands Johnny his shirt back. He rubs his eyes and finally notices Johnny's shoulder, now wrapped in a clear plastic sheet as part of the procedure. He couldn't really make out what he'd gotten inked on his skin but Taeyong doesn't ask yet, simply following Johnny out. 

"I'm sorry I made you wait for so long," Johnny says once they're back in the car. "That wasn't as fun for you as I thought it'd be, huh?"

"It's okay," Taeyong counters with an assuring smile. "Can I see what you got done though?"

Johnny seems to remember that he has a new imprint on his skin now. He's smiling as he unbuttons his shirt and pushes it off his shoulder enough to show Taeyong the print. It's an intricate floral pattern that goes down almost to his left pectoral, a light purple shade with green and black.

"It's lavender," Johnny explains and Taeyong feels heat spread over his entire face. "Because you smell like lavender. And because I want to have you be a part of me. Physically."

He wants to touch it but it's fresh and he doesn't want to hurt the alpha. For all his worries about being second choice, it's erased just like that with such a simple gesture. There's a strong, urgent need to kiss Johnny now and Johnny seems to feel the same because they stare at each other's lips and he would have leaned in to close the distance if Johnny didn't speak. 

"Let's go home," He says and it's laced with a promise, so prominent that Taeyong only nods.

The ride home is silent and quick and they barely make it into Johnny's room when Taeyong is pushed up against the wall and kissed. Johnny kisses him like they hadn't kissed for eons and he moans into the alpha's mouth, whining into the kiss just as Johnny tosses him onto the mattress. 

He still has the decency to check if Johnny had closed the door, exhaling in relief when he sees that it's closed. Johnny hungrily kisses at his jaw, mouth along his neck whilst his deft fingers work on undoing Taeyong's pants. He helps Johnny out with this, lifting his hips and pushing his jeans off them, giggling when Johnny pulls it off entirely.

His breath catches in his throat as Johnny begins to kiss the inner side of his ankle, up his calf and he's automatically spreading his legs apart while Johnny mouths over the soft of his thigh. It doesn't matter how many times they'd done this; Taeyong feels like the first time all over again. 

"Gonna take care of you, baby," Johnny murmurs against his skin and Taeyong watches as he moves to get onto his knees, fingers hooking into the waistband of Taeyong's panties before he's ripping them off. Taeyong gasps at the sudden movement though he falls into a series of giggles, closing his legs only to have them spread again forcefully.

Johnny smiles at him, leaning over his figure to plant a kiss onto Taeyong's forehead, his nose, his lips, his chin. He kisses him properly after and Taeyong doesn't remember Johnny removing their clothes but he's bare and Johnny's skin is warm against his chest. 

This is the effect Johnny has on him; when he touches Taeyong, the omega _forgets._ He forgets that he's supposed to be quiet, forgets that he's in the house of the people who don't like him, forgets the fact that he is his own person and not Johnny's cocksleeve. But this is what he has become, putty under Johnny's touch, nothing more than the omega he is, made to serve, made to please.

And he likes it. 

As Johnny licks into his mouth, Taeyong moans at the way the alpha begins grinding against him. His legs are wound around Johnny's waist, the perfect position for his growing hardness to slot right against Taeyong's bare cunt. The slide of skin against Johnny's jeans is uncomfortable at first but soon Taeyong becomes too wet to feel anything but pleasure.

To his relief, Johnny moves to kick off his jeans without breaking the kiss. Taeyong's moans are swallowed into the lip lock when Johnny positions his cock between his folds, making sure that every roll of his hips has the blunt tip rubbing against Taeyong's clit.

"Johnny…" Taeyong gasps out, eyes rolling back into his skull and lips parted as Johnny continues to stimulate his nub using the fat tip of his shaft. "Fuck, Johnny…"

Johnny kisses him again, mouthing over his jaw and along the column of his neck before he goes further down, kissing his chest, his stomach, _all_ over his stomach and he growls against his skin. "You gonna carry my pups, baby?"

Taeyong keens, nodding his head because the idea of it now makes his skin burn with need. "Yes... Please. Please."

He moans as Johnny kisses his belly once again and then he watches, with heavily lidded eyes, as the alpha rises back onto his knees. His features seem to shift and instead of pushing himself into Taeyong, Johnny presses three fingers into the omega, who responds with a sharp gasp, back arching. 

Johnny's free hand curls around one of Taeyong's ankles, kissing the inside before he presses a few onto the sole of Taeyong's feet, all whilst he continues to pump his fingers into the omega, thumb circling his clit. 

Mind now clouded with the need to cum, to be filled and fucked, Taeyong completely disregards the fact that Johnny isn't giving him his cock, that Johnny is fucking him with only his fingers. Three becomes four and now Taeyong is too aware of how much he's stretched, how Johnny could push in his thumb and he'd be swallowing the alpha's fist.

His mind reels with the possibility and his body reacts first, legs spreading wide and hips rolling upwards. "M-more."

"More?" Johnny asks, mockingly. "More what, baby?"

Heat pools in Taeyong's belly, his pussy throbbing, needy. "Want your fist, alpha. Please? Want to feel you stretch me open."

It seems to trigger Johnny, because then the alpha releases a low growl before he slowly pushes in his thumb to join the four digits that are already buried into Taeyong's cunt. The omega inhales a sharp breath, lifting his head to watch as Johnny's closed fist disappears into him.

He whimpers, feeling so, so full and the obscenity of this moment makes his skin flush, heat spreading over every part of his body. He exhales with a shaky whine as Johnny slowly pulls his fist out, the drag and stretch of the alpha's hand against his most sensitive areas leaving him shaking. 

Johnny uses it to fuck into him then, picking up a steady pace of pushing and pulling his fist into the younger male. Taeyong has no sense of decency now, too lost in his own pleasure that he cares not for who could hear his cries, his moans for Johnny to completely ruin him.

"God," Johnny murmurs, a palm pressing down onto Taeyong's belly as he fucks him with his fist. "You're so good for me, baby. So good. Always so good for daddy."

"Fuck," Taeyong whines, eyes locked to Johnny's as he leaks and leaks, the familiar coiling in his belly causing him to clench around Johnny's fist, whose fingers spread inside him and massage at the bundle of nerves that is his g-spot. And he knows he's so close. He's so, so close. He's going _mad_ just from being so thoroughly fucked. "M'gonna cum."

Johnny chooses that time to pull out of him but he makes up for it by rubbing the pads of his fingers over Taeyong's nub, going at merciless speed from side to side until the omega is cumming, squirting an insane amount of his clear release with a cry. Johnny doesn't stop, not even as Taeyong soaks his sheets. 

He's shaking by the time Johnny decides to be merciful, thighs squeezing around the alpha's hand before they're pushed apart once more and Taeyong cries out in both pleasure and pain of being overstimulated when Johnny pushes into him and almost immediately picks up a brutal pace. 

It takes Johnny a dozen or so thrusts into Taeyong's heat before he pulls out and starts jacking himself over the mess that is Taeyong's pussy, stroking himself until he spills onto Taeyong's cunt instead of inside him. 

He collapses next to Taeyong breathlessly and he doesn't say a word as he kisses the omega's neck. Taeyong is too tired to question it but the thought lingers, now that he's coming down from his high. He lets Johnny clean him and change the sheets, pointless because even his mattress is soaked. 

After, when he's showered and ready for bed, Taeyong lays against Johnny's side, keeping himself as close as possible. He wants to stay awake so he could look at Johnny's face for however long as he wants but alas, exhaustion takes over.

Johnny is fast asleep now, looking peaceful as he gets lost in hopeful dreams. Taeyong wishes this could last them a lifetime, but as he kisses onto the fresh inked spot on Johnny's shoulder, he's burdened with the thought that it might not be. 

That _this_ might not last. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


He wakes up to a tickling sensation on his nose, his first instinct being to swipe at the very thing that's causing it. His sleep-muddled brain tells him it's Johnny but when he reaches over, the other side of the bed is empty. His eyes open and he's met with yellow feline orbs staring at his face.

There's a cat on his chest and when he lifts his head, he finds two more on the space where Johnny is supposed to be. He remembers vaguely that Johnny's mentioned about having cats back home but it's been nearly a week since Taeyong had been here and it's the first time he'd seen them. 

"Good morning," He greets the one that's sitting on his chest, a gray ragamuffin that's staring down at him. It jumps off to join the other two, an orange tabby and a white ragdoll, seemingly comfortable as they cleaned themselves. 

Taeyong frowns, wondering where Johnny could be. He'd never woken up with the alpha gone and after the session last night, Taeyong worries something might be wrong. Johnny had clearly shown a need to breed him and while the memory makes Taeyong blush, he also remembers specifically _where_ Johnny had released. It wasn't inside him. 

With a sigh, Taeyong sits up. He's attacked by a sudden giddiness, lightheaded, before he notices the familiar, pricking heat that's spreading over his skin. He knows this feeling. He had felt it back in Ibiza, just hours before he met Johnny. Why is his heat here already?

Grabbing the nearest shirt he could reach, which happens to be Johnny's, he pulls it on to cover himself before putting on a pair of his pajama pants. His hair stuck out in every other direction when he looked in the mirror but he didn't bother fixing it besides to comb it with his fingers.

The cats follow him out when he leaves the room, looking for a sign of Johnny. The hallway is mainly empty but when he finds the stairs down, he finds Johnny's parents at the front door. His heart races, nervous, because the last time he had seen them was over dinner, the first time he'd come.

Mrs. Suh notices him first, her smiling face quickly turning sour but she doesn't leave when he approaches. 

"Good morning, Mrs. Suh," Taeyong starts, putting on a brave face as he smiles at her. "Did Johnny have breakfast with you?" 

She purses her lips, as if considering what she wants to tell him. At last, she says, "Johnny is in a rut. We usually let him have the house during this period."

 _Ah_ , he thinks. That would explain why his heat is back. Most omegas' heats are synced up with their alphas' ruts, after all.

Mrs. Suh continues, "Yuta will be here to help, so you don't fret yourself."

Taeyong frowns, feeling like he's been slapped right across his face. "Yuta? I'm his mate. I can help him."

Johnny's mother narrows her gaze at him. "Do you know what to do when an alpha goes into rut? Have you ever dealt with it? Save yourself the trouble and let Yuta handle it. He would have been here sooner if you weren't here, child. Tell Johnny his mother loves him."

With that, she spares him no glance as she steps out of the house, followed by her husband, who was earlier preoccupied with the uniformed employee Taeyong had seen the first night he'd come here. 

He's left behind to stand alone, dumbfounded and a little angry, a little confused. When his phone rings, he looks to see that it's an unknown number but he picks up anyway.

"Taeyong?" The voice on the other line says. Yuta.

"Yuta?"

"Yeah, it's me." The other omega confirms. "I got your number from Johnny, in case of times like this. I hope you don't mind."

Taeyong shakes his head, frowning. Yuta having his number is the least of his worries right now. His heart feels heavy and he looks up the stairs, hoping to find Johnny there. "Are you.. Are you coming?"

There's a pause. "Do you need help?"

"Johnny does," Taeyong mutters, not knowing just why he's doing what Mrs. Suh wants. "His mom said you'd help."

"Taeyong, listen to me," Yuta says. He sounds firm and serious. "Johnny's in a rut. The only person who should be there is his mate, and you're his mate. I keep tabs on him because he's my best friend but I have never, ever once gone to his house whenever his mother called. You're there now. You can help him."

Taeyong wants to cry. He's hot _everywhere_ and his discomfort is growing too heavy too fast. "I don't know where he is."

"He'll find you," Yuta assures him. "You'll be fine. I'll call you again in a couple of days, okay?"

"Okay," Taeyong says. "Thank you."

There's a beep to indicate that Yuta had hung up. Taeyong's fingers are shaking as he pockets his phone, turning on his heel to find his way back upstairs. Johnny would find him, wouldn't he? He'd find him just like that first day. 

He doesn't get to Johnny's room when Johnny does find him. The alpha is standing near the door of the room they'd slept in for the last week. His nostrils flared, clearly noting the scent Taeyong carries. Johnny's own scent is strong, inviting Taeyong in and like a moth to a flame, Taeyong follows.

It's clear Johnny is only at the start of his rut, because he still somewhat has control over himself as Taeyong closes the distance between them. 

He managed to smile at the omega, one that Taeyong returns. It's new and it's a little terrifying, but Taeyong trusts Johnny with his life. He would rather be here than not.

"Are you scared?" Johnny asks, his voice soft. 

Taeyong shakes his head. "No. Are you?"

"No," Johnny stares at his lips. His nostrils flare again. "God, you smell so fucking good."

His hand reaches to curl around the front of Johnny's shirt and he inhales. He becomes heady quickly, already intoxicated by Johnny's scent, now intensified with his rut. Normally, Taeyong would blush, but his heat is slowly taking over and the boldness that comes is entirely thanks to it.

"I'm yours, if you'll have me."


	6. six.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Suhs were true to their words when they said they would leave the house to Johnny when his rut arrives. Taeyong doesn't see them again and even the maids and chauffeurs were made to follow Mr and Mrs Suh. Not even the cats stayed behind.
> 
> For now, the four-storey mansion belongs to Johnny and in part, Taeyong too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is filthy... just a heads up!

The Suhs were true to their words when they said they would leave the house to Johnny when his rut arrives. Taeyong doesn't see them again and even the maids and chauffeurs were made to follow Mr and Mrs Suh. Not even the cats stayed behind.

For now, the four-storey mansion belongs to Johnny and in part, Taeyong too. 

Not that they do anything else besides to fuck. Johnny in a rut is something Taeyong never expected but his heat is intensified too in the way he burns too regularly, needy to be bred and knotted. When he wakes up in the morning, Johnny bends him over the bed and fucks him stupid. Before he goes to sleep at night, Johnny spreads him apart and breeds him. Johnny is… Well, Johnny is insatiable.

But so is Taeyong. 

Without the maids, Taeyong resorts to preparing their own meals. He's used to cooking for himself back at home and he doesn't worry about coming up with bad food here, especially since his brain couldn't focus too long and it isn't like Johnny could sit still long enough to finish dinner.

Like right now, with Taeyong bent over the dining table, right where he'd sat the first night he came into the Suhs' house and met Johnny's parents. 

They'd christened the entire house, almost. Johnny's room is a train wreck, with the sheets stained and the curtains ripped from the time Johnny had pushed him up against the window. They'd decided the room should be left alone. 

For now.

With how much he's leaking, Johnny doesn't ever take the time to stretch him out before he fucks him. Taeyong likes it, clearly, maybe a little too much. There's food on the table, still steaming since Taeyong had just prepared them, but Johnny's rut has made him merciless and it triggers Taeyong's heat in the way his heat never came before.

"Alpha…" Taeyong keens, feeling the bruising grip Johnny has on his hips as the alpha pounds into him, pussy throbbing with each time Johnny's cock slams into his g-spot. "So good. Fuck, it's so good. Fuck me harder. Alpha.. Daddy, please."

Johnny takes it as a challenge because then he picks up his speed and force, fingers curling into Taeyong's hair only to push his face down against the table as he rails his cunt. Taeyong is so, so wet. So wet that each slide of Johnny's cock has him slipping out before he pushes in again. 

And it sounds just as obscene; squelching wetness that fills up the room as well as the way Johnny's hip bones smack against Taeyong's ass. 

" _Mine_ ," Johnny growls, biting at the bond mark on Taeyong's neck as his knot grows, big enough for it to catch at Taeyong's rim. Even so, he doesn't stop thrusting into the omega's heat. "All mine. You're mine."

Taeyong keens, eyes rolling into the back of his skull as Johnny continues to fuck his knot into him. He grows big enough for it to hurt but he doesn't stop ramming into Taeyong instead of plugging him. The sting is delicious and welcomed and Taeyong cries out each time Johnny's knot stretches him too big. 

"Please, please, please," Taeyong whines, sobbing as he blindly reaches back for Johnny. "Knot me, alpha. Please. Breed me. I wanna be so full of your cum. Please."

Johnny delivers a final, brutal thrust, locking himself within Taeyong's heat and he cums just as Taeyong squirts messily around Johnny's knot, body shaking, attempting to pull away and he could have if not for the knot that keeps him in place.

The omega squirms as Johnny continues to fill him up with his load. Johnny cums an excessive amount now that he's in a rut, so much that he leaks out of Taeyong even when he's plugged in. Taeyong feels the alpha collect the leaking semen with his fingers and he gasps when Johnny pushes it into his ass, smearing the sticky goodness all over his skin.

He meant it when he said Johnny is merciless, almost as if his rut makes him want to push Taeyong to his limits. Like right now, even with his knot inside Taeyong and he's _still_ pumping out his load, his fingers fuck into Taeyong's asshole while his free hand rubs at his clit. 

It has Taeyong cumming once again, shaking around Johnny's cock and held up against the alpha's chest as he tries to catch his breath. His trembling fingers curl around Johnny's wrist and he whines as Johnny moves them, enough so that he could sit on a chair and Taeyong on his knot, his back still pressed up against Johnny's firm chest.

"Can't wait to have you all round and full with my pups," Johnny whispers into his neck, gentle but a contrast to the way his palm presses into the flat of Taeyong's belly, where he's still sitting snug inside, breeding the omega. 

Taeyong squirms, heated up at just the idea of carrying Johnny's litter. It'd be a while until Johnny's knot goes down so he tries to get comfortable, placing a hand over the alpha's that's on his flat stomach. "Do you really want it?"

It sounds stupid to be asking that but Taeyong is floaty and heady and he's so full of cock and cum and the thought of having Johnny's babies makes him dizzy. The alpha hums, biting gently at his neck. "I do. Only with you."

"Why'd you pull out?" Taeyong asks, remembering the night just before Johnny goes into his rut. "That night you asked me if I wanted to carry your pups, why didn't you breed me?"

Johnny doesn't immediately respond but Taeyong knows he knows what Taeyong is talking about. His fingers caress the omega's belly, face buried into his neck. "I didn't want you to want it because I wanted it. I should have asked first before I touched you."

"I want it," Taeyong says and it doesn't matter that he's in heat, that part of the person who'd spoken on his behalf is filled with the thoughts of being bred. He would want it anyway. "I want to have them with you."

The alpha smiles, kissing his skin and he pulls Taeyong down enough to lick into his mouth. "I know. And you will. You'd look so beautiful, too."

Taeyong flushes, moans swallowed into the kiss. Johnny mouths along his jaw, down the side of his neck and bites into his shoulder. His fingers reach down, where he finds Taeyong's sensitive nub and begins rubbing it in circles. 

"I love it when you cum all over my knot," Johnny says, his voice bordering into a growl. "You'll cum for alpha, won't you?"

A mewl passes Taeyong's parted lips as he nods, eyes closed while Johnny's fingers pick up the pace and are now rubbing furiously at his clit. "Yes… Fuck. I will. Just for you."

"Good boy," Johnny murmurs, sounding gentle and kind and nothing like the way he's pushing Taeyong towards yet another one of his orgasms. "Make a mess, baby. Do it."

As if all he needed is for Johnny to give him the permission, Taeyong cums with another, high-pitched cry, going through a full body tremor as he squirts messily around Johnny's knot. "Fuck. Oh my god, alpha. Fuck."

"There we go," Johnny chuckles, wrapping his arms around Taeyong's small waist and sighing as he presses his face into his back. "I love you."

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

It's all Taeyong could hear.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny is in the middle of grinding into Taeyong's pussy when his phone rings. Johnny's phone, Taeyong notes while he's filled up with Johnny's cock. He moans, thighs on each side of the alpha's hips and wrists locked together above his head. They're in one of the guest rooms in the house, and he'd just gotten out of the shower when Johnny found him.

Not that Johnny would ever leave his side. When his rut came, Taeyong doesn't remember actually spending more than a minute without Johnny glued to him. The only reason he'd been able to shower alone was because Johnny had been fast asleep. There's no complaint. Taeyong likes it. 

There's a smile on his lips as Johnny grinds into him, his mouth leaving red marks into Taeyong's flushed skin. "Your phone is ringing," Taeyong says.

Only then does Johnny lift his head to glance at the device on the nightstand. There's a wicked grin on his lips after and Taeyong wonders who it is. "You wanna pick up the call and have my mother listen to how much of a good whore you are for her one and only son?"

Taeyong flushes, heat spreading at his face, down his neck. It's one thing to pick up a phone call when it was Doyoung and he shouldn't feel the way his cunt leaks at the idea but Taeyong whimpers to show Johnny he wouldn't be opposed. Though he wouldn't jeopardize what little respect the Suhs have for him, if any.

Eventually, Johnny pulls back but he doesn't slip out of Taeyong, instead pulling him up so he's sitting on his cock. To Taeyong's mortification, Johnny answers the call. He doesn't listen to what Johnny says to his mother, though he does catch the way her voice picks up, clearly angry.

Johnny ends the call and lets his phone fall to the floor. He shifts them again, this time guiding Taeyong onto his back, legs spread wide. "Wanna see how much cum you could take."

The thought has Taeyong keening. It's been almost two days since Johnny goes into rut and Taeyong knows he takes _a lot_ but for Johnny to wonder it aloud means it'd be more. "I can take it. I promise I can."

"Yeah, fuck," Johnny cusses out before he pulls back only so he could fuck into Taeyong. He keeps the omega's legs spread wide apart, thrusting into his cunt so hard and deep that all Taeyong could hear are the filthy, wet squelches of Johnny fucking into him. 

Johnny cums without a warning, filling Taeyong up with his hot release and a grunt as his thrusts grow sloppy. Still, he doesn't pull out and instead presses further into the omega. Taeyong mewls as Johnny starts to move again, hips snapping in sharp but shallow thrusts that has his cock fucking the cum inside of Taeyong. 

"Fuck," He cusses and twitches as he cums again, triggering Taeyong's release but the omega is limited to only arching his back as he squirts. Johnny is cumming _so_ much, so much Taeyong thinks he might spill everything if he so much as move a muscle. 

The alpha's knot forms just in time, in the midst of fucking into Taeyong's heat and it doesn't take long for it to catch at his opening. Taeyong whines as Johnny plugs him, shaking from the pleasure of it, his breathing shallow.

"Look at you," Johnny murmurs and Taeyong opens his eyes to the feeling of Johnny's fingers caressing his belly. "Look at how you're bulging, baby. God, you're beautiful."

He lifts his head to see just what Johnny is talking about, whimpering as soon as he sees the way the flat of his belly is now protruding, obviously filled up with Johnny's cum and cock and his knot. He's so sensitive his fingers are shaking, both overwhelmed and pleasured from being so full, but he still reaches down to feel the shape of Johnny's cock against the wall of his abdomen. "Fuck."

"You're good, sweetheart," Johnny says, gently caressing the bulge as well before he leans down to kiss Taeyong's forehead. "You'll be carrying my pups in no time."

Taeyong smiles at this, giddy at the idea of it and Johnny mirrors his smile before their lips meet in another kiss. When he pulls back, the alpha caresses his skin, fingers brushing over his dusty pink pebbles, down his ribs to his thighs. Taeyong trembles, watching as Johnny takes his hand.

A kiss there, on the back of his palm. Johnny says, "I love you."

Taeyong wonders if he should believe him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The topic had surfaced when Johnny first started his rut, in bed while Taeyong lays against his side, on whether or not Taeyong would consent to ever letting Johnny have him even when he's asleep. The idea had gotten Taeyong wet enough that Johnny didn't waste time pushing into him. 

He figures Johnny must have waited for him to forget the conversation ever happened, because he's pretty sure it's three in the morning, if his bleary eyes don't fail him, when he feels Johnny tonguing at his clit. His brain couldn't register what was happening at first and he's exhausted, determined that this is part of a very good dream. 

He's properly woken up when the alpha pushes into him, gasping at the sudden intrusion, his monstrous cock bottoming out in a single thrust in. Taeyong is aware enough of the fact that he'd been rolled onto his front, he's bare from the waist below and Johnny is fucking him. 

Moans spill past his parted lips as Johnny continues to thrust into him. It's dark and the only thing Taeyong's eyes could make out is the window and the curtains. He's hugging the small cat plushie Johnny had won him at the carnival, something he's been doing lately, even though it's not big enough for it to be huggable. 

"Daddy.." He mewls and Johnny responds by spreading his asscheeks apart to allow himself better access to his pussy. Taeyong keens, clenching down around the alpha's cock as if to keep him buried within his heat. 

Johnny _uses_ him but in the way that makes Taeyong leak, in the way that has him begging for more, begging to be used, to be manhandled, to be treated as nothing more but a breeding hole for his alpha.

And it's exactly what Johnny does; he uses Taeyong's cunt as he fucks into it over and over without pause, cock stretching the omega's pussy with every sloppy thrust and the sounds they make together are filthy. The wet squelches of his shaft fucking Taeyong's leaking cunt fills the room, followed by the shrill sound of Taeyong's cries when he cums each time Johnny hits his g-spot. Once, twice, three times.

He'd come three times and Johnny is still thrusting into him. They're a mess of his release and Johnny's excessive precum, soaking his rear and Johnny's crotch, webbing each time their skin meets. Taeyong couldn't see it, but he feels it.

"N-no… Daddy, please. It's too much," He sobs once he starts to feel the burn of his overstimulation and he's _still_ leaking but he's growing tired. "Please."

It feels as though Johnny had released inside him with how much precum he produces but Taeyong knows Johnny is far from reaching his peak. It shows in the way he still casually, sloppily fucks into Taeyong's sopping cunt, hands pinning his hips down so he couldn't move if he wanted to.

"Shh," Johnny hushes him, breathless. "You can cum again for me, can't you, baby? You're so good. Look at you taking my cock so well. I want you to make a complete mess all over my cock. Can you do that?"

Taeyong makes a strangled sound in his throat, half turned on and half tempted to pull away. Johnny's cock always feels so good inside him and he doesn't ever want Johnny to stop. He knows he could tell Johnny to stop now and the alpha would but Taeyong doesn't really want Johnny to.

"Yes," He nods, cheek pressed into his pillow as Johnny picks up his pace, apparently motivated by Taeyong's agreement. "Oh my god, fuck! Right there.. Fuck me right there- Shit."

He's drooling by now from the way his lips are parted, eyes crossed, feeling absolutely fucked out and losing all of his senses besides the pleasure of Johnny fucking mercilessly into his cunt. 

When Johnny pummels deep into him and plugs his knot, finally, Taeyong is only half conscious, his body going through a series of convulsions as he cums as well. 

For the next thirty minutes until Johnny's knot goes down, the alpha doesn't rest his full body weight on Taeyong, spending the time kissing his skin, everywhere he could reach, while Taeyong drifts in and out of sleep. 

At this rate that they're going, Taeyong thinks it'd be impossible if he doesn't end up with Johnny's litter.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny's rut didn't only come with his need that's almost impossible to satisfy, but it also came with a gentleness Taeyong could get used to, with a touch of his paternal side that shows in the way he randomly caresses Taeyong's belly. 

It's day four after Johnny's rut started and Taeyong is seated on Johnny's lap, warming his cock for the better part of the last two hours. The alpha is snug inside him, chest to the omega's back as they watch, or try to, the show on TV. Taeyong's so used to having cock inside him that he barely squirmed, though that's probably because Johnny is being kind; he hasn't attempted anything since they settled.

There's a kiss on Taeyong's shoulder as he pulls up the blanket that's been shielding him the entire time. He's warm on the inside, smiling as Johnny begins kissing his neck. 

"What are you thinking about?" Taeyong asks, his voice soft as his eyes closed and he lets Johnny pull back so that he's resting against his chest. He hadn't tried to find Johnny's voice in his head since the first time that night, too exhausted from his heat to do much focusing.

Johnny hums. "You won't believe this but I'm actually thinking of names."

Taeyong tilts his head, turning to glance at his alpha. For a fleeting second, he wishes he isn't currently impaled upon Johnny's cock so he could turn and face the man. "Names?"

"For our babies."

Heat spreads at Taeyong's cheeks and he fails to hide the smile that stretches almost immediately at his lips. "How many have you thought of?"

"Too many," Johnny scoffs, a half laugh as his hand travels down to find Taeyong's clit, effectively bringing a moan from the omega. The touch is brief, however, because Johnny lets his fingers brush his thighs instead. "Donghyuck, if it's a boy."

It takes a moment for Taeyong to get his bearing. "And girl?"

"Something pretty. Too many pretty names. I was hoping you'd help me with it." 

Taeyong smiles, closing his eyes at the way Johnny kisses the spot below his ear. "I'd be more than happy to."

Johnny hums, mouthing along the column of Taeyong's neck as his fingers return to rubbing at his clitoris, working it in an agonizingly slow manner. It has Taeyong spreading his legs apart, leaning back against the alpha as his breathing shallows and little mewls start to leave him. 

"Want my knot, baby?" Johnny asks as if the answer isn't glaringly obvious in the way Taeyong is already whining.

The omega nods, hips stuttering as he tries to get the cock inside him to move but also attempting to flee from Johnny's insistent fingers, not wanting to cum just yet. "Want it.. Want you to breed me, alpha."

Johnny moans then, draping an arm over Taeyong's torso before he begins snapping his hips upwards to fuck into Taeyong's heat. It didn't take long for them to reach their peak, having been in this position for far too long.

Taeyong only needed a little slap to his pussy to make a complete mess all over Johnny's cock.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Apparently having his orgasm triggered by the slap had planted ideas in Johnny's head.

Taeyong really shouldn't be surprised that he ended up like this; on the floor with his back against Johnny's chest, who is resting against the side of the bed. His knees are bent, thighs apart and he's stark naked, his pink, leaking pussy on display. In front of him, Johnny had placed a full length mirror. For his viewing pleasure, he'd said.

He looks obscene, is all Taeyong could think of. He's wet from just Johnny mouthing at his navel earlier but now he couldn't help the flow of his slick, especially with Johnny's fingers massaging at her inner thighs, teasing. 

"Daddy…" He whimpers, tempted to squeeze his legs together. His eyes close but Johnny very roughly grips at his jaw to have him look in the mirror. "Fuck."

"Keep your eyes open, baby," Johnny says, this time with a few fingers rubbing between the omega's folds, adding pressure and friction to his clit. "I want you to watch yourself. Look at how much of a mess you could make."

With that, Johnny lands a slap onto his cunt, effectively causing him to squeeze his thighs together, the pleasure almost overwhelming as he cries out. He would have closed his legs if not for the way Johnny keeps his knees apart. 

Johnny lands another slap, harsher than the one before, causing Taeyong to leak onto the bedroom floor. He sobs, squirming as he tries to keep his eyes on the mirror, taking in the debauched way he looks, so dirty and needy.

"Don't cum until I said you could," Johnny reminds him but his voice alone is enough to push Taeyong close to his orgasm. "Understood?"

"Yes," Taeyong nods frantically, wanting to please the alpha even though he thinks he could cum any second now.

Another slap. Taeyong cries out, shaking. His cunt is turning an angry red from the force, slick with his wetness and when Johnny's palm hits him again, Taeyong squeezes his legs to stop himself from cumming, sobbing desperately.

"Oh god, I can't.. Alpha, I can't. I'm gonna cum."

That seems to anger Johnny because then he's keeping Taeyong's thighs apart before delivering multiple slaps onto Taeyong's wet, leaking pussy. It has the omega thrashing, shaking at the pleasure. It's so fucking good.

"Please, please, please," Taeyong sobs, on the verge of reaching his orgasm as Johnny continues to slap at his cunt. 

With a growl, the alpha lifts Taeyong up by his arm before manhandling him onto the mattress, where he quickly pins Taeyong's legs apart before pushing his cock into the omega's sensitive hole. He almost immediately picks up his pace, hips snapping forward as he fucks into Taeyong's cunt.

Taeyong is delirious, eyes crossing as his body is rocked towards with every brutal thrust that Johnny delivers. It doesn't take long for Johnny's knot to form and then he's plugging it into Taeyong before he cums, filling him up. 

Johnny is panting as he leans down, over Taeyong's smaller frame and kisses his neck, his chest, whispering 'I love you's onto his skin like a mantra. Over and over again until all Taeyong's left to do is believe him.

He believes him. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


There's a very obvious change when Johnny's rut stops; first, Taeyong wakes up at noon and his heat is gone. Second, Johnny is still sleeping next to him instead of waiting out for his knot to go down inside the omega.

While he's relieved that it's over and he could finally get a full night's worth of sleep, a part of him would miss what he'd been used to. Would Johnny's behavior change? He had always been gentle and kind but his rut had made him a man in love and Taeyong's afraid it would change.

He's exhausted, however, and it stops him from getting off the bed and making them something to eat. Instead Taeyong shifts to his left, where he's met with Johnny's sleeping body. The alpha looks peaceful, with just a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his full lips. Taeyong had to smile at it. 

He raises his hand to card his fingers through Johnny's hair, a fond smile on his own pair of lips. The past week had been tiring but Taeyong would never wish for anything to change. His heat and Johnny's rut had brought them closer in many ways and it had made him forget all the bad that coming to Chicago had bestowed upon him and for the entire week, Taeyong hadn't wished to be back in Seoul. 

When Johnny shifts, Taeyong presses closer to his side, resting his head upon the alpha's chest so he could listen to his steady heartbeat. Johnny's awake now, Taeyong could tell in the way his breathing picks up. He closes his eyes when he feels Johnny's fingers in his hair, savoring the moment.

"How long have you been up?" Johnny asks.

Taeyong hums. "Not long. How are you feeling?"

Johnny chuckles at this, "Exhausted."

"Me too," Taeyong mirrors Johnny's laugh, lifting his head to look at the other's face. He leans down to steal a kiss, on Johnny's lips and another on his chin. "Did you have fun though?"

Johnny responds by pulling Taeyong down for another kiss, this time with a teasing lick into his mouth. "Best rut I've ever had. Thanks to you. You were amazing."

Heat spreads at Taeyong's cheeks and he giggles, chin resting upon Johnny's chest. "And in the future? Will you spend your ruts with me?"

"Even if you weren't my mate," Johnny assures him, gentle fingers caressing the side of Taeyong's neck. 

The answer is enough to make Taeyong smile and for a moment, they simply stare and smile at each other, hearts beating in tandem. Just two boys, mated for life.

Taeyong thinks this is the perfect moment to say it, to let Johnny know how he feels. Johnny's already done so for so many times, he couldn't possibly not mean it, right?

"I love you," Taeyong whispers, pressing a kiss onto Johnny's chest.

The alpha pauses for a moment, as if hesitating. His mouth parts but then the sound of his phone ringing goes off and Taeyong lost his attention.

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

Had he meant any of it?


	7. seven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He isn't angry now but he isn't happy either.

Taeyong rarely gets angry and in the times that he is, he's never been one to confront or even express his feelings. It's something Doyoung is always scolding him about because he wants Taeyong to speak up, especially after that time in high school where Doyoung did something that upset Taeyong and they didn't speak for a week until the younger spoke up.

He isn't angry now but he isn't _happy_ either. 

Johnny had managed to avoid it like a plague. After the phone call from his mother, he'd brought Taeyong to take a shower together and it was like everything was okay, except Taeyong's heart felt heavy and his mouth heavier.

He kept to himself mostly, afraid that if he opened his mouth, he'd cry instead of talk like a normal, capable adult. 

It took only a day and a half for the house to go back to its prime and pristine condition. The maids and chauffeurs are back, the cats are roaming again and Johnny's parents still avoid Taeyong like he's the disease that's killing their son.

Is this the life Taeyong would choose to live? There is Johnny and it's become clear that he's in love with Johnny but what is the point of being here if Johnny would only say it when he's fucking Taeyong into the sheets?

Figuring it'd make it easier for the Suhs to be around in their own house, Taeyong decides it would be best that he stays within Johnny's room. Johnny had to go back to his father's office after his rut period; apparently he had to one day take over the business, something Johnny only briefly mentioned.

One of the maids is kind enough to secretly bring Taeyong a tray of food when she realized he didn't leave the room the entire day. She's a middle-aged lady with a kind smile and tired eyes and he made her sit with him for a minute or two so he could get her name and tell her how thankful he is.

She came again for lunch and then earlier than dinner, saying she doesn't want to get caught sneaking food in case the Suhs are ready for dinner early. Taeyong feels somewhat guilty so he makes a mental note to leave the room tomorrow so the maid wouldn't be in trouble for his sake.

It isn't exactly suffocating to be cooped up in the room. Johnny has the perfect view of the hills behind the house and Taeyong spends most of the day sitting on the balcony. The sun is setting when Taeyong's phone rings. He half expects it to be Johnny or even Doyoung, but it's Yukhei.

He frowns, a little confused, but the first thing that comes to mind is that something might have happened to Doyoung and that's why Yukhei is the one calling so Taeyong doesn't waste time in pressing the answer button. "Yukhei?"

"Hey, hyung," Yukhei's voice is deep, almost sad, and Taeyong realizes how long it had been since he last spoke to the boy. "Sorry I called out of nowhere."

Taeyong clears his throat, shaking his head. "No, it's okay. Is everything okay, though? Is Doyoung okay?"

"Oh, yeah, everyone's good. Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

Taeyong exhales, relieved. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

There's a pause and then Taeyong could hear Yukhei's chuckle. "It's weird but I guess I just… Wanted to hear your voice. It's been awhile."

Taeyong has never been one for awkward conversations and while it confuses him to hear this from Yukhei, the younger has been a friend for so long. "Aw, Yukhei. Is that your way of saying you missed me? Well, if it makes you feel any better, I missed you too. How have you been? How's Jungwoo?"

"Jungwoo's okay, I think," Yukhei says and Taeyong could almost hear his wince. "And I'm alright too. I was just going through the photo album and realized we haven't spoken in like, a year? Thought I should check up on you. How's Chicago?"

Taeyong purses his lips. It's not a good time to be talking about the situation but he knows Yukhei is only being friendly. Instead, Taeyong dodges it with playful banter. "How'd you know about Chicago and me being mated anyway?"

Yukhei laughs, "Let's just say Doyoung had a breakdown the other day when we were all hanging out with the guys and he was talking about you and this Johnny dude. And Sicheng went, who the fuck is Johnny? And Doyoung's like, fucking wasted, and he said it's the dude you mated with in Ibiza."

Taeyong cringes. He's partly glad he wasn't there to witness it but half of him misses the guys so much. "God, that obviously didn't go so well. I miss the guys."

"We miss you too," Yukhei says, pausing for a moment. "When are you coming home, hyung?"

A sigh leaves Taeyong's lips as he rests his head back against the backrest of the lounge chair, staring up at the orange sky. "I should be back in two weeks, I think. I still need to figure things out. There's just… So much right now, Xuxi."

He imagines Yukhei smiling now, the way he usually does whenever Taeyong calls him by the nickname he grew up with. "Are you really okay, Taeyong?"

Taeyong blinks. He'd always read about this somewhere, how someone could be triggered into tears just by hearing someone ask if they're okay. He'd never felt that way but now the way his vision blurs is a sign it's changed. He exhales and closes his eyes. "I don't know. I just… I wanna go home."

"Then come home," Yukhei says, his voice kind. "We all miss you here. We'll be here the minute you land. Come home."

"It's not as simple as that, Xuxi," Taeyong tries to explain. "I'm in a complicated place. I'm conflicted."

Another long stretch of silence. "You wanna talk about it?"

He knows it should be Doyoung that he tells this to but it's been almost two days since Johnny ignored his love confession and Yukhei is _here,_ listening, so Taeyong tells him. He tells him exactly what went down, excluding the details of the week of Johnny's rut and Yukhei _listens._

By the time he finishes, Taeyong is half sobbing, half laughing, mostly over how stupid he sounds now that he's telling it to a friend who had no clue. What was he thinking even coming here? From a foreign country to another and now he feels lost and alone. 

"God, I'm so stupid, Xuxi," He finally says, sniffling. "It's everything I could've avoided. Everything."

"You're not stupid," Yukhei says and Taeyong thinks if he was right there, he would let Yukhei hold him until he feels better. Yukhei has always had the best hug, all the guys would agree. The younger continues, "I think it just happens, you know? Your biggest mistake could be your best decision."

Taeyong laughs, shaking his head, "When did you get so wise?"

"I've always been!" Yukhei mirrors his laugh.

The omega parts his mouth to speak again but that's when he hears the door to his room open and he turns his head to find Johnny closing the door behind him. He sobers up, clearing his throat. "I gotta run now, Xuxi. We'll talk soon?"

"Of course," Yukhei says before they bid each other goodbye and Taeyong hangs up.

Johnny isn't smiling as he places his car keys on top of the dresser. Taeyong could see the keychain he'd won for Johnny at the carnival, now chained to the alpha's set of keys. 

He considers being the first to greet Johnny but the taller male beats him to it. "Who were you on the phone with?"

Taeyong is tempted to tell Johnny that he has no business to know but he doesn't want to start anything. "Yukhei. He called to see if I was made prisoner here."

"Huh," Johnny scoffs, taking off his suit jacket. "Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Made prisoner."

A pause. Taeyong sucks his teeth. "I don't feel like a guest."

Johnny softens at this, unbuttoning the buttons of his sleeves and then the top ones of his shirt. "I'm sorry. I know my parents make it hard for you to feel welcomed. I'll take you out somewhere this weekend, okay? We'll go see more things."

Taeyong gives a subtle nod as he gets off the lounge chair to move towards Johnny's bed. Johnny meets him halfway, wrapping his strong arms around Taeyong's small frame from the back, where he keeps him there as the sun completely sets. The alpha kisses him on his neck, his breath tickling his skin.

"Are you and Yukhei still very close?" Johnny asks, a random one that doesn't surprise Taeyong at all.

He clenches his jaw. "What if we are?"

There's a sigh. It tickles Taeyong once again. "I don't like it."

Taeyong hates confrontations. He truly does. But when his mouth opens, he says; "Do you expect me to stop talking to my friend? Why should I have to follow everything you want when you can't even say you love me back?"

Johnny pulls back this time, like Taeyong had just slapped him across his face, his arms retracting from around the omega. Taeyong doesn't want to look at Johnny's face but he turns anyway. It's started and he doesn't know how this would end. It'd be the first time they ever fought.

He looks at Johnny expectantly, heart pounding against his chest. He thinks maybe he should sit down but he's frozen to his spot, Johnny staring at him and him at Johnny.

"You didn't say it back the first hundred times I told you I love you," Johnny points out.

Hearing the three words, even though it wasn't direct, has Taeyong's heart picking up in pace. He clenches his jaw again, whether to stop himself from crying or blurting out something he doesn't mean, he isn't sure.

He slows down, phrasing his words properly. "It's hard to believe it when you say it while you're fucking my brains out. We say things we don't mean when we're fucked out like that. When I did say it, your rut was over. You _hesitated,_ Johnny. Your mother saved you from it when she called."

Johnny sighs, running a palm down his face before he sits upon the edge of the bed. "It just… took me by surprise."

Taeyong blinks, hating the fact that he feels himself softening. "So tell me now."

Another second of hesitation. Johnny looks at him briefly, jaw clenched. He doesn't say anything for the next thirty seconds. "I do care about you, okay? Please understand. I've never- I've never felt this way and it's terrifying. I'm scared of my own emotions and it's fucking sad."

Taeyong tilts his head back and stares up at the ceiling, willing for the tears to go away only for them to drop down his cheeks when he looks at Johnny again. "I wish you never said them when you didn't mean them."

Johnny looks up at him, panicking when he sees that Taeyong is crying and he gets off the bed to close the distance between them, gathering the smaller man in his arms. As soon as he was engulfed within Johnny's arms, Taeyong breaks. He cries into his chest and even though he wants to be angry at Johnny, all he feels is his stupid, stupid love for him.

"I'm sorry," Johnny says into his hair. "I'm sorry, baby. I will love you. I know I will. We're in this for life, right? You'll hold my hands and tell me that love isn't going to hurt me, especially if it's your love, because you're incapable of hurting anything. I know I'm in safe hands. Just… give me time."

But love will hurt, Taeyong thinks quietly to himself. He has never loved before but what was closest to it had hurt him when Yukhei and Jungwoo mated. And this would hurt both him and Johnny if it, for some reason, fails to work out.

Taeyong is afraid too, but who will hold his hands?

  
  


* * *

  
  


Things go back to the pre-rut period by the time the weekends rolled around. Taeyong thought it through for the rest of the week and decided that there isn't much he could do but _try._ It's not like he could retaliate and book an immediate flight; he doesn't want to use Johnny's money and the idea of leaving Johnny behind doesn't sound too easy.

Johnny doesn't do anything to deliberately hurt him, paying close attention to Taeyong and making sure he eats and sleeps well. He doesn't push for Taeyong and his parents to get along but he doesn't let Taeyong hide away or his parents to talk down on the omega. In overall, Taeyong feels somewhat safe with Johnny, but it has always been that way.

During the week of doing absolutely nothing besides to spend an hour or two on the phone with Doyoung or watching movies on Netflix alone while Johnny is away, he made the alpha buy him a box dye just for something to do. 

His already blond hair made dyeing easy and after hours working on making sure he'd gotten to every strand, he ended up with a silvery purple shade. He considers trimming but decides against it, liking the length he'd grown them into.

When Saturday comes, Johnny has Taeyong up early in the morning for breakfast at Tavares, the diner he'd first met Johnny's friends. After he's fed with a giant plate of bacon and eggs, Johnny drives them into the city.

"Tell me a place you remember most," Johnny is asking now as he drives.

Taeyong is in his seat. The roof of the convertible is retracted and the wind is beating at his face, messing up his hair. His first thought is _Ibiza,_ but his mouth says, "The aquarium."

"Why's that?"

He looks over at Johnny and wonders why he's asking, but he doesn't dwell on the thought, shrugging as he speaks. "It was the first place Doyoung and I went to together with the rest of the guys, back in the home we were raised in. It's always been the five of us and it was our first trip out of town so we were very happy kids that day."

Johnny nods, humming. "Five of you?"

Taeyong realizes he had never really talked about his friends. Maybe it's time that he does. "Doyoung, Sicheng and Yukhei had been in the home since they were toddlers. Jungwoo and I came later. I was nine, Jungwoo was six. He came three months after I did."

"May I ask why you were put up in the system?" Johnny asks, genuinely curiosity lacing his voice.

He never truly minded telling people why he was under foster care and not with his parents but Taeyong couldn't remember the last time someone had been curious enough to ask. "My mom and dad passed when I was nine," He says. "Car accident. They were on the way to pick me up from school."

Johnny is silent for a moment. Taeyong figures as much; no one really knows what to say when they're told that. Johnny's hand squeezes his knee, his smile kind. "I'm sorry to hear."

Taeyong waves it off, "It's a long time ago. Sometimes I don't even remember what they sound like. Jungwoo had it worse, his mother died at childbirth and his dad bailed after. Poor thing. He doesn't even remember what they look like."

He still remembers how closed off Jungwoo had been. While Taeyong had been the oldest, it was Doyoung who pulled him to play and sit with then seven year old Sicheng and a five year old Yukhei. They'd been the ones who managed to get Jungwoo to play and eat again and they'd been close since.

"Must be tough," Johnny says, his hand returning to the steering wheel. "But you're all out here, right? I think that's pretty damn amazing."

There's a smile that quirks up at Taeyong's lips. He should tell the guys that more often. They're here, they're still making it, and that's amazing. 

Life hasn't been the easiest but Taeyong had long learned not to complain. It gets tough and it gets easy and sometimes it's one hell of a roller coaster ride, but he'd been doing well so far, with Doyoung, even if his relationship with Yukhei and Jungwoo had drifted just a touch and Sicheng's career had taken off and he hadn't been able to see him much.

He was doing okay. He doesn't know if he still is now.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Obviously, the aquarium would look different here in Chicago than it did in Seoul, but it still took Taeyong by surprise. 

Johnny drove for some time before they got to the building, a stone structure with the classic museum design that has four pillars across the entrance. At the top, it reads John G. Shedd Aquarium. Taeyong couldn't help but miss home.

When they're inside, however, he's forgotten the fact that he's far, far away from home because even before they'd gotten into the actual aquarium, Taeyong's greeted by statues and decorations of marine life. If he was brave enough to admit, he'd always wanted to be a mermaid.

Maybe in another life. Maybe Johnny would find him then too, while he's sitting on the sand, and maybe Taeyong would have admired him from afar for the longest time.

Maybe. The thought makes him a little giddy. 

Johnny takes his hands and links their fingers together as he pulls Taeyong through the entrance. They're first met with darkness as the lights change and as soon as Taeyong sees the first tank, he's _beaming_.

Taeyong lights up and he grabs Johnny's wrist like a fucking child on Christmas day.

  
  


* * *

  
  


It's easy to forget that his problems aren't gone while he's having fun. After the aquarium trip (they spent nearly three hours there), Johnny drove them to a restaurant for dinner.

The place is built for comfort; dim lights in the interior but not too dark for it to seem dull. The chit chat amongst friends and families are hushed, like they're respecting the peacefulness of the place and Taeyong notes that there aren't any children around, which explains the peace.

Johnny leads him out the back door, where it opens to the outdoor tables and seats for guests. There's music playing down the few steps and Taeyong could see couples dancing while most enjoy their meals. The atmosphere is just as mellow as inside but with a good view of the ocean and the beach. Taeyong inhales; it almost smells like back in Ibiza.

It's nice to be out of the house for once. He used to go out on Saturdays with Doyoung if the beta didn't already have plans with Jaehyun and usually they would go for a nice dinner out or watch a movie. It hasn't been that long since he left Seoul but now he's missing home so much it hurts a little bit.

They sit by the fences that decorated the surrounding of the restaurant and Taeyong orders to his heart's delight, but only because Johnny said he should and his stomach has been craving all this foreign food he'd only ever seen on pinterest. 

He's finishing up with his ice cream for dessert when Johnny asks, "Have you, like, thought of staying here in Chicago?"

The question doesn't surprise him but Taeyong falters, shoulders sagging. He was lowkey hoping Johnny would consider moving to Seoul instead. He doesn't like it here, not really. He clears his throat and grabs a napkin to wipe at his mouth. "If I do, am I expected to stay in your parents' house?"

Johnny winces before he shakes his head. Taeyong expects him to say something else but instead he offers his hand, "Dance with me?"

He considers this but only for a second before he smiles up at Johnny and places his hand into the alpha's offered palm. Johnny seems to have dropped the topic as he leads Taeyong down the wooden steps to where a few couples and solo men and women dance to the music. It's not upbeat, the perfect slow jazz that brings peace and comfort for those enjoying dinner. 

Once on the make-shift dance floor, Johnny places his hands on each of Taeyong's hips while he wraps his arms around Johnny's neck, their bodies swaying with the slow tempo. Their eyes don't break away from each other, a smile playing at the alpha's lips that mirrors Taeyong's. This, Taeyong likes.

They don't speak for a while, simply enjoying each other's warmth and presence even as the song changes into yet another similar one. Taeyong wonders if this would last, this happiness, this peace, and he wishes it didn't have to be taken away as soon as they're back home. Johnny's home, not his.

"Your parents are never going to like me, are they?" He says finally, breaking the silence between them but only when he rests his head on Johnny's shoulder, his arms now around the alpha's waist. "They wouldn't even give me a chance."

Johnny is quiet for a moment before he sighs. "I'm sorry. I thought they'd be happy for me. But all they've cared about is themselves and I'm sorry I made this whole experience bad."

"It isn't your fault," Taeyong says, lifting his head to meet Johnny's gaze once again. "I'm scared, Johnny."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Losing you," Taeyong murmurs, a confession that makes his chest hurt, his heart race. "When I go home, back to Seoul, because I have to. I have a life there that I can't abandon just like that. When I do, I'm scared I'd lose you."

Johnny's arms move and his palms cup Taeyong's cheeks. "We'll work it out. Long distance work. I'll visit you as much as I can. You'll never have to lose me."

It should be comforting but Taeyong's worry only intensified. He tries not to show it, smiling again at Johnny before he buries himself into the alpha's arms. Somehow he doubts Johnny would be able to make that trip anyway. His parents would ensure that. 

But it's okay, Taeyong thinks as he closes his eyes. Everything would be okay. Eventually.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The drive home is quiet but there is no tension or unsettled thoughts. Taeyong lets himself enjoy the breeze as Johnny drives, listening to the faint music playing from Johnny's ipod that's plugged into the aux port. They don't talk, they just breathed. And it's okay.

They get home eventually, and Taeyong dreads this as Johnny pulls into the gated perimeter, parking into the spot where his car always is, flanked by two others. When the engine is turned off, they stay seated even after their seat-belts are off.

"You ready to go in?" Johnny asks, a hand squeezing Taeyong's knee.

Taeyong shrugs, "I'm tempted to sleep out here."

It's a joke and he's glad Johnny laughs at it. "I'll make you feel better. I'm thinking if I make you uncomfortable enough to need a shower, we won't have a problem going in."

The omega makes a face, scrunching his nose up. "What do you mean?"

"I wanna eat you out."

Taeyong chokes, breaking into a laugh before he realizes Johnny is being serious. He raises his eyebrows questioningly but the idea doesn't repulse him. It's amusing, really. "Out here? In your car? I'm not cleaning my mess."

"I'll have someone else clean it," Johnny says casually and he's leaning into Taeyong's space, nudging at his jaw with his nose. "Let them smell you in my car and see how lucky I am to have someone so sweet. Think they'd get off to your scent?"

Heat swirls in Taeyong's belly, his voice soft. "Do you like that? Strangers getting off to my scent?"

"Sure," Johnny murmurs, "But only because they wouldn't even know what you look like. I can't blame them. Your scent is sweet as hell. Anyone would wanna claim you."

Taeyong's cheeks turn pink, maybe even red. "I'm yours, though."

"I know," Johnny hums, this time kissing Taeyong languidly as his fingers move to slip into Taeyong's pants, where he quickly finds his mound and begins sliding his fingers between the omega's clothed folds. "Let me have you."

A whimper parts Taeyong's lips as he nods his consent, whispering a quiet _'yes'_ as Johnny kisses down his throat, marking him with little red marks he knows he'll admire and smile at in the morning. The pleasure is short lived when Johnny pulls away, retracting completely and Taeyong is about to protest when he feels Johnny tug at his ankles, effectively making him squeal as he's pulled towards the driver's seat.

The car door is open now and Johnny is kneeling on the ground as he guides Taeyong's legs apart after he effortlessly pulls off his pants, leaving him bare from the waist down. He has an arm around the headrest of Johnny's seat, the other bracing himself against the dashboard. 

It isn't the best position and his spine will complain later when he's trying to sleep but Taeyong is leaking so much so he doesn't say anything and lets Johnny have him. 

He moans just as soon as Johnny's mouth goes down on him, latching his lips around Taeyong's clit and sucking at him with fervor. He gasps at the pleasure, head thrown back as his hips move to feel more of Johnny's tongue that circles and laves at his sensitive, swollen nub. 

"F-fuck," Taeyong hisses as Johnny continues to suck at his clit. It's wet and obscene and the sounds are evidence of the filth they're taking part of and Taeyong doesn't want it to stop. He whines, thighs quaking. "So good, alpha.."

Johnny is persistent; his fingers dig into Taeyong's thigh, squeezing around a handful of flesh as he moves his head in a side to side motion, stimulating the omega's clitoris. Taeyong keens, little mewls leaving him as he rolls his hips and he gasps when he feels Johnny's digits circle around the rim of his asshole, teasing it with subtle presses against the skin.

Teeth sink into his plush bottom lip as he raises his head to look at the alpha, his breathing shallow and his insides twisting with pleasure. He moans when Johnny uses his slick to push two fingers into his hole and he gasps as those two digits begin pumping in and out of him whilst Johnny's mouth suckles at his nub. It's almost too much. 

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." He gasps, keening as his legs tremble, threatening to close around Johnny's head. "Alpha!"

When Johnny doesn't let up and instead continues to suck at his clit while pumping two fingers into his ass, Taeyong trembles and cums with a cry, the orgasm sending a full body tremor that has him kicking his leg. His release came in a squirt, spraying all over Johnny's face and his own thighs. The ground must be damp too but it's dark.

He takes a moment to come down from his high and when he does, Taeyong lets his head fall back and regrets it almost immediately when it thumps against something hard, sending a sharp sting through the back of his head.

"Ow, fuck," He whines but it's funny and when he breaks into a laugh, Johnny joins him. 

The alpha straightens up and pulls Taeyong upward so they could kiss. Johnny laughs against Taeyong's lips and he tries to swallow the sound, hoping to keep it forever. When they part, Taeyong gazes into Johnny's eyes, finding nothing but pure fondness within those honey golds and he wonders when Johnny would feel ready to tell him he loves him.

Taeyong would believe him. 

"Can you walk or should I carry you in like my bride?" Johnny teases as he rises to his feet, helping Taeyong up as well.

Taeyong scrunched up his nose and nearly stumbled if Johnny didn't catch his elbow. He pulls on his panties and pants hastily, feeling icky and in need of a shower now, proving Johnny right. "I can walk. Your parents are gonna say something if they see you do that."

Johnny scoffs, locking up his car and then curling his hand around Taeyong's. "They can say whatever they want."

Taeyong giggles, confident and determined that Johnny wouldn't let anyone look down or degrade him. It's gone too soon, however, because as soon as the door opens, Johnny stiffens, like a teenager caught sneaking out past curfew. Out in the living room, his parents are seated, waiting for them.

His gut feeling tells him there's nothing good that could come out of this and he sends a silent wish that the good times they had today weren't their last. 

The very prominent difference is that Mrs Suh is smiling. Her husband sits next to her, inhaling a cigar while leaning back against the expensive couch cushion, face stoic. She, however, is _smiling._ Taeyong doesn't think he's ever seen her smile in his direction. 

"Ma," Johnny greets her, tightening his grip around Taeyong's hand before pulling him further into the house, towards where his parents are seated. When Mrs Suh gestures for them to sit, Taeyong keeps himself close to Johnny.

Mrs Suh smiles at her son, "Good day, Johnny?"

Taeyong watches as Johnny nods, eyes flickering between his mother and father. "What's going on, though?"

"Oh," Johnny's mother waves it off and for a second, she smiles at Taeyong. She _smiles._ "I just wanted to tell you we'll be having a feast tomorrow. I've invited a lot of our close family and friends."

Johnny frowns, "What's the occasion?"

Mrs Suh shrugs her shoulders, "It's been awhile. And don't we need to introduce a new family member to them?"

Hearing this has Taeyong lifting his gaze to meet hers. Had he heard it right? Had she just referred to him as a new member of the family? Taeyong looks over at Johnny, whose lips are curled so wide they could have reached his ears.

"Really, Ma?"

His mother nods and when she stands up, Johnny and Taeyong do too. She smiles at Taeyong again, going so far as patting at his cheek before she says, "Wear something nice."

With that, she waves them off, mumbling something about getting a good night's sleep. Johnny is beaming as he pulls a very confused Taeyong up the stairs and into his room. 

What just happened?

Inside, Taeyong still couldn't make sense of things. He's a little stunned, to say the least. It's bordering suspicious, like he's supposed to expect her to come in at any time now and say _'Gotcha! The biggest joke in the world is you for thinking I'd ever let you marry my son!'_. She wouldn't be wrong.

He takes that much needed shower alone, since Johnny had disappeared downstairs, probably to talk to his parents again. He's having mixed feelings towards Mrs Suh's sudden change and something at the back of his head tells him to prepare for the worst, but he so badly wants to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she _is_ trying. Maybe.

Hair still slightly damp, Taeyong climbs into bed and hides himself under the covers. Johnny comes back with a smile and he kisses Taeyong's forehead before bidding him goodnight and then disappearing into the bathroom.

Taeyong sighs, staying in just this position for a few minutes before his eyes caught the photo strip he'd taken with Johnny the night they went to that carnival date. He smiles at the pictures and caresses the smiling Johnny in it with his thumb.

He was scared of losing Johnny, but now he's afraid that would be inevitable.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The first thing Taeyong worries about when he wakes up in the morning is that he doesn't have something nice to wear and then it triggers the worry of disappointing Mrs Suh because she had told him specifically to wear something nice and now he doesn't _have_ something nice. Fuck.

Of course, Johnny, his hero and savior, left a note above the covered outfit he laid out upon the mattress that says _'for you'_ along with a single rose that sits prettily next to it. 

Taeyong feels giddy, smiling until his cheeks hurt as he picks up the rose and takes a whiff of it. He's floaty on his feet as his worries melt away. He has something nice to wear, thanks to Johnny, and Johnny's parents are finally welcoming him into the family, as sudden as it is. He's overjoyed.

He takes a long shower, making sure to come out of it smelling like his shampoo and the body soap Johnny uses. Drying his hair takes time but he does it patiently, leaving it parted in the center when he styles it before slicking back the rest of the silvery purples, with only a few strands over his left eye. He keeps his makeup simple but makes sure his eyes pop out in its brown hues. 

The outfit Johnny had gotten for him is a pair of nude colored, high-waisted pants and a shirt with dark green designs that screamed formal but also simple and borderline casual. Taeyong had never worn anything like it so he's skeptical he would look nice in it but he appreciates it anyway.

By the time he was ready, the clock struck five in the evening. Johnny texted him saying he will see Taeyong at dinner so now he's a little nervous about going downstairs on his own. It feels as if he'd wake up from this dream if he steps out of the room. It's almost too good to be true.

Inhaling and then exhaling a little too shakily, Taeyong braces himself as he curls his fingers around the doorknob. He opens and the first thing he sees is Johnny, suited up in color that matches Taeyong's pants with another single rose stem in his hand, his smile wide and giddy.

Taeyong's own lips curl into a beam and he takes the rose before he places his hand, and his heart, onto the palm of Johnny's. They are both Johnny's now.

The faint murmurs of people chatting with a low volume music in the ground fill his ears as Johnny leads him down the stairs. The main living room just beneath the flight of stairs is scarse with people and Taeyong could only see the male helper he doesn't know the name of waiting by the door, presumably to greet guests, but everyone else must be in the main hall. 

"You look fucking stunning, baby," Johnny whispers into his ear as they make their way to the hall. "I'd eat you up right now if we didn't have to be here."

Taeyong giggles, shoving playfully at Johnny's arm for the way his cheeks heated up. Their little moment is disrupted when he spots Ten coming over to them, a bright smile on his lips. Taeyong thinks he knows the joy Ten must feel.

"You look gorgeous, Taeyong," Ten says while he pulls Taeyong into a brief hug. "As you should, you're the main man of the night, after all."

Cheeks still burning, Taeyong laughs as he shakes his head. "I really don't like all the attention, but I think it'll be great. You look amazing too, Tennie."

And he does. Ten's put on glitters on his face, twinkling when the light hits his skin and his eye makeup is extraordinary, highlighting the prominent cat-eyes shape, especially when he smiles. He carries himself with confidence too, as if he's at his prime, like a party is where he should be.

Taeyong admires it. 

"Where are Yuta and Mark?" Johnny asks, a hand of his at the small of Taeyong's back while the other briefly taps at Ten's shoulder. "Are they here yet?"

Ten shrugs a shoulder, "Mark is here with his parents but Yuta said they'd be a little late. He hasn't answered any of my texts though."

Taeyong watches as Johnny frowns. "Will you keep Taeyong company for a bit? I actually haven't seen my parents either," he says, and to Taeyong with a kiss on his forehead, "I'll be right back."

He nods and watches Johnny's back as he disappears around the corner. His attention is back on Ten when the other omega links their arms together, smiling still.

"How are you feeling?" Ten asks, his voice lowered as if he doesn't want anyone else to hear as they walk into the hall.

There are already a lot of guests enjoying refreshments prepared for them. It's an awe how the place could transform from a normal (albeit luxurious) home into an event set over the night. Taeyong would have to thank the helpers. 

He smiles, however, at Ten's question. "A little confused? It's sudden. But I'm sure it'll play out nicely."

"I wish to have your positivity," Ten says, his smile is gone but he keeps his arm linked over Taeyong's. "Johnny's parents treat me like their son but they frown upon the fact that Yuta and I have always had a thing going since high school. They're adamant about Yuta and Johnny mating, so are Yuta's parents. When my mom received the invitation yesterday, I found it hard to believe it's for a casual get-together. And then Johnny tells us it's to welcome you and it just… No offense, Taeyong, it doesn't make sense."

Taeyong listens to this carefully, eyes scanning the room full of people he doesn't know and wondering if he should be as worried as Ten. He was last night, when the thoughts kept him up, but this morning he'd felt invincible. 

Ten has a point, though.

"I don't want to upset them," Taeyong says as he turns to face the other omega. "I guess we'll just have to see where this goes? I can't think of any other way to stop it."

Ten purses his lips. His smile is sympathetic and he raises a hand to pat at Taeyong's cheek. His eyes are a little sad too and Taeyong has a feeling they share a mutual feeling of being perpetually unaccepted by the people who should. It makes him a little sad and when he pulls Ten into his arms, Taeyong closes his eyes and wishes, if he couldn't find his happiness, that this stranger he wants to call a friend would find his.

"Am I missing some very much needed omega club hug?" A voice breaks them apart and Taeyong pulls away to see that it's Yuta, a smile on his lips as his arms spread out, welcoming them in. Taeyong grins and both he and Ten fall into Yuta's arms. "That's more like it."

They pull away with smiles on their lips, not full ones that should reach their eyes but a smile still. 

Their attention is steered away by a clink to a glass, demanding their time. Taeyong turns to find that it's Johnny, announcing to everyone present to be seated at their dining hall. Yuta and Ten excuse themselves and Taeyong watches as they head towards the dining hall, waiting for Johnny to reach him before they could go together.

"Nervous?" Johnny asks, an arm curling around Taeyong's waist as he leads them to the hall.

Taeyong nods, Ten's words repeating in his head. "A little."

Johnny rubs at his arm and presses a kiss to his temple. It's small but it helps Taeyong's nerves. Over at table, Johnny pulls his seat for him. It's enough to fit over twenty people and Mr Suh is seated at the head while his wife sits by his right and Johnny his left, with Taeyong next to him.

To Taeyong's left, Ten is seated with his parents. He sees Mark and his family next to Yuta's and the rest are people Taeyong doesn't know. Mr and Mrs Suh are smiling, a rare sighting, but maybe not to the rest of them.

"We've come to gather today as family," Mr Suh says. His smile reminds Taeyong of Johnny's. "No matter the blood relations or name, I have considered all of you as my own flesh and blood. And as a family, we are united. I have good news to share with everyone of you."

Everyone is smiling but they stay silent out of respect. Taeyong's heart beats crazily against his chest, only calms a tad when Johnny gives his hand a squeeze under the table.

Mr Suh continues, "It's with great honor that I say this to you, I've decided to step down and hand over the company to my one and only son, the new head alpha of the pack, John."

Taeyong's eyes widen in surprise but it seems even Johnny had been clueless. He's stunned, Taeyong notes, but there's a slow smile that curls at his lips as Taeyong squeezes his hand. There are cheering no doubt coming from his friends and the cousins he'd once mentioned. Taeyong's own cheeks hurt from grinning, happy for Johnny. 

"And, with that," Mrs Suh takes over, her smile eerily chilly. "We also would like to officially welcome a special someone into the family, a new member of the Suh pack."

It's Johnny who smiles at Taeyong now and the omega returns it. He looks up at Mrs Suh just as she continues.

"Our Johnny will mate and marry Yuta, that would make him a proud addition to the family."

Taeyong's smile drops. The table is silent. Johnny's chair scraps over the floor when he stands up but Taeyong's heart is beating too loudly to hear anything else. Beside him, Ten's shoulders slump, his head dipped low. 

"Ma, I thought we discussed this? I already have a mate and I plan to marry him," Johnny says, sounding calm despite the redness in his ears, an indication that he's angry. 

"Sit down, John," Mr Suh said, clearly upset that the entire table is now no longer nodding in congratulations. "A head alpha can mate multiple omegas, to make a pack and prolong the pack's name and life. You are head alpha now, and we know you'll make us proud, son."

 _Ah, of course_. It never occurred to Taeyong that being head alpha would come with all the other responsibilities. Johnny must have forgotten and when reminded, he looks dejected, at loss of words to say. Taeyong feels a little sick in his stomach and his vision spins.

What has he done in a past life to deserve such fate?

His face burns red, humiliated over the fact that he'd been foolish enough to think he would ever be accepted and embarrassed that everyone must _know_ that he's the mate Johnny's parents refused to welcome and acknowledge.

Next to him, Ten sits stiff and across the table, Yuta is glaring at his empty plate. Mark looks confused but Taeyong doesn't look past him to see what everyone else looks like. Nausea builds in his stomach like something ugly, rising up to his throat and threatening to spill. He grips at the arm of the chair, heaving, but someone's spoken up to congratulate and the crowd is noisy again. No one sees him, not even Johnny.

"Taeyong?" It's Ten who notices. Taeyong wonders how horrible he must look now. "Taeyong, are you okay?"

His question brought Johnny's attention on Taeyong, who's struggling to keep it down. His head is spinning, throbbing and he thinks he would be okay but then Johnny says his name, soft and sorry and _Johnny._

Taeyong doubles over and _retches._


	8. eight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was never his job, but Johnny can't keep him safe anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 8 is here!! to anyone that's probably confused, ive compiled all the parts into a chaptered story so it'll be easier for future readers to read! plus im planning to add a prequel and a bonus part after all 12 chapters are posted. thank you all!!
> 
> this chapter is pretty.. sad, i think? brace yourselves.

It's Yukhei that he calls that night, after he recovers from the shock of everything and no longer feels like puking his guts out. The sudden nausea has no explanation but Taeyong assumes it was because he had gone a full day without food in his system and all the stress had triggered it.

He tried to call Doyoung but he was sent directly to voicemail and a look at the clock tells him that Doyoung is probably still asleep and enjoying his Sunday. Taeyong hasn't cried since whatever had gone down at dinner but now as he speaks to Yukhei, he feels like he might break.

"Take deep breaths, okay?" Yukhei is telling him and Taeyong nods as if the young alpha could see him. "Follow me? Inhale, exhale. Deep breaths, hyung."

Taeyong follows, closing his eyes as he's perched against the railing in the balcony, breathing in and out to Yukhei's count. When his breathing is calmer, his eyes open and he doesn't feel like he would cry but his chest still hurts. 

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Taeyong says, reaching to turn on the balcony light. He glances at the door but Johnny is still gone. "I just- I really need to be with someone right now."

Yukhei doesn't hesitate when he speaks. "No, hey, it's okay. I'm up for a run anyway. I'm here, okay?"

Taeyong nods. There is silence that follows while Taeyong's head replays everything that had unfolded at the dining table, with everyone there to witness. He feels his lips quiver and then the first roll of his tears down his cheeks.

"Everything is so fucked up, Xuxi," He chokes out, fingers shaking before he balls them into a fist, sniffling. "I'm embarrassed. My alpha's parents want him to mate someone else. I'm not wanted here. I'm not welcomed."

Yukhei is quiet for a moment but when he speaks again, his voice is soft. "Do you remember when you left for college and we used to video call each other every time you get stressed out with school work?"

"Yeah?"

"Well," Yukhei clears his throat. "Maybe that'll help you feel like I'm there, or you're here, whichever. What do you think?"

Taeyong softens, sniffling again as he wipes at his cheeks. He nods even though he knows Yukhei couldn't see. "I would love that a lot."

They hang up after deciding who should make the call and then Taeyong waits for the phone to ring. It doesn't take long for Yukhei to call him again and this time, he answers to a video of Yukhei all the way from the other side of the world. It hits him that it's been too long since they hung out.

Yukhei's hair is kept black and short, just as Taeyong remembered it. He has his toothy grin plastered over his face and the lights behind him indicate that the sun has barely risen. He's wearing his t-shirt Taeyong recognized, one he usually wears when he goes for his morning run.

"You look like you ran out of your own wedding, hyung," Yukhei jokes with a laugh, prompting Taeyong to mirror it before he continues. "Seriously, you look amazing but like, your makeup's ruined."

Taeyong sniffs, realizing he never bothered washing up before Yukhei called. "Well, I did just vomit at a family dinner in front of Johnny's parents, who hate me, by the way, and about twenty other people. I feel like shit."

"Whoa, you threw up?" Yukhei frowns, "That bad, hyung?"

He's almost embarrassed but this is Yukhei and Yukhei is the only other person besides Johnny who knows Taeyong this intimately, not even Doyoung. "I think I was just.. I guess I didn't have anything to eat and that might have been it. And everything that happened was horrible."

"What exactly happened?"

Taeyong sighs and he doesn't hesitate to spill his heart out, recalling everything that had happened from the moment he woke up to this point in time. Yukhei listens without giving any sort of reaction at first, simply sitting wherever he is while Taeyong talks until the sun is higher up behind him, to which Yukhei shifts to face the light so Taeyong could see his face. When Taeyong is finished, Yukhei sighs.

"My parents would have loved you," Yukhei says finally in what Taeyong knows is an attempt to make him smile.

It works. Taeyong shakes his head. "You don't even know your parents."

Yukhei shrugs, "They would have anyway. Anyone would have. Johnny loves you, right? His parents would too, if they aren't so far up their own asses."

_ Johnny loves you, right?  _ Does he, though? Taeyong purses his lips, raising a hand to brush his hair back. "I don't- I don't know if he does. It feels like he does but he's never said it."

The younger boy smiles at him. Taeyong wishes so badly to be wrapped up in his arms, if only to make himself feel guarded and save from the cruelty the world brings. Yukhei cleats his throat then, looking sheepish but also nervous.

"What's up, Xuxi?"

Yukhei shakes his head, "It's nothing. I just sometimes think, like, letting you go was my biggest mistake."

Taeyong blinks. That's new and all he could think about is how Jungwoo would feel if he knew what Yukhei truly feels. "Yukhei, what made you say that? What about Jungwoo?"

The young alpha winces, looking away from the screen for a moment. "I've got a lot to tell you, hyung. But I think those are stories I should tell you when you're home. So come home, okay? We all miss you here."

He searches Yukhei for any sign that could tell what truly is happening with him but he's tired and his eyes are dry and sore and he's nauseous again, although not as bad as before. The guilt of being absent in his friends' lives is eating him up inside. While Yukhei had listened to him, had he once asked if everything is alright with the younger?

He doesn't even remember if Doyoung had told him how he was doing when they were on the phone last. He's terrible and selfish and he'd abandoned  _ home _ for something that has hurt him over and over again. 

"Xuxi?" He says, earning Yukhei's attention once again as their eyes meet through the screens of their phones. "You can tell me everything when I'm home, okay? I should be very soon. I have to get out of here."

Yukhei nods and he looks like he wants to pull Taeyong into his arms and Taeyong has to bite back the little sob clocked up in his throat. Yukhei's smile is wide, his eyes kind. "We'll all be waiting right here."

"Thank you," Taeyong croaks out, a hand flying up to wipe at the tears that fall down his cheeks. "For listening to me. I know things between us drifted a little bit after, y'know, everything and I wish I didn't let it go on for so long. I should have been more happy for you and Jungwoo. But all I'm good at is running away and not saying anything about what's bothering me. I'm sorry, Xuxi."

The alpha shakes his head. How long have they been talking? Taeyong doesn't want to look at the clock. Yukhei purses his lips, "I don't blame you for anything, hyung. I knew I kinda fucked up what we had when I chose Jungwoo so I understand that made you distant. I must have hurt you. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted, but I must have. So, I'm sorry too. I have regrets."

Taeyong frowns, "Don't say that, Xuxi. Please don't hurt Jungwoo."

"No, I-" Yukhei stutters, running a hand down his face. "Jungwoo and I have been b-"

"Taeyong?"

Johnny's voice interrupts what Yukhei is about to tell him and Taeyong turns to find his alpha at the doorway, looking small and tired and almost half as bad as Taeyong feels inside. He turns back to his phone, finding Yukhei's questioning look.

"Johnny's here," Taeyong says. "I have to go talk to him."

Yukhei nods, "We'll talk soon then?"

"Soon," Taeyong agrees and he lets Yukhei end the call as he abandons his phone on the lounge chair to step back into the room.

He realized he's still in the clothes Johnny had gotten him, thankfully not smelling like vomit. He planned to stand by the bed but the sudden dizziness has him sitting down, feeling absolutely horrible inside and out. He wonders what he should say or if he should say anything. Should he apologize for getting sick? Mr and Mrs Suh must be horrified that their dinner was disrupted that way. 

Deciding to let Johnny be the first to speak, Taeyong stares up at the ceiling and wishes he's just the tiny dot that sits at the corner for the otherwise flawless, spotless room. Even the dot has a place in this house. He wouldn't know how that feels. It almost made him laugh.

"I'm sorry about what happened," Johnny starts.

It makes Taeyong angry suddenly. He knows there isn't much Johnny could do but he didn't want to hear an apology that wouldn't do anything to change the situation. He clenches his jaw and he recalls his conversation with Yukhei about how he never says what's bothering him and he thinks it should really, really change. 

"I don't think I need your apology," Taeyong says quietly, staring at his feet and the floor beneath them. "I'm not confrontational, Johnny. I'm quiet and most of the time I  _ tolerate,  _ but I'm not stupid. I have pride and dignity. I don't want to stay where I'm not wanted, I don't want to let these people hurt me over and over again. I won't let them."

Johnny advances towards him, "I know. I'm sorry. I'll talk to them, okay? I'll tell them there's no way I'd ever marry Yuta."

"That's not the only thing, Johnny," Taeyong snaps, standing up so he could properly face the alpha. "It's one thing to want you to mate and marry someone of their choice, it's another to go out of their way just so they could humiliate me in front of all your family and friends. What was the point of that? Do they want me out of the picture so badly? Because I'll go. I will go. I don't care if it means they get what they want, I won't subject myself to living like this."

Panic flickers across Johnny's eyes and he closes the space between them, hands taking Taeyong's trembling ones. "Don't go, baby. Please. I just- I don't want to lose you. I want  _ you _ . Shouldn't that matter the most?"

"It does," Taeyong nods, angrily wiping at the stupid tears that stain his cheeks. "It matters so much, Johnny. But I hate it here. I hate it. I've felt more love living in the home than here. I want to go home."

"Okay, okay," Johnny nods, pulling Taeyong into his arms and squeezing him gently. "I'll book a hotel for you, or something. I was gonna tell you this after dinner but I got you your ticket home. The earliest I could find is next weekend, though. I know you miss home."

Taeyong nods, softening at this as he buries his face into Johnny's chest, feeling broken inside. "Thank you. I do miss it. It hurts, Johnny. It hurts everywhere."

Johnny squeezes him, a little harder this time. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Let's get you packed up and we can go crash somewhere, okay?"

It doesn't take Taeyong long to pull away, more than happy and ready to pack his things and leave the house. Johnny helps him silently, his features void of any emotions, like he's put up a wall so Taeyong can't read him. He considers probing into his head but he wouldn't like it if Johnny did the same so Taeyong drops it in favor of stuffing his clothes into his bag, making sure he's gotten his passport too. 

When they are done, his eyes still swollen, Taeyong doesn't look back as he climbs into Johnny's car.

He won't miss this place.

  
  


* * *

  
  


"I hope it's okay if you could stay at Ten's for a little bit," Johnny says as he drives, his voice strained. "I just figured it'd be safer for you to be with someone while I figure things out with my parents. I don't want you alone in a hotel room."

Taeyong looks over at Johnny but the alpha doesn't meet his gaze. He feels a little like a burden now and hopes Ten doesn't mind. "He doesn't mind?"

"He suggested it," Johnny says, focusing on the road. "They were asking if you're okay so I updated them about moving you to a hotel room for the night but Ten has his own place so he offered. That okay?"

With a nod, Taeyong looks out the window and leans back against his seat. For the first time since he'd been in this black convertible, Johnny has the hood on and Taeyong can't feel the wind on his skin. He doesn't have the energy to ask for it.

The drive is quiet after that. Taeyong feels icky in his clothes and he rehearses with himself how he would ask Ten if he could use the bathroom. They might share similar situations but Ten is still very much a stranger to Taeyong. 

He falls asleep in the car, head leaning against the window and startling awake when the car stops. Groggy and exhausted, Taeyong looks around to register where he's at until he remembers that he isn't in Seoul and everywhere he goes wouldn't feel familiar anyway. 

He steps out of the car without waiting for Johnny to open the door for him. The alpha seems to startle at the change but he doesn't say anything as he helps carry Taeyong's bags before he leads the omega through the apartment's lobby, straight to the elevator. 

They don't speak on the way up. Taeyong doesn't try to make small conversations; he's too wound up and tired and hurt because even though Johnny had apologized and made sure all of this is possible for him, he isn't certain Johnny would stop his parents from hurting his feelings again.

It was never his job, but Johnny can't keep him safe anymore.

Ten doesn't take long to open the door once they get to his unit. He smiles at Taeyong and pulls him into a hug before he takes Taeyong's bags from Johnny, who makes an attempt to go in but the other omega stops him.

"I think Taeyong should get his rest, John," Ten says. There's something almost poisonous in his voice, like he's just as upset as Taeyong is. "I'll take care of him. I promise."

Johnny looks torn but in the end decides to leave a kiss onto Taeyong's temple, one that he doesn't lean into. Taeyong steps into the apartment and shoots Johnny a brief smile but he doesn't wait for Johnny to go and neither does Ten when he closes the door. 

He'll feel guilty later, but now he'll succumb to his own broken heart.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Sleep was horrible that night and it's partly because he's never been a good sleeper, especially at a foreign place but mostly because his thoughts are full of everything that had happened, from the day he'd accidentally walked into Johnny's hotel room to now.

His nausea came and went throughout the night and at multiple points in the night, he'd had to run out of the spare room he was sleeping in to the washroom. He isn't sure if he has woken Ten up but he hopes he hasn't.

He's up first in the morning, at seven precisely, and because Ten had told him to feel at home, Taeyong had made himself a cup of coffee and prepared breakfast for Ten to repay his kindness. Or he'd tried to, at least until he realized the smell of those bacon strips makes him want to throw up again.

They were butchered so he ended up throwing them away, guiltily so, because it wasn't his food but to have Ten have it in that condition is almost offensive. 

The scrambled eggs would probably be cold by the time Ten gets up, if he isn't a morning person. Taeyong spends the morning out in the balcony that's extended from the living room. It's smaller than the one of Johnny's bedroom but the view is still pretty and Taeyong could see the sun rising.

The clock reads nine in the morning when Taeyong hears a couple of knocks at the door. He waits for a second to see if Ten would get it but when there's no sound coming from Ten's room, Taeyong goes to see who might be visiting so early in the morning. 

It's Johnny, when he looks through the peephole. He opens the door quietly and flashes the alpha a smile before he lets him in. 

"Where's Ten?" Johnny asks as he steps inside. He leaves the door open.

Taeyong takes a seat on the couch. "He's in his room."

As if on cue, the door to Ten's room opens and out comes said omega, already dressed and ready for the day. Taeyong must not have heard him move about inside. He's barely surprised when he finds Johnny though he does smile at Taeyong. 

"I'm heading to work," Ten says, walking into the kitchen and finding the breakfast Taeyong had prepared. He stuffs the egg into his mouth and to Taeyong, he says; "Let me know what you want for dinner, okay? I'll grab something on the way."

Taeyong nods with a smile only because Ten is already rushing out of the apartment after giving Johnny a brief half hug, leaving him and Johnny alone once again.

"How are you feeling?" Johnny asks, sitting himself next to Taeyong and wrapping his arm around the omega's shoulders. "Did you manage to sleep?"

Taeyong shakes his head, shifting his body enough to wrap his arms around Johnny's torso, face into his neck. He inhales the familiar citrus and seawater scent, laced with the mahogany cologne Johnny, for some reason, likes to put on. "I felt nauseous the entire night. It kept me awake."

"Still nauseous? Should we get you checked up, baby?"

"No," Taeyong murmurs, eyes closed as he loses himself in Johnny's warm and familiar embrace. "I'm fine. I didn't eat last night so that must have been it. I ate earlier though."

It's a lie but he doesn't want Johnny to worry about him when he has other things to worry about. Johnny toys with his hair, brushing his lips over Taeyong's forehead. "I couldn't sleep either. Couldn't stop thinking about you."

Taeyong smiles, keeping his eyes closed. "I'm okay, Johnny. I'm just a little hurt. How is everything going?"

"They refused to listen to me," Johnny says, sighing. "But I'm planning to sit them down today. I shouldn't have to mate with multiple omegas when my father didn't. I'll reason with them."

"Thank you," Taeyong murmurs, pulling away to look up into Johnny's eyes. "I'm sorry if I've been a burden."

Johnny frowns, cupping Taeyong's cheeks. "Hey, no. You're not. I want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want to love you for however long I get to live. Just you."

He doesn't want to cry again so Taeyong only nods and buries himself into Johnny's chest. They stay that way for another hour, stealing kisses occasionally before Johnny says he has to get to the office for a meeting. 

And then he was gone.

Taeyong spends the rest of the day watching whatever show is on TV, texting Doyoung and Yukhei before they go to bed. He updates Doyoung about everything but Yukhei mainly sends him videos of puppies and kittens. It helps him smile.

The frustration truly builds when he feels a sudden craving for a damn burger. He doesn't usually eat burgers, it's more of a Yukhei thing whenever they used to order food back in the day, and he finds it odd now because of how random this craving is. 

It's nearly six in the evening when Ten finally calls him.

"Hey, Yongie! I'm out of the office now so I thought of getting dinner," Ten says, sounding chirpier than he did in the morning. "Feel like eating anything?"

The way Taeyong is quick to blurt this out is almost embarrassing. Almost. "I feel like getting a burger."

"Ooh," Ten coos. "Would you like to meet me downstairs? We have a nearby joint that I'd personally recommend. Plus I think we both need some fresh air."

Taeyong is more than happy to agree, "I'll be down in ten."

Ten is already outside of the building when Taeyong got downstairs, having thrown on a pair of jeans and Johnny's hoodie he might have stolen when he packed up.  _ Borrowed  _ is a better word. He's pretty sure Johnny wouldn't mind.

He's smiling when he reaches Ten, whose lips are curled into a mirrored one as he lifts his head from his phone screen. Taeyong sucks his teeth, teasing. "Was that Yuta?"

Ten scoffs, but the pinks in his cheeks confirmed it. "Maybe. Let's go get that burger craving of yours satisfied."

  
  


* * *

  
  


There is nothing graceful about the way Taeyong devours the burger as soon as it was brought to his table. He's not  _ starving _ , he's had lunch but it's the way his stomach grumbles that makes biting into the soft bun and beef patty an almost mind blowing experience. 

He's never craved anything this bad.

Ten doesn't say anything as he eats, slower than Taeyong, but without any judgment, simply enjoying his meal. Taeyong finishes his burger first before attacking his fries. By the time he's finished, the nausea returns and he whines.

"Hey, what's up?" Ten asks, a frown on his forehead as he pops a single fry into his mouth. "Want more?"

Taeyong shakes his head, "God, no. I'm just nauseous. It's been going on since last night. And now that I'm actually eating something I wanted to eat, it's back."

Ten studies him for a moment. "Are you, like, pregnant?"

"What?" Taeyong flushes, cheeks burning. "I don't think so.. It's only been a week since Johnny's rut."

The other omega shrugs, "Almost three since you guys mated though? Some of us could get knocked up in two weeks. Some lesser. Do you feel dizzy?"

Taeyong stares at his empty burger wrap and the box of fries he'd finished in less than five minutes. He thinks about the throbbing in his head and the throwing up. He recalls learning about the omega body back in school, how his kind could get pregnant easier and get the symptoms of pregnancy much earlier than a normal human. 

It makes his head spin thinking about the possibility of it. He had been elated back when he was in heat during Johnny's rut. Now he feels that disappointing disappointment.

"I don't- I don't know," He shakes his head, feeling a little more sick now than satisfied. His palm presses against his belly. "I'm kind of hoping that's not it."

Ten sighs, closing his hand around Taeyong's that is on the table. "I understand. It's a scary thing. You should get it checked, though. Just to be careful."

Taeyong nods, lips pursed. There's sadness in his chest over the fact that their situation makes having a baby something to worry about, so he hopes it's just some type of food poisoning or him being stressed out. 

The younger omega stands up without finishing his food. "Come, let's go get you a test kit and we can see what it is when we're home."

"But you haven't finished your food."

Ten waves it off. "I'm full. Plus, I'm kind of excited now."

Taeyong flushes again and he lets Ten pull him out of the joint to head towards the nearest convenience store. He grabs a box of pregnancy test kit off the shelf hastily and pays for it just as quickly only to have Ten drop another box for him to pay for.  _ 'Double check' _ , Ten mouths at him. 

Once back at the apartment, Ten hurries him into the washroom and insists that he'll wait right outside the door. It touches Taeyong still, how close he feels to Ten despite having just known him. It makes him feel as though he's back home, except Doyoung would be standing inside with him.

Taking the test is nerve wrecking. It isn't the first time he has taken it; back when Yukhei had helped him with his heats, he'd constantly checked in case he'd gotten knocked up, especially after Yukhei said his feelings weren't mutual. 

But the nerves with him now feel different. He's having mixed feelings. On the one hand, no omega wouldn't want a child with their mated alpha but on the other, Taeyong isn't confident they would even make it far, despite their bond. 

The last thing he wants is for his child to be put up in the system, like he was, should his time come early. It's always a possibility and it scares him more than he thought it would.

He uses both the pregnancy sticks and spends a little too long waiting for the results to show up. His fingers drum upon the surface of the sink in the bathroom, staring at his own reflection. His cheeks are a little sunken, dark circles under his eyes. He doesn't remember looking like this before Ibiza.

He needs to go home. 

"Everything okay in there?" Ten's voice rings through the silence, muffled by the door between them. 

Taeyong shudders, suddenly cold. He goes to open the door and Ten looks at him expectantly. "I haven't seen it. I'm nervous."

"Do you wanna see it together?" 

He nods, stepping aside to allow Ten to come into the bathroom as well. They both stare at the sticks on the sink counter, turned upside down so they don't see the results yet. Taeyong's heart is pounding against his chest. He wishes Johnny is here but the idea of Johnny knowing makes him even more nervous than he is now.

"Okay," Ten says, clearing his throat. "You flip one and I flip the other. Deal?"

"Okay," Taeyong nods again. "On three, two, one.."

They both turn the test sticks at the same time. Taeyong sees two lines on the one he's holding, another two on the one Ten is holding up. His heart stops beating for a second. 

He doubles over and throws up whatever food he'd gotten into his system today.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ten is a sweetheart. Taeyong couldn't have meant this much to him but he didn't look repulsed when Taeyong was retching, instead he'd stayed behind and patted Taeyong's back, even helped him clean up before he went to grab a glass of water for Taeyong to have. 

After, with the sticks carefully stored away, still in the bathroom, Taeyong sits with Ten next to him on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket that they share. He feels cold and hot at the same time. There's life in his body but he couldn't even manage his own. The thought is depressing.

The question sits in the middle of the room like a giant elephant. Ten doesn't ask it yet, but Taeyong knows he's thinking it.  _ Is he going to tell Johnny? _ Taeyong doesn't know.

Eventually, Ten asks, "Do you plan on telling Johnny?"

Taeyong leans his head back, staring up at the ceiling. "I will have to, one way or another, right?"

The other omega shrugs, "I guess, especially if you guys are gonna stick together. I'm just a little disappointed in him."

The confession doesn't surprise Taeyong; it's clear in the way Ten refused to give Johnny the time of day. "Why's that?"

Ten looks at him, frowning, "There were a million other ways to stand up for your pride and dignity at last night's dinner. But he's always been a mama's boy and that hasn't been a bad thing until he forgets what's right to do and what's not."

Taeyong listens, eyes on the loose thread at the edges of the blanket as Ten continues. "He's good, Taeyong. He's every parents' dream boy kind of good. He always listens to his folks. He lives to make them proud and it has been that way since we were kids. He doesn't know how to not do it their way. I wouldn't expect so much."

"Are you saying I shouldn't hope to be with him?" Taeyong asks gingerly, afraid of the answer.

Ten shakes his head, "No, I'm not saying that. I think he loves you. I think he just doesn't know how to say no to his parents. They want Yuta for him. I won't be surprised if he goes through with it."

A sob escapes Taeyong and he blinks hard. "I don't want to lose him."

"I don't want to lose Yuta either, Yongie. But ultimately it's both their choices. It doesn't matter how hard we fight for them. If they make a decision that isn't us, we're nothing."

Taeyong sighs, sniffling as he looks out the window. His vision is blurry and when he blinks, tears roll down his cheeks. He doesn't bother wiping them off. "I'll tell him when I'm ready."

Ten nods and then he pulls Taeyong into his arms. "You have friends back home, Taeyong?"

"Yeah," Taeyong squeaks, sniffling again as his own arms wind around the younger omega. "I do. They're waiting for me."

"Good," Ten hums, swaying them gently. "You'll need them."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Telling Doyoung about his pregnancy was not as hard as he had thought it would. What is hard, however, is listening to Doyoung spew profanity after profanity at Taeyong's possible in-laws and Johnny too, though the sweet praises he showered Ten with soothes out Taeyong's eardrum.

He makes Doyoung promise this would stay between them and their best friend pact agreement includes secrets being kept from even Doyoung's mate. He figures Jaehyun wouldn't really mind not knowing this anyway. 

There is no doubt Doyoung would fly out here if he had the means to and Taeyong would have loved it so much. Ten is good and healthy company, but he could never be Doyoung. He is going home soon, though, so it won't be long. 

"Please tell me you're coming home soon," Doyoung says when he finally stops ranting, fifteen minutes after Taeyong had called. "You have to. We'll take care of you here. I don't trust anyone there, especially not Johnny. And I think I'd rather be the one looking after you than Ten. I'm sure he has his own things to do."

Taeyong nods, "Yeah, no. I know. My flight is this Friday night. I'll probably get home while you're at work though, if you're in the office this Saturday."

Doyoung takes a moment to think, "Yeah, I will be. You're alright with getting home yourself?"

"Yes, I'll be fine, Doie. I miss you. We'll see each other soon, okay?"

The beta tells him to get a lot of sleep and eat well and he doesn't stop the reminders for at least another ten minutes. Before he hangs up, Doyoung reminds him to let Johnny know about the pregnancy, says Johnny deserves to know.

It's been two whole days since he'd taken the test. Johnny visits every day and they spent about an hour or two together but Taeyong had kept it to himself, nervous and afraid and simply not ready. He only has today and tomorrow before his flight home. He knows he has to tell Johnny soon. 

Alone in the apartment, Taeyong stays in the living room as he contemplates on how to tell Johnny. He wouldn't be off work until the evening and Taeyong doesn't know if he could wait that long. 

Without letting himself have second thoughts, Taeyong calls Johnny. He answers it at the second ring.

"Taeyong?" Johnny's voice permeates through the phone. "Are you okay?"

The concern in Johnny's voice moves him and he's dawned with the fact that he's going home tomorrow and god knows when he'll see Johnny again. "I'm okay, baby. I just- I need to talk to you about something."

A pause. "It can't wait?"

"I mean, sure," Taeyong shrugs. "But I might throw up again with all the anxiousness."

"Okay, okay," Johnny is thinking and Taeyong could almost hear the wheels of his brain. "Is it okay if you come down to my office? I have a meeting in five minutes but it should be done within the next hour. I'll have Mr Park drive you here."

Mr Park must be the chauffeur. Taeyong feels guilty he hadn't bothered learning their names. "Okay, thank you, Johnny. I'll see you soon."

"I love you, Taeyong," Johnny says and something gets caught in Taeyong's throat, hard as a rock. "I know I probably shouldn't say it through the phone but.. I do. And I missed you. So, come here soon, okay?"

The lump in his throat makes it hard to breathe but Taeyong managed to whisper it back, "I love you too."

And he does and nothing could change that. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Mr Park was already waiting when Taeyong finally finished getting ready and headed downstairs. The drive is quiet and Mr Park doesn't ask any questions, though Taeyong didn't miss the subtle looks of sympathy the chauffeur threw at him, possibly because of what happened last Sunday at dinner.

He doesn't know whether to appreciate it or feel pathetic. Maybe a little bit of both. 

The office building is massive, Taeyong notes when Mr Park drops him at the lobby. He's made to wait there because apparently Johnny had asked the chauffeur to bring Taeyong up all the way to his floor. It didn't occur to Taeyong that the Suhs are really this wealthy, but the name  _ 'Suh Corp'  _ behind the front desk is proof enough.

Why would Mr and Mrs Suh ever accept him? He doesn't even have a solid family background. It was never meant to happen, even if Yuta wasn't in the picture. 

Mr Park leads him up the elevator and the wait to the thirtieth floor, where Johnny's office must be, takes longer than Taeyong would have liked. He's jittery and nervous and his palms are clammy with sweat. His heart is beating a little too fast and he doesn't know how well or how bad this would all go. Would Johnny be happy? Would he be sad?

The anxiety makes Taeyong nauseous. 

Once on Johnny's floor, Taeyong is led to a lounge, a waiting area that's situated right in front of the main office. He smiles as soon as he sees Johnny through the blinder that's covering the glass wall. There's a secretary near the door and the lady smiles at Taeyong without stopping him when he approaches. 

The door is slightly ajar and he's about to push it open when he hears voices from within the room.

"No, Ma, I'm not going to marry Yuta, no matter what," Johnny is saying in a hushed voice and when Taeyong peeks, he could see Mrs Suh glaring at her son. "I love Taeyong. I want to marry Taeyong. No one else."

Taeyong leans against the wall and strains his ears to listen, even though he knows it isn't right to, even though he knows it would probably hurt him if he listens to what Johnny's mother would say to it. He expects a scolding but all he hears are sobs. He frowns, taking another peek.

"You show no gratitude towards us, Johnny," Mrs Suh is crying. "We're trying to save our family. Trying to prolong the Suh generation. You're the only Suh son left."

Johnny sighs. "I won't be. I'll marry Taeyong and we'll try for children. More than one, if that's what you're worried about. I won't be the last of us, Ma."

" _ Suh Corp _ is not going to last for very long without Nakamoto's share," Mr Suh makes his presence known, loud and clear. "The only way for us to secure their participation is to make sure you marry their son. It has been agreed upon years and years ago, John. We've always assumed you and Yuta are close, so it wouldn't be a problem."

Mrs Suh adds, "But then you brought home that boy and ruined everything. How could you possibly love him? You just met!"

"Is it true?" Johnny asks, seemingly ignoring what his mother had said. "About the bankruptcy? Are there no other ways for us to save the company?"

Taeyong watches as Mr Suh stands, shaking his head. "I've sat in this building hours past the time, thinking of ways to save  _ Suh Corp _ but the only one who could help us is Nakamoto. We need this, John. Please think about it."

The same, familiar lump forms in Taeyong's throat. He swallows it down and tells the secretary to tell Johnny that he isn't feeling well and has gone home. Downstairs, he's relieved to find Mr Park still waiting for him and he's glad the chauffeur doesn't ask as he climbs into the car. 

There's nothing more painful than having to hold back his tears in front of someone but he managed. The drive is too long and his chest hurts. Ten's words ring loud in his ears. Deep down, he knows Johnny would choose to save his family and Taeyong has no place in that decision.

Once at the apartment, he repeatedly thanks Mr Park, knowing it would be the last time he would see the man and he asks to tell all the other employees at the Suh house how grateful he is for all their kindness. Mr Park is flabbergasted but he nods and promises to deliver. 

In his room, Taeyong tucks himself under the blanket and keeps the blinders drawn shut to keep the lights out. He's still in the clothes he was in when he went out, too heavy to change into home clothes. He pretends to be asleep when Ten knocks on his door to check on him, he ignores Doyoung's and Yukhei's calls, he doesn't answer any of Johnny's texts and when Johnny opens the door to his room, he closes his eyes and refuses to acknowledge him.

Johnny spoons him in bed, strong arms holding Taeyong close to his chest. He wishes Johnny wouldn't hear him cry but his shoulders shake as he sobs and Johnny holds him tighter, closer, kisses him as if it would make it go away.

But it wouldn't. His fate is final.

He would have to take care of this baby alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any thoughts? leave yours in the comments!


	9. nine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then again, Johnny's baby lives inside him and it's more than Taeyong could ask for. He touches his stomach, still flat for now and he couldn't deny the little excitement he feels. Maybe it'll be okay, he thinks. Maybe he can do it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter nine.. it's here.. don't be too mad at me! (pls know i thrive on the taste of your tears.. kidding, kidding). if you're mad, at least we get a johnny pov in the next chapter?? enjoy!

Taeyong wakes up the next morning with a killer headache. His temples throb and his stomach feels nauseous but there is only one thing he could think of and it's that he needs to pack the last of his things before his flight tonight.

He's glad there's only one suitcase, since he hadn't brought too many clothes for his vacation in Ibiza. He sits up slowly, groaning at the throbbing in his head before he leans back and takes in his surroundings. He's only been in Ten's spare room for a couple of nights, but he might miss it.

With a sigh, he climbs off the bed and grabs his half-filled suitcase. Most of his things are already packed up, save for his make up bag and skincare products, the clothes he'd put in the wash and the cat plushie Johnny won for him.

He stares at the tiny toy, the corner of his lips tugged up into a smile. It's painful to think it'd be one of the only things that has to do with Johnny, once he's home and no longer here.

Then again, Johnny's baby lives inside him and it's more than Taeyong could ask for. He touches his stomach, still flat for now and he couldn't deny the little excitement he feels. Maybe it'll be okay, he thinks. Maybe he can do it alone.

He places the toy into the suitcase, sitting it nice at the corner before he gets off the bed to grab his things on the vanity. The door cracks open and Taeyong raises his head to see that Johnny hasn't left. The lightness of not having anything to worry about disappears, replaced with the weight of everything that is wrong. 

"You up?" Johnny asks even though he's already seen Taeyong up and about. "Can we talk?"

Taeyong inhales deeply. He nods and gestures for Johnny to sit. He takes a glimpse of himself in the mirror; his eyes are swollen and his hair is a mess but he doesn't care. There are more things on his mind than worrying about how he looks in front of Johnny. Johnny who's seen almost all of him.

Almost.

"I'm not sure how much you've heard yesterday," Johnny starts, taking Taeyong's hand to sit next to him.

Taeyong swallows, "I think I heard everything."

Johnny's mouth parts and then he sighs, running a hand down his face. "I figured you would have. Wendy said you were there for a bit. I just… I don't know what to say."

"I don't either, Johnny. I think you're the only one who has to make a decision. I'm not going to make you choose."

The alpha looks at him. He looks resigned, defeated, as if there's no fight in him anymore and Taeyong's afraid he's already decided. He had expected, but it still hits him hard.

"I can't let my father's life work go down the drain when I have the means to help him," Johnny says slowly, either to soften the blow or to help himself, Taeyong doesn't know. "It's the only way… But at the same time I want you to still be a part of my life. I want you to stay."

Taeyong frowns, genuinely confused and on the verge of having his heart broken again. He could almost taste the pain. "What does that mean, Johnny?"

"I meant that," Johnny swallows, as if afraid what he says next would ruin everything. "I would like it if you could stay and still be with me while I do my duty as a son."

It's getting increasingly hard to breathe so Taeyong had to stand. "And what is your duty?"

Johnny's gaze follows him, jaw clenched. "To marry Yuta and save my father's business."

Taeyong laughs. He laughs because he doesn't know whether to cry or to scream or to break down right then and there. He clenches his jaw, pacing, before he turns to face Johnny. It's a slap to his face, like he's no more than a fucking mistress. 

He chokes on a sob, holding back his tears. "I can't believe you could screw me over like this, Johnny."

"What?" Johnny frowns, panicking. "What do you-"

"Asking me to still be your mate while you go ahead and marry Yuta? What do you think I am, Johnny?" Taeyong spits. "I know it's common for a head alpha to mate multiple omegas. But I can't do that. I'm sorry. I can't sit here and sleep while you're with another one of your mates. I'm going to go crazy. And I'm going to hate my life and I know I don't have plans with what the hell I'm going to do but I know as all hell that I don't want this. I don't want to share you."

Johnny stands as well and his height looms over Taeyong. "So you're going to leave me? You're just going to end everything?"

"Put yourself in my place, Johnny, for  _ once _ ," Taeyong says, holding his ground. "How would you feel if I told you I'm mating another fucking alpha? How would you feel if I told you right now that I'm going back to one of my bestest friends because he's an alpha and it's what's best? You'd want to kill him, won't you? The same goes, Johnny. It  _ hurts  _ and you can't blame me for not agreeing with this."

It's like Taeyong had been a running pipe his entire life and someone's broken him in two and now everything he had ever felt pours right out of him endlessly. It's in his words and the way his tears still adamantly rain down his cheeks. 

Johnny's shoulders slump, his eyes dark and sad and hopeless. They're hopeless and Taeyong knows no matter how hard he fights, Johnny's decision is final. Johnny stares at his feet, his voice low. "So what now?"

_ What now?  _ Taeyong doesn't know. It's at the tip of his tongue, the fact that he's carrying Johnny's baby. But his ego screams at him that he doesn't want to be cared for because there's a  _ baby,  _ that he doesn't want Johnny to make a change in his decision because of the child and not because he wants to. It doesn't matter anyway, does it? He has no place here.

"I'm going home tonight," Taeyong says, exhausted and feeling a little faint. He sits down just to be careful. His eyes search for Johnny's but the alpha doesn't meet his gaze. "You know where I'll be. You know where to find me."

When Johnny doesn't say anything, Taeyong adds, "I need to be alone for now, Johnny. I have to pack. I have to get ready. I wanna have dinner with Ten for the last time. He's been good to me."

Johnny nods, slowly, before he steps closer, bending down just enough to press a kiss onto the top of Taeyong's head. He has to bite back a sob and force himself not to beg Johnny to stay or follow him back home. He doesn't and Johnny leaves without another word, just his haunting scent lingering behind. Even that is going to fade in time.

Taeyong stares at the door Johnny closed and somewhere deep in his heart, he wishes Johnny would come back. But he doesn't and Taeyong doesn't start packing until he's done crying into the pillow, alone again.

  
  


* * *

  
  


There is only so much makeup could do to cover up the way his eyes are swelling from the amount of crying he'd done in the past few days. He doesn't even remember crying this much, not even when Yukhei had rejected him and moved on. Then again, back then, he'd expected it and he wasn't in love with Yukhei. 

Now, though, his love for Johnny is so palpable it almost feels as though he is made out of it. 

After he had packed everything, Taeyong had made sure to leave the room the way it had looked when he first came. He made the bed and drew the curtains back. He'd wanted to make sure it doesn't smell like him but it'll be awhile until his scent wears off. 

With the single suitcase he has, he cusses inwardly at how much heavier it had gotten and all the past weeks of moving about, he had Johnny to help carry it around. He's bitter and upset, though, and he doesn't want to love Johnny or need him so he huffs, putting the bag down by the door. 

It's only then that he noticed Ten on the couch, knees pulled up to his chest and he's sobbing. Taeyong moves immediately, going over to sit next to him and cradling the younger omega into his arms.

"Hey," Taeyong hushes, swaying them, a mirror of what Ten had done for him the night he found out he was pregnant. "Hey, Tennie. What's wrong, honey?"

Ten sniffles, "I'm sure you already know."

It registers within his head that it must have something to do with Johnny and Yuta agreeing to marry. In all his sadness, he'd forgotten that Ten would be affected too. But he'd cried it out for today and it's Ten's turn. 

"I'm sorry," He whispers, exhaling as his eyes closed. 

"I found this out last night," Ten explains, his voice shaking. "And I did something stupid, Taeyong. I'm so stupid."

Taeyong frowns, pulling back to look at his friend. "What do you mean? I'm sure it isn't stupid. Everyone of us cope differently. I know it must have hurt you."

Ten sniffles, using the sleeve of his sweater to wipe at his cheeks. And then Taeyong watches as he tugs down the neckline, revealing a familiar bond mark on his neck, one that is similar to the mark on Taeyong's, just a little smaller.

"You mated…?"

The younger omega nods, sniffling again. "I was so upset and Johnny was with you and I heard your sobs and I knew we were both feeling the same way. But I hate crying over my life, I hate it, Taeyong. I'd prefer to drink or dance it away so I called Mark and he kept me company while I fucking cried in front of him. And then he kissed me and I wanted him to. He's never believed Yuta and I had a solid thing anyway and when I asked him to mate me, he was so happy. And now I'm realizing how much of a mistake it was."

Taeyong processes this quietly. He isn't going to chastise Ten for making a mistake, especially not when he and Johnny had mated without thinking it through. Instead he cards his fingers through Ten's hair, feeling sad that he couldn't stay longer for his new friend. 

"Does anyone else know?" He asks.

Ten shakes his head, "I haven't spoken to Yuta after he told me. I told Mark not to tell anyone yet."

As if on cue, the doorbell rings and Taeyong gets up to get the door. Through the peephole, he sees Mark and he considers asking Ten if he should open the door but Ten is vulnerable and no matter how much of a mistake it was, Mark is still his alpha. He would never turn Mark away.

He opens the door and Mark smiles at him, looking sheepish. When the young alpha hears the sobs, his eyes widen in panic and Taeyong steps aside to let him in. He watches as Mark takes Ten into his arms and he contemplates leaving  _ early _ to give them some privacy but he doesn't know when he would see them again, if ever, and he doesn't want to go just yet.

"I think some fresh air would be nice for the three of us," Taeyong suggests and it's Ten that agrees almost immediately.

Mark offers to drive and Taeyong says goodbye to the home that had been the most welcoming here in Chicago.

  
  


* * *

  
  


They get McDonald's drive thru because Taeyong is craving burgers again and then Mark drives them to the beach because Ten loves beaches and the sea breeze calms him down. It's another thing Taeyong noticed they share in common. He wishes he doesn't have to leave Ten behind. 

The sun is setting quickly as Taeyong finishes his meal. His flight isn't for another four hours and Mark had offered to drive him to the airport, to which he thanked the alpha for multiple times. Johnny should be with him, but he isn't.

"What's with the burger cravings?" Mark asks casually.

It's a simple question but Taeyong feels himself flushing, thankful that the sky is already tinted orange enough for the colors in his cheeks to be visible. He doesn't mind telling Mark, that is if only Mark could keep it from Johnny, only so Taeyong could tell Johnny himself.

"Taeyong's pregnant," Ten answers for him. "But as my alpha, you're sworn to secrecy. No one else knows."

Mark's eyes widened. "Not even Johnny?"

Taeyong winces. "It's complicated. I'll tell him myself."

The alpha nods. Taeyong waits for some kind of disapproval but Mark only shrugs his shoulders. "What, are you two like, best friends now?"

Ten giggles at this, "Yeah, we omegas gotta stick together. We're not territorial like you alphas. Not everyone's trying to get your mate."

"Hey!" Mark says defensively, laughing. "It's not our fault you omegas are mad pretty, right? Plus all the alphas think they're superior or something, thinking they could get with anyone they want."

"Technically," Taeyong clears his throat. "They could. But it's all about the nature of the body, right?"

Mark laughs at this. Taeyong feels pride bloom in his chest; something about being liked by Johnny's friends still makes him happy and in little moments like this, Taeyong can't afford to be sad again. Even if there's nothing good in goodbyes.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny doesn't text or call him. 

He'll admit that he had expected a message or at least a call to see how he's doing but the only messages he'd gotten are from Doyoung, who tells him he'll probably be away when Taeyong gets home. At least there is the anticipation of being back where he's from; it makes him less sad.

They spend the next two hours driving around the city. Ten is laughing again and Taeyong doesn't have room to let his thoughts linger. Mark is good at keeping them distracted. 

They make a stop at Tavares, when Taeyong is attacked by a sudden craving for mint chocolate ice cream. He usually doesn't eat it voluntarily but tonight it's all he wants. Mark gets him a big bowl for the three of them to share and halfway through, Ten has to excuse himself to the washroom.

He leaves Mark and Taeyong to finish the bowl. There isn't any discomfort between the two of them but Taeyong is aware of how they never really had a proper conversation before. With Yuta, sure. And he's had dinner with Ten and cuddled with him for movies in the last week. 

It's Mark who speaks first, "Is it because you're scared Johnny doesn't want the baby?"

Taeyong looks up from his bowl, spoon in his mouth. He could tell Mark has been wanting to ask it for a while. "No, that's not it. We're in a complicated place, with him having to marry Yuta and everything. I couldn't find the right time."

"You know, I could help you. With the baby," Mark swallows, his leg bouncing on the ball of his foot, quickly scratching the side of his neck as he adds, "I dunno, it's alpha instinct."

The omega laughs, shaking his head as he places the spoon into the bowl. He's read about alphas' natural responses to omegas that are expecting without their own alpha to raise the baby with, so he isn't really surprised. "No, Mark. You have Ten now. You take care of him. I'll be fine."

Mark looks back in the direction of the washroom, as if to see if Ten is coming back anytime soon. "Ten doesn't love me, you know that, right? I know it was all an accident. I can't believe this is our life now."

Taeyong's smile falters, just a little bit. "It's pretty fucked up."

"Yeah," Mark laughs, but it isn't as loud anymore. His smile is almost sad. "I'm kinda sad you're leaving. Like, I know we're not tight but Johnny was a different kind of happy with you around. I've known him my whole life, don't think I've seen him smile like that."

Something in Taeyong's chest doubled in weight. He looks at the melted ice cream in his bowl and suddenly it's gross, so he pushes the bowl away from himself. He sighs, meeting Mark's gaze. "I'm glad I could make him happy like that. But I think he's already made his decision, Mark."

"It's stupid," Mark shakes his head, looking pissed as all hell. "The whole thing is stupid. Why can't we all just be happy, right? I'd be happy if Ten is happy, I don't care if it's with me or not."

Mark is kind, Taeyong knows that. He's in love and hurt and kind and young and Taeyong wants him to know that it'll be okay but he doesn't even know if it will. "You know, it all seems permanent now but, I know one day we'll look back and it'll seem like such a small thing."

"You believe that?"

Taeyong puffs out his cheeks. "It can't last forever, can it?"

"What's with the long faces?" Ten says as he drops himself down next to Mark. He must have come out of the washroom and Mark and Taeyong didn't notice. "Mark, did you say something?"

Mark looks flustered but Taeyong laughs it off, "No, no. We were just talking about everything. I think I've had too much mint chocolate. I might throw up."

"Mm," Ten moves, snaking out a few crumpled plastic bags and handing them over to Taeyong. "I stole some of these in case you needed to go in the car. It'll be quite a ride to the airport later."

He wants to blame it on his hormones, the baby growing inside him, Johnny, even, for the way he's quickly tearing up but Taeyong knows it's because he's moved and he is going to miss these new friends he never thought he would ever make. He's a little sad he couldn't say goodbye to Yuta.

Ten squeezes his shoulder. "You'll be okay, Yongie. You'll give your friends my number so they could contact me whenever you're having the baby, right? I swear I will fly all the way to Seoul to see a mini you."

Taeyong breaks then, bursting into a series of ugly sobs that both Ten and Mark help hide by pulling him into their arms. They let him cry like that for as long as he needs to and he doesn't think he could stop until he realizes that the cinnamon of Mark's scent makes him want to throw up. 

"I think I'm gonna hate cinnamon for like, the next year," He says with a groan, pulling away and grabbing a napkin to wipe at his damp cheeks. 

Ten looks at Mark, laughing. "He's saying he hates your scent."

Mark looks more surprised than offended but Taeyong still adds, "No! No, no, no. That's not it. It's just random smells make me sick these days. I don't hate your scent."

"Good, because I'd actually like to get a hug before your flight."

The mention of it has Taeyong looking at the time. He has less than two hours before the plane would go off. He's done too much crying but for now he's blaming it on the fact that his hormones are making him more emotional than usual. He pats his stomach, as if to tell his baby that they're okay, a habit he thinks will stay for a long time.

Mark pays for the food and together, they pile out of Tavares, the first place Johnny had introduced him to these people, and into Mark's car. As Mark pulls out of the parking lot, Taeyong stares at the diner and recalls the way Johnny's hand had felt around his, when he'd assured him that his friends would love him. 

He will miss Tavares, almost as much as he would miss Johnny.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ten was right when he said the drive to the airport would take a little while. Taeyong falls asleep not even fifteen minutes after they left Tavares and the two boys don't wake him up until they reach the airport.

He checks his phone. Still no texts from Johnny.

He's like a ghost. 

Both Ten and Mark insist to help him pull his suitcase all the way to his terminal, where they then make sure he has somewhere comfortable to sit and then Mark disappears and comes back with a bottle of water and a few packets of bread, in case Taeyong gets hungry again while he waits.

He's touched but he managed not to cry again. Ten is apologetic when he says he has to go home because he's expected to be at work early in the morning but Taeyong doesn't mind. He hugs Mark again while holding his breath and then he takes Ten in his arms and they squeeze each other, a silent and mutual understanding and sadness and everything in between. He tells Ten he wishes him the best.

Ten says they'll meet again soon.

After the couple leave, Taeyong sneaks a few seconds for a sob, hidden away in the washroom while he cradles his stomach, alone but not so alone anymore. He whispers to his baby that they'll be home soon and that uncle Doyoung and all the others will always be there to help them. 

He thought it'd feel stupid but there is something about knowing he's with child that helps him feel less lonely.

Back at his seat, Taeyong retrieves the photo strip of him and Johnny from the carnival from his pocket. It has little creases here and there now but the images are still good. Johnny looked amazing and Taeyong remembers this day like it was yesterday. He stares at the last photo at the bottom and he wonders if Johnny would ever see him go.

He had told Johnny just this morning that he could find him here. Would Johnny have made a decision to go with him? Back to Seoul where they could raise their child and live without the judgment and restrictions Chicago comes with?

Johnny isn't here, though. So that isn't happening.

He sighs, closing his eyes to calm himself down before he starts crying again. When he opens them, the first thing he notices is someone standing next to him and he looks up to find Johnny. He starts, ready to jump into his arms. 

But Johnny came empty-handed.

"Johnny..?" Taeyong stands, facing the alpha. He misses Johnny so much it's starting to hurt.

Johnny's smile doesn't reach his eyes but he opens his arms and it's all that it takes for Taeyong to wrap his own around the alpha's neck, inhaling his familiar scent and sobbing into his chest. He cries again and Johnny holds him close, squeezing him so tight as if he would lose Taeyong if he doesn't. 

When their eyes meet again, Johnny kisses him and Taeyong lets himself melt into the kiss, into Johnny's arms. The alpha licks into his mouth and he misses this feeling, misses being kissed like this, misses Johnny.

"I'm sorry, baby," Johnny whispers into his hair when they part and embrace again. "I should have been here with you. I should be going with you. I'm so sorry."

Taeyong sniffles and he pulls away to look up at Johnny. "You're going through with the wedding?"

Johnny clenches his jaw. His nod is subtle but Taeyong sees it. He frowns, staring at his feet instead of meeting Taeyong's gaze. "I can't abandon my family."

"But you'll abandon this family?" Taeyong questions and he knows it isn't fair because he hasn't even told Johnny about the baby for Johnny to think about but he's hurt and he's allowed to be hurt. 

The alpha frowns, looking genuinely confused. "Taeyong, what-"

He must look like a wreck now, with tear tracks down his cheeks, red-rimmed eyes staring at Johnny. But he doesn't care. He takes Johnny's hand and presses his large palm onto the flat of his tummy, and he says, "Your baby."

It takes a second for Johnny to register what he'd been told. His eyes widen and his features soften but Taeyong could see worry in his honey golds. "You're pregnant..? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Taeyong shrugs, using the sleeve of his sweater to dab at his cheeks as he sniffles. "I wasn't ready and then there was never a right time. But I am. We're having a baby, Johnny."

It's at this moment that Taeyong realized he never thought what Johnny's reaction could be. What should he expect from Johnny? The entire week of his rut, Johnny had talked about having children with Taeyong. Were those his rut talking? Because the frown on his face isn't what Taeyong was expecting to see, even if he hadn't expected anything.

"I'm- I'm sorry, it's a lot to process," Johnny says, clearing his throat. 

Taeyong tries to put himself in Johnny's shoes but his smile still falters. "You're not happy about it."

"What? No, no. Of course I am," Johnny quickly adds but he sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than Taeyong. "It's just- I'm in a bad place, Taeyong. I want you here with me and I want my father to have his life work not go down the drain. And I can't have both."

The answer is right there, though, and Taeyong hears it. He hears it between the lines. He nods, jaw clenched and there's anger in his chest because his baby deserves more than being one of the options. His baby should be a priority, and this is why he has stalled telling Johnny. 

Like he's known all along, Johnny's decision is final.

"Screw you, Johnny," Taeyong spits as he curls his fingers around the handle of his suitcase, pulling it away with him.

"Taeyong, wait!" Johnny tails after him but he keeps walking, keeps blinking back his tears. "Taeyong, please."

He whirls around, anger making him see red and he hates that it makes him want to cry more than anything. "Don't follow me. Don't find me. Marry Yuta and make your parents happy because that seems to be the  _ only  _ thing you care about. I'm carrying your fucking baby, Johnny, and all you had to say was that our baby isn't more important than the damn company."

Johnny tries to step closer. "Taeyong, that's not what I -" 

"Don't," Taeyong says with a sniffle, using his fingers to wipe at his cheeks. "Stop hurting me, Johnny, please. I'm going home and I'll have people there who actually care about me. I know we were strangers when we mated, I'm sorry I walked into your room instead of my own. I'm not sorry we met but I'm sorry for how we met. I hope you'll be happy with Yuta and I hope your parents will be too."

He inhales, finding it hard to breathe through his nose from all the crying, but he does step towards Johnny and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. His gaze finds the alpha's and he wills himself not to cry again, but the tears drop anyway.

"I'll always love you," He whispers into Johnny's chest, with another kiss pressed to the firm surface. He pats it before he turns away, pulling his suitcase with him.

This time, Johnny doesn't follow.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The flight to Seoul took forever. During the layover, Taeyong stayed at the airport for four hours. He napped and when his back started hurting, he spent the remaining hour walking around and getting small things to bring back home.

He refused to think about Johnny and the heated conversation they had before he took the plane. He wondered if Johnny was angry at him but remembered that he is angrier and told himself that Johnny made his bed and he's laying on it. Sadly, without Taeyong.

When he was back in the plane, the silence and loneliness dawned on him and he was glad he had gotten the window seat; it made crying into Johnny's hoodie easier. Most of the time, though, he slept and his sleep was dreamless. 

Now, with his back screaming at him to get to bed, Taeyong decides it could go another couple of hours being up. The plane landed smoothly and he should be heading straight home but instead he calls for uber and asks to be sent to his parents' final resting place. 

The cemetery is quiet and Taeyong chastises himself for thinking otherwise. He'd left the suitcase in the car and told the driver he would just be a minute. The driver is kind enough to tell him to take his time but Taeyong doesn't intend to stay for too long.

Finding his parents' graves isn't difficult; he has it memorized, since there wasn't much to do back then in the new home but to remember where his parents were sleeping. He finds the pair quickly and sits himself between his mother and father, sighing quietly.

After a moment, he speaks up. "I missed you guys. I know we haven't seen each other for years but I miss you every day. Kinda wish you were around. I think you would've been very happy to know I'm having a baby, mama. But papa would probably be angry about how things went. I think you would've given Johnny a piece of your mind and I would probably let you."

He chuckles lowly, to himself, a hand braced over his belly. He hadn't been sad about his parents for a long, long time. It feels right to be here with them now, after everything.

But if he stayed a minute longer, he thinks he might break down. 

"Well," He clears his throat and stands up, dusting his pants off as he speaks. "I shouldn't be here very long. I'll come again soon. Maybe not so soon. But I will. I miss you."

With that, Taeyong leaves them behind and climbs into the car with an apology in case he took too long. The driver smiles at him, like he's sorry Taeyong had to lose the people he'd just visited. He should be embarrassed, knowing the driver had probably seen him sit there and talk to no one. But Taeyong doesn't care anymore.

He tells the uber driver to send him to the cafe next, the one he used to frequent before he went for his vacation. There's a sudden craving for toast so once there, he pays up and sits himself on a booth with a plate of their famous toast and a cup of iced chocolate. 

He half expects Johnny to message him but he's disappointed yet again, when he checks his phone to see that only Doyoung, Yukhei and Sicheng had checked in on him. Perhaps Johnny is angry or embarrassed or he hates Taeyong now, he wouldn't know. His head is starting to hurt. 

The half-eaten toast grows cold and the ice in his drink is melting. He doesn't feel like eating anymore. He should head home and sleep and sleep and sleep. 

His apartment is only a block away but Taeyong has no energy to make the walk. Still, he doesn't want to call for Doyoung and disturb him, if he's at the office like he said he would be, so Taeyong makes the journey slowly.

It's barely noon but the sun is beating at his back. He's jet-lagged and sad and pregnant and broken hearted and the apartment building he lives in feels like miles and miles away. 

Eventually, though, he reaches the lobby and the security guard greets him. The older man tries to make small talk but Taeyong is tired and he feels guilty for only responding with one word answers. He'll make sure to make up for it once he's re-energized. 

His head is pounding once the elevator reaches the tenth floor. This close, Taeyong could feel the excitement of finally being home. How long has it been since he'd left? He's pretty sure it has been over a month. He hopes Doyoung had helped out with the fish tank and the plants he'd left behind.

Shaky fingers try to pick out the right key to his front door. He must be exhausted for his fingers to be shaking but eventually he finds the key and slots it into the hole before he turns. The moment the door opens, Taeyong is engulfed with the vanilla scent of the air freshener he keeps in his home, the freshness of his plants and the familiar scent of amber and mint.

_ Yukhei. _

He finds him on the couch in his living room, the young alpha looking up as soon as the door opens. Seeing him there, real and close and  _ present,  _ Taeyong chokes back on a sob. He's reminded of every single thing that has happened and his heart hurts like someone is stomping on it over and over.

Yukhei stands up, his smile welcoming and when he steps forward, Taeyong finds himself moving too, right into Yukhei's arms, where he presses into the alpha's chest and lets himself drown in Yukhei's strong, assuring grip. 

He inhales and it isn't Johnny's citrusy sweetness and seawater but he presses closer, closer, so Yukhei can't let him go.

And then he cries. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts, anyone? haha... im ready for what you amazing people have to say. honestly thank you for reading and following this story, ive been having so much fun writing this 🙏


	10. ten.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Johnny truly saw Taeyong was when he had knocked on the door of his own hotel room and Taeyong opened it, blond strands of hair falling over his eyes, cheeks dusted a faint pink and his round eyes gazing into Johnny's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't supposed to update again this week but i couldn't help it akdjdk. anyways i think we all needed a johnny pov!!
> 
> i also made a playlist (still updating) for this series if you'd like to check it out! it's [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0boS3EgUe6QnpbrJG8tokk?si=hTNmxpX1SB2klF-8FaGTJw)!

**Johnny's POV**

The first time Johnny saw Taeyong — no, not when he walked into his hotel room to a sight of an omega in heat. The first time Johnny _truly_ saw Taeyong was when he had knocked on the door of his own hotel room and Taeyong opened it, blond strands of hair falling over his eyes, cheeks dusted a faint pink and his round eyes gazing into Johnny's. 

He remembers thinking that things could have gone differently. He could have remembered to lock the door and Taeyong wouldn't have to stumble into his room. He could have come later, when Taeyong is sober and not begging to be knotted. All of the 'could be's and he was glad he was standing there, face to face with the most beautiful omega he has had the chance to see. 

Taeyong had been self-conscious, when his smile had faltered and he'd asked if he'd dressed up too much, put on too much makeup, sprayed too much of that fruity body mist. Johnny had preferred the natural lavender Taeyong carries, but he didn't mind the manufactured fragrance. Taeyong was always self-conscious but all Johnny could see was his beauty.

It's heartbreaking to think now, as he laid in bed alone, that he hadn't done anything to keep Taeyong with him. How easy was it for him to slip right through his fingers? He was so, so lucky. He had Taeyong. Taeyong, whose smile makes his own smile reach his eyes. Taeyong, whose laugh rings loud in Johnny's ears. Taeyong, who's kind and beautiful and the only one who had ever stolen Johnny's heart. 

How could he have been so stupid?

He knows that Taeyong, in whole, was a risk he had taken. Johnny grew up obedient; it was just how he was raised. He had never done anything against his parents' approval and all throughout his school years, Johnny hadn't failed a single subject, because disappointing his parents had become one of his biggest fears. 

They had never landed a hand on him, no. It's the way his mother's smiling face would drop whenever he did something to upset her, it's the way his father wouldn't speak to him for days until he apologized. And as a child, an only child, Johnny had hated making his mother sad and he had felt lonely when his father wouldn't play with him. 

It had probably fucked up his mentality but the hardest part is trying to grow out of the habit.

Meeting Taeyong was a near miracle; wanting to be with him taught Johnny that he can't always please his parents, but it wasn't enough to break him out of the shell that's kept him safe from their hard, disappointed eyes. 

The biggest, most difficult demand his parents had ever dropped on him was when they said he is to marry his own best friend, Yuta. His _best friend_ , Yuta, who he had grown up with side by side, who he had taken care of like the younger brother he never had, who might have been his first kiss because they were fifteen and stupid and Yuta wanted to see if he liked kissing someone who wasn't Ten. 

He was angry, when they had sat him down and told him they expected him to mate and marry Yuta. It was the first time he had wanted to say no, because he couldn't imagine spending his life with someone he doesn't want in that way. 

When he had met Yuta after their parents sat them down, Yuta was a wreck. Tavares was quiet that time of night. Mark's swollen eyes told Johnny that he had gotten up in the middle of the night just to meet them and Ten had put on a strong front, Yuta in his arms. They had all cried that night; four full grown men in a half empty diner. 

Ten was the one who suggested they go on a little trip to clear their heads. He and Yuta had gone back to Japan and Johnny decided at random; Ibiza was his stop. 

And then there was Taeyong.

Taeyong was like no other. Sure, Johnny has had multiple partners in the past. He'd helped omegas in heat and there were omegas who had been there for his rut but Taeyong was something else. It goes beyond just sex. He was mesmerizing, breathtaking, and when he had begged Johnny to put his mark on him, Johnny couldn't think of a reason not to.

Mating Taeyong was thrilling. It's Johnny breaking his habit of doing things the way his parents wanted him to, it's Johnny making a decision without letting his parents know in advance. He is twenty-five. He didn't need their permission. 

But at night, he still feared what they might think. Even with Taeyong in his arms, sleeping so soundly against his chest, Johnny wondered what his parents would say.

Bringing Taeyong home was never part of the plan. He had wanted to clear his head in Ibiza, having decided that he had no choice but to marry Yuta anyway. Had he not met Taeyong, Johnny thinks he's probably married by now. 

It occurred to him, as he'd hoped for a sliver of chance that his parents would put his happiness above anything else, that introducing Taeyong to the family would be a way to let them know that they don't need to worry about his place in the pack. He has a mate and he would do his duty as alpha to produce more for the Suh family. 

He was wrong, clearly. For the first time in a long, long time, Johnny saw the disappointment in his parents' eyes. His father spoke because the Nakamotos were there. His mother's fake smile hurt more than when she stopped smiling _._ And it's a reminder of all the times in his childhood where he'd made a mistake and upset them.

It didn't help that he found Taeyong smiling at a text from his ex after his heated argument with his parents. It's the first time Johnny had felt jealous and territorial. He had made sure to claim Taeyong that night, even if it wasn't in his room.

There's a lot he thinks he would do for Taeyong. He proved it by getting himself a lavender tattoo on his shoulder, a physical reminder of how much Taeyong means to him. It probably wasn't the best way to tell someone you care, but Taeyong had smiled and it was worth it.

Taeyong was worth it, but every time Johnny closes his eyes, he sees his parents' faces, and he's back to square one. 

Now he's lost Taeyong and nothing feels like it matters anymore.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He's like the walking dead when he wakes up, having stayed awake nearly the entire night after the exchange with Taeyong at the airport and the news he's had to take in at the last minute. He wants to be angry at Taeyong for not telling him sooner but he didn't feel he had the right to, especially after what he'd put Taeyong through.

It dawns heavy on him that he's going to be a father. Before finding out about the company's inevitable doom, he would have been elated about having a baby with Taeyong. He was ready and prepared to take on fatherhood; it had been something he dreamt about especially during his rut.

But with _Suh Corp_ at risk of bankruptcy and the only way to save it is to marry Yuta, Johnny failed to express just how _happy_ he was that Taeyong is carrying his baby. 

And now Taeyong probably hates him. 

He doesn't have the energy but Johnny still pulls himself off his bed and goes downstairs so his parents don't worry about him. It's the weekend, so he isn't surprised to see the both of them already at the dining table, enjoying their breakfast.

Johnny greets them with a smile but his mother is quick to notice the lack of enthusiasm. "What's wrong, honey? You didn't sleep well?"

"Couldn't sleep," Johnny says, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Did you two sleep well?"

"Better than we ever had the last month," His father says, placing down his coffee cup to smile at Johnny. "We're relieved you've decided to help us, John."

Johnny's shoulders sag, jaw clenching. It seems cruel that they're off their worries only after Johnny lost everything he's ever wanted. Still, he says; "I'm glad."

"Now that the little mate of yours is out of the picture, there are lesser things for us to worry about," His mother adds, unnecessarily.

He lifts his gaze, meeting his mother's, and Johnny feelings nothing but anger towards the woman who had given birth to him. "He has a name. His name is Taeyong. We're still bonded, whether you like it or not."

He had to bite his tongue from telling them Taeyong is pregnant. He couldn't find the trust in them not to do anything to harm Taeyong, with the way they'd wanted him gone from the beginning. He clenches his jaw even harder, realizing just how he'd talked back to his mother. 

"Do you see what you've become, Johnny?" She asks, red in her ears. "Ever since you met that wench-"

"Ma!" Johnny stood abruptly, banging his fists upon the table, hard enough to rattle the plates and utensils on it. "Don't talk about him like that, please. He's a person. He's my mate. And I love him. I'm in love with him. I will never love Yuta or any other person the way I love him and I've done everything you want me to. The least you could do is respect him. Respect me."

His father is glaring at him. "John."

But he's tired. He doesn't care if the old man doesn't want to speak to him. The only person he wants to talk to hates him now. Nothing else matters. "Don't. Just, please. I'm already doing everything I can to save the family. I don't want to hear a single bad word about him coming from either of you."

He doesn't give them a chance to speak as he storms away. Away from the toxicity his own parents bring him. Away from the two people who had gone out of their way in making sure their one and only son lives miserably.

If only Taeyong was here; Johnny wouldn't have the room to be sad.

  
  


* * *

  
  


When he had showered, he considered calling Yuta but it might be weird considering their situation. They did exchange a few messages, mainly just Johnny making sure Yuta is holding up okay. He can't tell if Yuta is lying when he said he is but knowing Yuta, it's best to leave him be.

He ends up driving all the way to Tavares, where he finds Mark and Ten already there, sharing a plate of waffles and ice cream, their usual breakfast. It's odd to see Ten without Yuta but he figures they can't have ended things better than he and Taeyong had. Everything just seemed fucked up.

Ten waves him over when he's spotted and he groans internally, not in the mood to be chatting with the people who must think he'd done a major fuck up. But they're his friends and he knows he can't turn them away. 

He tries to smile but it's half hearted, sitting himself next to Mark and placing his car keys on the table. He catches sight of the keychain Taeyong had won for him and grabs it to keep in his pocket. He can't look at it if he wants to keep food in his stomach. This is proving to be very unhealthy. 

He misses Taeyong. 

He also couldn't catch a whiff of Ten's scent, the omega sitting in front of him missing his natural fruity smell and Johnny could only catch Mark's rain forest and cinnamon.

"Did you use a scent blocker?" Johnny asks, genuinely confused. It isn't like Ten to be doing that. "It's that or you smell awfully like Mark."

Ten looks flustered, looking between Johnny and Mark as if there's something he wants to say but doesn't know if he should. Johnny raises a brow at him, prompting him to say something. Ten waves it off when he speaks.

"Did you go see Taeyong off last night?" Ten asks, unsurprisingly changing the subject. 

Johnny sighs, letting his head hang between his shoulders. "Yeah, I saw him. I think I fucked up."

"What happened? Did he, like, did he have anything to say to you?"

He looks up then, meeting Ten's gaze with another raised brow. He wouldn't be surprised if Ten knows more than he does; Taeyong had stayed over at the apartment for a week after all. "Did you know?"

Ten shrugs. "Depends on what you're asking about."

"That he's pregnant?"

Mark clears his throat. Johnny's surprised even Mark knows before he does but he tries not to be offended, leaning back against his seat. It's Ten that squeezes his hand. 

"You let him go, didn't you?"

Johnny feels his heart burn, a weight settling onto his chest as he clenches his jaw. He thinks he might cry, from the way his eyes are burning and vision is blurring. He swallows, blinking back tears as he runs a hand down his face. 

"God, I fucked up, Ten." He says, choking up. "He told me he's carrying my baby and all I talked about was the fucking company. I should have hugged him and kissed him and told him I'll hold his hand. Fuck."

"Hey," Mark squeezes at his shoulder. "It's not too late, man. He loves you, that's obvious. You just gotta go get him."

It's not that easy, of course. He can't just up and leave his parents, who would probably end up on the streets if the company went bankrupt. Could he live with that? Could he live knowing he'd abandoned his aging parents by themselves with no money and probably no shelter? The bankruptcy would be harsh on them; it'd be cruel to leave them behind.

"I know the situation is complicated," Ten says, looking wise and sad at the same time. "You're bonded. There is no known way to break that apart from death. He'll always be bound to you and you to him, no matter how many other omegas you mate with. He'll always be your first. If it comes to it, if you keep in contact with him, the future will still be yours."

Johnny frowns, wiping at his cheeks. "You're saying I can only be with him when my parents are dead?"

"No?" Ten looks offended, retracting his hand. "I meant that you'll have time to pick up _Suh Corp_ and make things okay again. You didn't have to lose it or Taeyong."

Johnny stares at the surface of the table, at the stains that must be impossible to clean now. Like all his problems, it's imprinted on his skin. "I don't know if Taeyong would want that. He's probably back in Seoul thinking about letting that alpha ex of him help out with the baby."

Ten sighs, looking at him like he's been let down a million times. "You take that back, John Suh. Taeyong has a lot of things going on than finding someone else. He's heartbroken. _You_ broke his heart. You have to fix it."

"I'm sorry," Johnny sighs, leaning back once again and closing his eyes. He's saying all the wrong things now and he knows Taeyong wouldn't pull that on him, even if he had all the reasons to after what Johnny had put him through. 

Mark tells him to get some food in his system, pushing the plate of now cold and soggy waffles towards Johnny. He catches a glimpse of something on Ten's neck, the juncture where his neck meets his shoulder. A mating mark, Johnny recognizes it. He parts his lips to ask but quickly decides that if Ten wanted him to know, he would tell him. 

It's not difficult to put two and two together. Ten reeking of Mark's scent, the two of them being here without Yuta or Johnny, the way Ten naturally leans towards Mark. Not knowing would be best. He already has a lot on his plate and he doesn't need to be the one telling Yuta.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He considers calling Taeyong. It's unnerving, especially after Taeyong had specifically told him not to follow him or find him. He's plagued with the thoughts that his mate hates him now, even though he knows that would be physically impossible. Taeyong couldn't hate him even if he wanted to.

Eventually, Johnny only sent a few messages he didn't expect a reply to. _'Hope you got home safe', 'How are you feeling?', 'Will you update me whenever you go for checkups?'_

It's… stupid. He still hopes Taeyong would give him the time of day. But from the way a minute stretches into five and stretches into an hour and there were no signs that Taeyong had even seen it, Johnny grows increasingly antsy. Even though he had expected this, it didn't make it hurt less. 

His parents ignore him and for the first time, he's happy about it. There isn't any energy within him to pretend he is happy with their decisions to ruin his life so it was nice that they mostly left him alone throughout the day.

He's cooped up in his room now, in the balcony where Taeyong liked to sit while waiting for him to come home. Partly because it still smells like Taeyong here. He hadn't let any of the maids change the sheets because he doesn't want to lose the last of _Taeyong_ in this room. 

But sitting like this isn't helping him feel better. It's making him feel depressed and lonely and all he does is blame himself for everything that had happened. It especially didn't help when he starts thinking about what he could have done had he stayed with Taeyong.

He could be taking care of his every need. He could be woken up at an ungodly hour in the middle of the night because Taeyong craves something as ridiculous as sushi, at four am. He could be holding Taeyong's hand when they go for regular checkups and he could be there when they first pick out tiny, baby clothes for their child. 

He'd let all of that go because he was stupid. He is so, so stupid. And now Taeyong won't even return his messages.

Johnny's close to actually throwing his phone against the wall when there's a beep, a new incoming message. It's Taeyong.

 _'I'm okay'_ and _'I will'_ sent in two separate messages. Johnny clenches his jaw. This is good, he thinks. It's good. At least Taeyong isn't leaving him on read. 

He replies; _'Can I call you?'_ and the moment Taeyong answers with a _yes,_ Johnny presses the call button. It rings once, twice, three times before Taeyong picks up.

"Hello?"

Johnny's heart skips a beat and he rises to his feet to pace the floor, nervous, Taeyong's voice sounding so close yet so, so far away.. "Hey, Taeyong. Um, is it really early there? I'm sorry if I bothered you."

"No," Taeyong says, seemingly having to raise his voice due to the sounds of laughter in the background. "I've been up for a bit, Johnny. I'm about to have breakfast. Did you need anything?"

 _Did you need anything?_ As if Johnny calling means he would need something. This is what it had come to and Johnny can't even blame Taeyong. He clears his throat, "I just- I wanted to hear your voice. I miss you."

There's a long pause and Johnny hears a male voice calling for Taeyong. His chest flares, an ugly green, but he stays quiet. Taeyong's voice is soft. "I miss you too, Johnny."

Johnny closes his eyes. He wishes he could pull Taeyong into his arms, wishes he could kiss his belly and tell him he's beautiful. Instead, he says, "Are you with someone?"

God, he hates this. He hates it so fucking much.

"I'm with my friends. Doyoung cooked us breakfast. I was having a random mango salad craving last night and we couldn't even find it anywhere here so he looked it up online. Yukhei bought some mangoes on his way home from his run and now I'm about to try Doyoung's hand at this," Taeyong chuckles before he adds, "Have you ever tried?"

Johnny clenches his jaw. He wants to be in Doyoung's place or Yukhei's or anyone that's there next to Taeyong right now. He smiles when he says, "No, I haven't. That sounds delicious though."

"God, I don't think I would actually want it if I wasn't pregnant." Taeyong says casually, "It's spicy and it's sour. Like, really spicy or really sour. I think I have a thing for sour foods now."

"Yeah?" Johnny chuckles, swallowing back the lump in his throat. "Wish I could be there to help you."

Something he said must have affected Taeyong because the omega is silent for a moment. "I don't really wanna talk about, you know, everything. I don't want to stress myself out, it's not good for the baby."

"Of course," Johnny nods, clearing his throat. "I should be heading to bed soon. I hope you'll eat well."

He could hear Taeyong's hesitant smile, "Sleep well, Johnny."

He holds the phone up to his ear even after Taeyong had hung up, eyes closed and imagining the words _'I love you'_ coming from his mate. There's only silence but Johnny recalls the last time Taeyong had said it against his chin. 

_I will always love you._

Johnny's trying to keep it close to his heart.

He must have missed the knocks on the door because his eyes only open when someone turns the doorknob. He turns to see that it's his mother, her smile back on her lips, like a woman who'd assured herself everything will be okay and in her hands is what looked like a suit.

"Heading to bed, Johnny?"

Johnny offers a smile, nodding his head. "I was about to wash up and everything. What's wrong, Ma?"

"Oh, nothing," She waves it off but she does step a little closer. "I just wanted to let you know that the Nakamotos invited us to dinner tomorrow night at their place."

Johnny's mouth forms a small 'o', gaze falling away from hers because the last thing he wants to talk about is the arrangement. Once everything is planned out, it'd be too late to change his mind and this isn't exactly an easy thing to do.

She places the suit onto the bed next to him, a black velvet jacket with crisp white shirt underneath. "Your father would like you to have this. He wore it on our wedding day."

"Tomorrow?" Johnny asks, no room to feel sentimental over an otherwise moving inheritance. He would wear it proudly if it was a wedding where he'd marry the love of his life. "Don't you think it's a bit much? It's just dinner."

His mother purses her lips. "Well, I think he would just like to see you in it. Will you please just wear it?"

Johnny nods. It's become second nature for him to. "Yeah, okay. Are we all going together?"

"That's preferable. We'll have Mr Park drive us."

"Okay, Ma," Johnny nods again, standing up to hang the suit so he doesn't create any creases on it. "I'm heading to bed. I'll see you tomorrow before we head out."

She smiles at him with a nod before she pats his cheek and kisses his forehead, having to tiptoe just to do so. And then she adds; "Love drains you, sweetheart. Sometimes it's better to be an honorable man than an adventurer. You'll be happy here. This is where you belong."

Johnny believes not a single word, but he nods anyway.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Dinner turns out to be more than just that. It's a party instead of an intimate affair between two families. Like the dinner last week when Taeyong had been undeservingly humiliated in front of Johnny's family, this time they're facing a bunch of people from Yuta's side.

He's wearing the suit his father had given him. Apparently it's enough to have the older man clap his back, as if he's done something to make him proud. The pride he should feel burns like guilt and he hates it. 

Yuta doesn't look any better. Makeup tries to cover the dark circles under his eyes and he doesn't have to try smiling because he doesn't give a shit and Johnny's always loved that about him. How he ends up here, as miserable as Johnny is, is a cruel fate. He's upset and he shows it.

Johnny wishes he had half of Yuta's bravery.

They're seated now at the dining table decorated solely for tonight. Yuta's father is at the head of the table and everyone else is listening to him like he's some kind of god. Johnny realizes this was the exact setting of what had happened last dinner, except Taeyong isn't here for them to humiliate.

He should have stood up for Taeyong. He should have spoken louder, should have been more firm. All of those 'should have's are pointless now. Taeyong is gone.

They don't immediately dive into the food. Whoever made it a rule to announce your news before anyone could eat is stupid, but the Nakamotos had an employee of theirs present a jewellery box on a damn pillow and then Johnny watches, horrified, as his mother retrieves a similar box.

This is it. This is as real as it gets. 

Yuta's jaw clenches and he doesn't meet anyone's gaze. Johnny feels as though the walls are closing in on him. It's hard to breathe and he sweats under this goddamn suit. Yuta's father says something as he flips open the box and then his own father replies, the ring he has never seen before sitting prettily in its box, made for someone who doesn't want it.

"John?" His father calls and he realizes he'd been zoning out. When he looks at the older man, the head alpha of the Suh family gestures for him to stand. "Put the ring on his finger."

He swallows and both he and Yuta stand at the same time. This is maddening. His palms are clammy and his heart is racing. This is _real_ and no longer just his worries and nightmares. He takes the ring with shaky fingers and meets Yuta halfway. 

"This is fucking bullshit," Yuta mutters under his breath loud enough for Johnny to hear, his smile that of a pleased child finally getting to speak. The audience coos; they think it's cute. Johnny feels sick. 

Yuta's own fingers are trembling when Johnny takes his hand to slip on the ring. He clenches them into a fist before he mirrors the act, slipping the ring onto Johnny's finger.

Johnny meets his gaze. "We're fucked."

Yuta smiles, his eyes sad. "Since birth, my dude. We're fucking screwed."

There are tears in Yuta's eyes but he's laughing and Johnny's laughing and there's no better way than to erase the hurt in their chests but to laugh it away.

  
  


* * *

  
  


When the guests slowly bid their goodbyes, Johnny and Yuta don't bother staying to thank them for coming. He's angry that his mother had tricked him into thinking it's just dinner instead of a fucking engagement party, but he doesn't have the energy to confront her just yet. Instead, he follows Yuta upstairs, to his room, where they used to play as children.

Johnny watches as Yuta loosens his necktie, tossing it aside before he opens the wall-size windows. He turns as if remembering that Johnny is there, and he's smiling.

"If we climb down here, they wouldn't even notice we left." Yuta says as he starts climbing over the balcony fence.

Johnny frowns, following him out. "What are we? Sixteen?"

"They treat us like we are," Yuta scoffs, successfully standing on the other side. "Don't worry. I do this all the time whenever I wanna sneak out with Ten."

"What? I'm your best friend! How did I not know this?" Johnny asks, scowling even though he mirrors Yuta. 

It's a pretty dangerous climb down, if one isn't careful. Yuta's room is all the way on the third floor and it takes a while for them to reach the ground. Yuta is an expert, finding the perfect ledge to step on, evidence that he'd done this too many times. Johnny nearly loses his footing a few times but he managed, landing not too gracefully on the ground.

"I couldn't tell you because you might snitch," Yuta smirks, breathless as he leads them away, towards the back of the house. "You're a mama's boy. If she was asking, you'd tell."

Johnny parts his lips to retort but can't find the words to say. Yuta is right anyway. Johnny's a coward. He clenches his jaw and follows Yuta through the opening behind the house, a trek into the woods and it isn't long until they reach a lake. It's clear Yuta had been here often, with how familiar he is as he finds the bench for them to sit.

He sighs when he takes a seat, only then loosening his own bowtie and letting it sit around his neck. The ring is heavy on his fingers, like it doesn't belong there. He clenches and unclenches his fist but no matter how many times he does it, it feels like a temporary fix.

"I can't do this," Yuta is the first to break the silence. "I spent so many nights thinking, convincing myself that it'll work out eventually. But every time I wake up I just can't do it. I know I can't do it. Like, I love you, man. We've been best friends since we're in fucking diapers, but I can't."

Johnny nods, solemn. "Neither can I, Yu. You know that. You know I'm in love with someone else."

"Yeah," Yuta toys with the ring on his finger, one that he eventually pulls out and places into Johnny's hand. "Give it back to your parents."

Confused, Johnny frowns at his best friend. "What do you mean? You know what's at stake, right? You can't do this to our parents, man."

Yuta clenches his jaw. He considers for a moment and then snakes something out of his pocket. It's a set of keys he places onto Johnny's palm too. "Your parents are gonna lose everything once my asshole ones decide they don't want to continue their share on _Suh Corp._ I've got a house under my name at the outskirts of town. I bought it awhile back because I was going to move in with Ten."

Johnny tries to understand what Yuta is truly saying, but all he could think about is how Ten and Mark are now probably mated and he might have to tell Yuta after all. "Yu, I think-"

"I know," Yuta nods, staring at his feet and sighing before he looks up, his eyes holding a faraway look. "They told me this morning. In person, so they didn't really have to tell me anyway. I could smell Mark on him from a mile away."

"I don't understand how that happened," Johnny shakes his head, his palm still open and the ring and key still sit on it. 

Yuta shrugs, "I can't blame Ten for being upset. I can't blame Mark for being there. I can't blame myself for something I never got control of. I guess it's no one's fault."

Johnny could almost feel Yuta's heartbreak. He could taste it on his tongue whenever he breathes in the air that Yuta exhales. He finds himself staring at the keys and the ring and feels the one on his own finger burning. Everything is all over the place. It's a mess he wishes he doesn't have to deal with.

"It's not too late for you," Yuta says after a moment, when the silence became too heavy. "I don't need the house anymore, there's no point. Leave the keys for your parents in case they need it. Give the ring back to them and go get your omega, John Suh. Don't abandon him."

Johnny looks up as Yuta speaks. He stares into Yuta's hard gaze and finds sadness in them. He swallows, heart racing. "I don't think- I don't know, Yuta. I've never gone against them. You know that. I hate it when they're disappointed in me."

"I know, Johnny," Yuta says apologetically. "But our entire lives, we've done everything they wanted us to do. I just think it's time we live it on our own terms."

The ring keeps burning his skin and no matter how much he clenches his hand into a fist, it still doesn't feel right. He clenches his jaw and takes it off his finger, to return it back to Yuta. He looks at his best friend, who's smiling at him proudly and Johnny couldn't help his own lips stretching into a grin. "What about you, Yuta?"

Yuta clicks his tongue. "Dunno, maybe steal Ten from Mark and elope. That's always been the plan. We'd always wanted to marry."

Johnny's brain to mouth filter seems to not be working because he says; "Hey, maybe you can have Mark too. He's head alpha for the Lee's."

His best friend chews on his lip, biting back a smirk. It honestly surprises Johnny to see this. Yuta shrugs, "If he'll have me."

He doesn't know if Yuta is pulling his leg but they laugh and when Yuta stands, Johnny mirrors him. They smile at each other before Johnny pulls his best friend into his arms. They melt into each other; Yuta's chin on his shoulder and his cheek pressed against the omega's hair. 

"Do you think we could have loved each other in another life?" Johnny asks, his tone playful.

Yuta laughs, "No way, man. You'd be my brother. The one I've always wanted."

Something heavy settles on Johnny's chest. "You'd be mine."

It feels too much like goodbye but Yuta is the first to pull back. He claps at Johnny's shoulder, "Go. Before it's too late. I'll come find you when I get my shit sorted out."

Johnny grins as he nods. When he steps back, Yuta tosses the ring into the lake in a single, graceful swoop. Just like that, the ring is gone and Yuta's eyes sparkled. 

Yuta will be fine, Johnny thinks. He's stronger than Johnny could ever be. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


He waits until his parents are fast asleep before he starts moving. He'd withdrawn enough money on the way back for it to last awhile and the cash would help him get a move on. He packs most of his clothes but only enough to fit a single suitcase; everything else would be a later problem. 

Right now, Johnny has to get out. He has to find Taeyong and make it up to him. He deserves this, at least. He deserves to be happy. 

The maids should be in bed too, at this time of night. Johnny makes sure to grab a piece of paper and scribble a quick note for his parents. In it, he apologizes first and foremost, for disappointing them, for abandoning them, for going against what they had planned for him. He thanks them for giving him shelter and loving him through his life and he leaves them the address Yuta had messaged him for the house he'd so graciously let Johnny's parents live in, should they need to.

On top of the note, Johnny leaves the set of keys and the ring right next to it. 

And then he leaves. 

He'd booked the earliest flight to Seoul while he was waiting for everyone in the house to tuck in for bed. When he saw that the earliest timing would be at two in the morning, Johnny did not hesitate booking the ticket.

It saddens him just a little bit that he would have to leave his convertible behind. It had been the first thing he'd bought for himself after years of saving up, not wanting his parents to get it as a gift. Though, technically, it was still their money, since he'd pocketed whatever allowance they gave him.

He'll have to come back eventually, even if it won't be to meet his parents. He isn't a Korean citizen so that would still need working on. That is, if Taeyong would take him back. There's a lot to think and work through but for now the most important part is getting Taeyong back in his arms. 

An hour before his flight, he gets an enraged Ten messaging him about planting the idea in Yuta's head about Mark mating both of them. It's all in good fun and it makes Johnny laugh. He needed it.

They call him via facetime and when he answers the call, all three of his best friends are together, smiling at him. Ten is sandwiched between Mark and Yuta and from the background, Johnny could tell they're in Mark's room.

"Will you please tell Taeyong I miss him already?" Ten is saying, "The room still smells like him, I had to leave the apartment in case I break down."

Mark scoffs, "He's being dramatic. They talk on the phone sometimes, hyung. Taeyong already knows."

"Really?" Johnny asks, a little surprised because he'd barely gotten a text back. Then again, Taeyong was never angry at Ten and they'd gotten closer in their time together anyway.

Yuta butts in, "You nervous?"

Johnny sucks his teeth. "Yeah, a little. If you see me back here, then I guess we know what happened."

"Hey, if things go to shit, you can crash at mine," Mark offers.

Ten nods, "Or mine."

"Not mine," Yuta makes a face but they all laugh.

They're quiet for a moment and Johnny feels like he should have gone to hug them but he knows he's running out of time. His flight leaves soon. "You guys gonna be okay?"

All three of them smile and he gets a nod from each. There's no doubt that they would be, whatever they decide to do with their relationship now. Johnny figures he doesn't have to worry about them when he should worry about his own situation. 

He looks up when the announcement goes off, calling for passengers of the flight to be on board. He promises the guys he'll give them a call once he lands safely and after the call ends, he considers calling Taeyong.

He doesn't but instead spends the flight over staring at Taeyong's profile picture, one of him with light pink hair and his adorable nose scrunch as he laughs. Johnny smiles at it. 

He'll be able to hold him again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do we all think about this chapter? 🤔


	11. eleven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes down to this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter... consider it a filler chap bc i think it isn't my best but it's needed to answer some questions!! one more to go!! pls also be mindful of the new tags i added.

It all comes down to this moment. 

After he'd spent nearly an hour in Yukhei's arms, sobbing embarrassingly and wishing he could disappear forever, Doyoung was next to hug him. Then they'd let him sleep for the rest of the night and half of the day after, with Doyoung occasionally peeking in to see if he was alive. He knows because every time the door cracks open, Taeyong wakes from his sleep. Pregnancy made him a light sleeper.

Eventually, all the laying down hurt his back and at two in the afternoon the day after his arrival, Taeyong decides he should get back up on his feet. Partly for fear that if he continued to sleep then he'd be stuck in a depressing loop. 

It wouldn't be good for his baby.

The first thing he does after he's had something to eat is to make a doctor's appointment. He'd stalled sitting down with his friends by unpacking his clothes and then spending some time with the fishes in his tank. But eventually, the room starts to suffocate him and the moment he steps out, Yukhei and Doyoung are on the couch while Jaehyun prepares something in the kitchen. The group would have been complete if Jungwoo and Sicheng were around.

"Hey, Taeyong. Wanna join us?" Doyoung asks as he places the remote control down on the table. He's seated on the ugly loveseat Jaehyun had gotten for him last valentine's day that Taeyong swears doesn't match his aesthetic but had gotten used to over time.

He  _ could  _ say no. He could tell them he's still tired and they'd let him stay in bed for another day, but Doyoung is smiling at him and Yukhei is patting at the empty space next to him. Even Jaehyun gestures for him to join as he takes his place next to Doyoung, his dimple smile working as a charm.

Taeyong misses his friends anyway and the conversation would come up sooner or later. He nods and sits himself next to Yukhei. His body heat has Taeyong leaning a little closer and he doesn't flinch when Yukhei wraps an arm around his shoulders, keeping him close to his side. 

"What are we watching?" Taeyong asks, his eyes catching sight of the bowl of chips and guacamole Jaehyun had prepared and he wastes no time in taking a piece and dipping it into the green paste, popping it into his mouth.

Doyoung shrugs, "Jaehyun wants to watch The Hills Have Eyes again. He's watched it, like, five times in the last month."

Taeyong makes a face, already queasy at the idea of watching something gory. "Really? I might have to sit this one out."

"Or we could watch something else?" Jaehyun offers, popping chips into his mouth. "I'll just make Doyoung watch this with me when we're alone."

"No, no," Taeyong shakes his head. "Don't let me ruin your plans. I think I might go for a walk."

He stands and Yukhei follows, "I'll go with you."

Doyoung is nodding, snuggling against his alpha. "Mm, please keep an eye out for Taeyong. And don't get home too late! It's not good for, you know, whatever."

Taeyong blinks, holding his breath at Doyoung's near accidental slip. He's nervous about telling Yukhei and Jaehyun that he's expecting, for some reason. He doesn't mind them knowing but letting them know he's about to be a parent feels nerve-wrecking.

Yukhei murmurs in agreement before he goes to grab Taeyong's coat. It's not cold out yet but Yukhei has always had a habit of carrying an extra layer whenever he goes out, to prevent history from repeating itself. It was traumatic for him, to say the least. Taeyong remembers that he was only five back then, stranded on the street with nothing but a pair of knitted gloves, to keep his hands warm in that cold winter.

Someone had found him and that was how he ended up in the home they grew up in. Taeyong's not sure if Yukhei remembers it exactly but he knows the incident stays with him. It's why Yukhei hates the cold weather.

He doesn't put the coat on Taeyong as they leave the apartment, silent for the first few minutes into the walk. Taeyong appreciates the company but he's also itching to know the story he'd missed out. He wants to ask what really happened with Jungwoo and he wants to know if Yukhei is really okay. But to do that would seem too pressing.

"I have happy news," Taeyong starts. He figures it'd be easier to start it off with something light-hearted, like his pregnancy, even though not having Johnny makes it a little less of a happy news. 

Yukhei smiles at him, kind and soft, "Yeah? What's that?"

Taeyong's smile widens as he nods and out of habit, his hand pats gently at his stomach. "I'm having a baby."

"What?!" Yukhei stops short in his place, eyes huge as he stares at Taeyong as if he'd just been told that Taeyong's growing a pair of horns in nine months. "Wait, for real??"

Taeyong beams, nodding again before he hooks a hand over Yukhei's elbow so they could continue their walk. "I found out last week and I made an appointment with a doctor for follow-ups. That should be this week."

"Congratulations, hyung," Yukhei gives his hand a squeeze, still smiling, though it doesn't reach his eyes. "I'm really happy for you. Does he know?"

The smile on Taeyong's lips falters a little but he manages to keep it on his face. "Yeah, I told him before I left."

Yukhei approaches this carefully, "And… He still let you go?"

"I wanted to go," Taeyong corrects him, "It wasn't planned so I don't expect him to come here with me. He never wanted to, I think. He wanted me to stay there."

He doesn't think he's all that mad anymore at Johnny. He's sad, sure, and it hurts that he wasn't who Johnny could choose, even with a baby, but he isn't as angry as he was at the airport. He's had a lot of rest to let it mellow out. 

"Is he going to be involved?" 

Why did he think this conversation would go lightly? He knows Yukhei is protective of him, his alpha instinct must want to sort it out with Johnny for ever causing Taeyong distress, so he doesn't blame him for all the questions he's asking. But Taeyong doesn't know any of the answers. He doesn't even know what to do next.

"I don't know," He sighs, puffing out his cheeks. "I'm still his mate so he'll probably still reach out to me. I don't know if I want him to, especially when he's married later."

Yukhei clenches his jaw, shaking his head. "That's fucked up."

Taeyong purses his lips before he gives Yukhei's elbow a squeeze. "I should have you update me on everything I've missed out. We haven't hung out in a long time, Xuxi."

The young alpha smiles, nodding again before he leads Taeyong aside. "We should sit somewhere."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yukhei buys him a cup of watermelon juice on their way to the park when his throat suddenly itches for anything watermelon flavored. He sips at it as they find a nice, quieter place in the park, not too far from the playgrounds where they can still hear children playing, but far enough that people are scarce. 

Their view isn't the prettiest, just some public exercising equipments that no one is using at the time. The breeze is good though, so Taeyong can't complain. 

He doesn't waste time in probing Yukhei to start talking. He's filled with the guilt of not making sure he kept up with Yukhei in those months that they drifted apart and while it doesn't feel like they'd separated at all, Taeyong is painfully aware of the gap between them, a border that comes in the form of months and months of events he wasn't present to witness. 

"Jungwoo and I are broken up, hyung," Yukhei finally says, getting straight to the point. "Five months ago, something happened. And it pulled him away from me."

It takes a moment for Taeyong to register this. He's surprised, because the last time he'd seen them, Yukhei and Jungwoo had been genuinely happy. That was a year ago, though.

Yukhei adds with a wince, "I guess mates could break up after all."

Taeyong wonders if that is possible but then he remembers that he is here, and Johnny is back in Chicago and he thinks he'd been wrong when he believed the bond between mates lasts for a lifetime. It pulls at his heartstrings and not in the way that makes him smile. He hurts for Yukhei too.

"What happened?" 

The alpha smiles, his eyes hollow and sad and Taeyong couldn't help but reach out, a hand curling around his nape to squeeze gently. He leans closer, hooking his chin onto Yukhei's shoulder as an act of affection before he pulls away, a smile on his lips as he lets his fingers ruffle his hair. 

It seems to work because Yukhei smiles a little brighter. "Remember, like, six months ago? I called Doyoung and he told me his scream woke you up?"

Taeyong nods, remembering it. He was annoyed to have woken up at three in the morning to Doyoung's screaming but after that he'd panicked, thinking something had happened when in truth, Doyoung had simply gotten a call from Yukhei. He wouldn't say he was still upset then but he hadn't made an effort to keep in contact. 

"What did you tell him? He wouldn't tell me anything."

"Well," Yukhei's smile is still present, meeting Taeyong's gaze. "Jungwoo got pregnant. He took, like, five of those test things and all of them came up positive. We were so happy we had to tell someone and Doyoung's always been like a brother to me so I called him. I wanted to call you but I didn't know how you'd take it."

Taeyong feels a mix of both joy and guilt; joy for the fact that Jungwoo is as blessed as he is and guilt for the fact that he wasn't there for them. It's been six months and he hadn't known a single thing. "I'm so sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to me. Where is he now? He and I could go on baby shopping together! How exciting would that be?"

Yukhei's face falls and he sighs, like he doesn't know how to say it. "Jungwoo had a miscarriage, hyung. About five months ago. He fell down in our apartment while I was at work. We both obviously didn't take it well and he was blaming himself for months. He eventually told me he doesn't- He doesn't wanna keep seeing me."

Is it possible for your heart to break for someone else? Taeyong's chest hurts learning this and it's hard to breathe. Jungwoo… His poor Jungwoo and all this time he'd been so selfish. Hearing Yukhei choking up brings tears to his eyes and he has to hold his breath as if it would stop him from crying. He takes Yukhei's hand and squeezes it. 

"We were planning to find his dad before the pregnancy," Yukhei continues. "It's just been what he wanted to do because he needed closure. But after the miscarriage, he went back to Gunpo and told me not to find him. He still updates me from time to time but the last I heard from him was two weeks ago. He told me he found someone who could help us unbond. Just like that, hyung. Just- I don't know."

Taeyong frowns, "Unbonding? I didn't know that was even possible."

"Me neither," Yukhei scoffs, looking dejected. "I read it up after I got his message. Apparently it's a myth or some story people made up. I don't know who he found or if it was even legit. I was so angry. I tried so hard to make him stay, to tell him that I'm here and I'm not going away. I'd give him space if he needed it but he just- He wants to erase what we have."

There's a pause in between as Taeyong considers asking. If he was Jungwoo, he'd want Yukhei to find him. He wants Johnny to find him, even though he'd told him not to. "Do you love him, Xuxi?"

Yukhei looks up to meet his gaze. His eyes shifted, looking away. He looks down at his fingers, as if filtering his phrase. "I think I'll always love him. I don't know if I'm in love with him. I don't think I was ever at that stage. I like him, obviously. But I was stupid, hyung. He was in love with me and I was young and stupid and I mated him thinking I felt the same way. We were happy, though. Like, I knew for sure the baby would keep us together and I would be truly in love with him eventually but now… He's just gone."

Taeyong leans back and his hand cradles his belly, still as flat as it was before everything, but he knows there's life in it. He glances over at Yukhei, sad and sorry for Jungwoo but unable to blame Yukhei for his incapability to differentiate his own emotions. Is it a flaw with most alphas? Yukhei screwed up with both Taeyong and Jungwoo, Johnny can't tell which one he thinks is worth keeping.

At least Mark is kind and puts Ten's happiness above his own and Jaehyun has always been straightforward with Doyoung, never skirting around when it comes to his feelings. 

It seems fate doesn't favor Taeyong because the two alphas seem to have no bearing around their own emotions towards him. Maybe he should just be alone.

"I can help you," Yukhei says and Taeyong knows immediately that it's his alpha instinct speaking, just like it was with Mark. "With the baby. I know you're mated and I'm mated but I can help you. If you let me."

Taeyong doesn't say anything in response. Instead he sighs and he closes his eyes as he wraps his arms around Yukhei's waist, because this is the closest to warmth he would ever get and Yukhei's arms make him feel protected, in some ways. 

"I think we just need to breathe, Xuxi," He whispers as Yukhei holds him close. "Just breathe. For now."

That is really all he can do now, isn't it? He just needs to breathe and everything else can be worked out later.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny calls him the next day. 

It's hard not to break into a smile when he sees Johnny's name on the screen and even harder not to cry when he hears Johnny's voice after he answers the call. He misses Johnny so much it seems ridiculous for it to hurt. They fall into an easy conversation and he tells the alpha he's craving for mango salad, but he might have upset him when he mentioned Yukhei going to get mangoes for him. 

_ Wish I could be there to help you,  _ Johnny says. Taeyong thinks he could have been but he doesn't say it. He doesn't want to fight again and he's trying to keep his baby healthy, so if that means not getting to talk to Johnny then he would have to make do. He should have told Johnny he loves him, though.

Yukhei tells him he would be around at night after he gets off work and Taeyong's glad because he likes the company. Both Yukhei and Doyoung keep a close eye on him, like he could stand on his feet and trip. He thought it'd start to feel suffocating but Taeyong quite likes the attention.

Doyoung had taken the day off to be with him even though Taeyong had begged him not to so now he's sitting on the couch, binge-watching Friends on Netflix  _ again _ because all the laughing makes him forget the pain and Doyoung is heating up breakfast that Taeyong asked for but couldn't finish. He can't take another spoon of mango salad.

He's staring at his phone as if it'd make Johnny call him again. It doesn't work and he looks up just in time to see Doyoung join him on the couch. He smiles, quickly leaning against the beta's side to cuddle him. He's been needing some kind of body contact lately.

"Can I ask you something, Yong?" Doyoung asks, lowering the volume of the TV, an indication that he means business.

Taeyong nods, not looking up at his best friend. "Yes."

There's a pause before Doyoung speaks. "Are you and Yukhei, like.. Is something going on between you two?"

_ No,  _ he wants to say but he's been thinking about Yukhei's offer and it doesn't mean they'd have to have anything going on for Yukhei to help him with the baby. He isn't Johnny but Johnny hasn't exactly said anything about being involved. 

"He offered to help with the baby," Taeyong says honestly, exhaling through his nose. "I think.. I might let him."

He could hear Doyoung's frown in his voice. "What about Johnny? What about Jungwoo? What happens when the baby grows up and asks why you're not married?They'd think Yukhei is their father. You know damn well parents who aren't together can't raise a child together, Yong. Not well, anyway. It'll affect them as a whole. And then what? Are you going to marry Yukhei?"

It feels almost like when he was eight and he'd cheated on a test and got caught. His mother had spent an hour lecturing him. He sighs, closing his eyes. "I don't know. My head's all over the place. Yukhei wants to help and I think I need it. Having an alpha around would be good, you know that."

"I do know that," Doyoung is quick to say. "Having  _ your  _ alpha around would be good. I know Johnny's a prick for putting you in this position and I love Yukhei, with all my heart, but I don't see how it'd help the baby in the long run. Not unless you let Yukhei mate you."

Taeyong lifts his head, pulling back to look at the beta. "He can't mate me if he isn't head alpha."

Doyoung purses his lips. "He can't mate you as long as you have a mate. He automatically became head alpha the moment he picked us as his pack, Taeyong. I think we knew this even when we were younger. He's the only alpha in our found family before Jaehyun came along."

"Right," Taeyong groans, feeling an impending headache building at his temples. 

"Johnny and Yukhei are gonna have to fight to the death to win over you," Doyoung says with a chuckle. "Literally."

It probably isn't funny but Taeyong feels his own laughter bubble up in his throat. In his head, Johnny and Yukhei are half naked, preparing for a brutal fist fight. He doesn't think about the outcome but the idea sounds so fantasy-like that Taeyong finds it hard to believe this is his life.

"I'm gonna be a single parent," Taeyong finally blurts out when he manages to control his laughter. He doesn't mean it but it doesn't sound so bad now that it's said aloud.

"I'm going to be the best fucking dad all on my own."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Fifteen minutes after Doyoung left to stay the night at Jaehyun's, Taeyong's door cracks open and Yukhei peeks in with a grin, holding up a bag of delicious smelling food that Taeyong had been craving for the entire evening through text.

He squeals and claps his hands, tossing the magazine he was looking through on the bed as he gets off it. He can't stand burgers anymore but his throat has been dying for iced tea and french fries so he'd been low key pestering Yukhei to get them on his way over. 

"You wanna eat outside, babe?" Yukhei asks and he must have missed the fact that he'd called Taeyong  _ babe,  _ a nickname he hasn't used in forever, because he looks indifferent.

Taeyong flushes but he clears his throat, "It's Taeyong hyung, Xuxi. And can we eat in here? Doyoung made some broth for Jaehyun earlier and I threw up like, three times."

Yukhei smiles sheepishly, muttering an apology as he steps into the room and closes the door behind him. Taeyong decides to let it go, opening the windows so the room won't smell like food once they're done. He half wishes he has a balcony like Johnny and Ten's rooms. He sits on the floor, against the wall, and watches as Yukhei leans against the side of the bed, taking food out of the bags.

"Got you a large, both the fries and drink. It's okay if you can't finish them," Yukhei tells him, placing the food in front of Taeyong. "I got myself tteokbokki, I hope you don't mind the smell. Or you can have some, if you want."

Taeyong beams, poking the straw into his drink to take a sip from. "Thanks, Xuxi. God, I've been such a burden, haven't I? I'd go myself but you guys wouldn't let me."

Yukhei frowns at him, "Don't say that. You're not a burden. We're happy to help you, hyung. Here, eat your food."

The omega doesn't need to be told twice, grabbing a few pieces of fries to stuff into his mouth. He doesn't say much as he eats and Yukhei doesn't bother him with small talk. He steals some of Yukhei's food and ends up finishing that too. By the time they were done, Taeyong can't slouch from how full he is, gently knocking his head with his eyes closed as if it'd help the food go down. 

Since he can't move, Yukhei helps him clean up, gathering everything into a bag and then disappearing for about ten minutes. Taeyong sits in place, thinking about whether or not any of these alphas would still want him when he's round and probably unattractive. The thought makes him sad and before he knows it, Taeyong is sobbing into his hands.

Yukhei panics when he returns, gathering Taeyong into his arms and rocking him until he calms down. Once he isn't sobbing anymore, the alpha helps him up and pulls him into bed, where Taeyong keeps him, snuggling against his side.

"Stay for a bit," He murmurs, fingers curling into the front of Yukhei's shirt, desperate for someone, anyone, to remind him he isn't alone. "I don't wanna be alone, Xuxi."

Yukhei squeezes him, "I'm here, hyung. What got you so sad?"

Taeyong laughs at this, sniffling. "Thought about how unattractive I will be when I'm all swollen with this baby and none of you would even want me then."

The alpha, however, doesn't laugh. "I would. Pretty sure Johnny would too, if he cared enough to be around."

His heart swells with fondness as he stares up at Yukhei, grateful to have him here to spew all these assurances that he wants to hear, even if they aren't true. He pats at Yukhei's chest, leaving his hand there. "You're good, Xuxi."

Yukhei smiles, his hand lifts to brush Taeyong's hair back. He smiles at the alpha, grateful and warm and soft. Yukhei says, "You're so pretty, hyung."

They stare at each other for a second and Taeyong should stop him, he should lean back when Yukhei presses his lips onto his own but instead Taeyong lets his eyes close and he lets Yukhei kiss him. It reminds him of happier times and waking up at dawn with the sun slowly rising to emphasize the gold of Yukhei's skin and sharing giggles over ice cream. It reminds him of when Yukhei used to drive all the way to his campus to spend the weekend with him after a stressful week.

He lets Yukhei kiss him and remembers when he almost fell in love with one of his best friends before he had his heart given back to him. 

He doesn't return the kiss but he doesn't stop him either.

A moment passes and then Yukhei pulls back like he's been slapped, sitting up. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Fuck."

Guilt spreads at his chest like wildfire. All he could think about is Johnny, his mate, his love, the father of his baby and then he remembers that Johnny chose to marry someone else and his guilt melts away, replaced with an ugly, all consuming jealousy and anger that almost made him do something he knows he would regret. Almost. 

Instead he lets his fingers curl around Yukhei's shirt to keep him there when the alpha makes a move to leave. His head is hurting again and his eyes and throat burn. He doesn't open them as he pulls Yukhei back, even as his tears soak into his hair. He rests his head upon Yukhei's chest and he thinks about how both Yukhei and Johnny had hurt him as he cried and he should be angry at them. He should be angry.

But instead his heart still belongs to Johnny and he wants Yukhei to stay to keep him warm and sane.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yukhei apologizes again the next morning and he promises he wouldn't repeat it, not unless Taeyong wants him to. He doesn't, no matter how many good memories it came with. He tells Yukhei that it's okay and he appreciates the apology and forgives him. He doesn't let it shift their comfort.

He's nervous about going to the clinic so he's glad that Yukhei offered to accompany him. Now, he's made to sit in the waiting room, awaiting his turn for an official checkup. He keeps staring at his phone, wishing, hoping Johnny would call him again. He doesn't even get a text.

Yukhei is gone to grab a drink for the both of them, so he's alone. His leg bounces on the ball of his foot, nervous. He'd told Johnny he would keep him updated when they'd talked on the phone call but he decides that could wait until after he's checked. The anxiety that Johnny probably doesn't want to hear from him eats him up inside. 

He snakes out the photostrip he keeps with him every second of the day and instantly he feels his nervousness calm down just a tad. He smiles at the pictures, muttering; "Curse you for looking so stupidly handsome, John Suh."

God, he misses Johnny. He misses his smile and his kisses and the way their bodies melt into each other so much that he doesn't know where he ends and Johnny begins. He misses the way Johnny holds him at night, misses Johnny's scent, misses his staccato laugh and the lines that resemble whiskers on his cheeks. He misses him so much it physically hurts.

He presses the picture to his chest, eyes up on the ceiling as if it would make the tears go away. He wishes so badly for Johnny to be here with him, to hold his hand and carry him to bed and they'd make sweet love to celebrate this blessing. Why must fate be so cruel? Why must he love someone who's supposed to love someone else?

"Here," Yukhei says, bringing Taeyong out of his emotional state. Yukhei's smile is soft and kind. "Drink, hyung."

Taeyong takes a deep breath, offering the alpha a smile to mirror his. "Thank you, Xuxi. For everything."

Yukhei waves it off, "I care about you, hyung. I'm sure Sicheng would have done the same if he was here and Doyoung hyung too if he could take the day off."

"Yeah," Taeyong nods, taking a sip of the water Yukhei had gotten for him. "I just- I'm really thankful for you guys."

Just as he finished speaking, his name is called and the same ball of anxiousness creeps back into him. He doesn't know why he's nervous but he is, even though it's just a normal check up to register him with the hospital for future followups. 

"Let's go, hyung." Yukhei prompts him. "Don't worry, I'll be outside if you don't want me to go in with you."

"No," Taeyong is quick to say, fingers curling around Yukhei's forearm. "I need someone with me. Please."

Yukhei nods and assures him with a smile. They go into the doctor's room before he's made to take a urine test. There's more waiting but it doesn't take too long before he's called inside again. The doctor, Dr Moon, has kind eyes and a warm smile and he congratulates Taeyong and Yukhei for their blessing, to which Taeyong flushes at and Yukhei laughs, explaining that he's only here as a friend, prompting Dr Moon to apologize. 

The entire procedure feels like a blur to Taeyong. It was fast and before they leave the hospital, he's given an appointment card for his next visit. He types out a quick message to Johnny, updating him on how his first visit went. 

Johnny doesn't reply. 

It's almost funny how staring at the delivered message could make him want to cry again. This pregnancy is going to be hell if his emotions are going to be all over the place.

They're quiet as they walk home. His thoughts are straying and Yukhei doesn't make small talk. He has a hand over his belly, thinking about his baby and Johnny's lack of response is making him overthink. 

He doesn't want his baby to only have one parent. He wants his baby to grow up with loving ones like he did for the first nine years of his life. He wants his baby to be able to have a good childhood, to only know happiness while everything is still easy. Losing Johnny already messes this up and Johnny isn't giving him any signs that he'll be there.

Taeyong's panicking. It's getting a little harder to breathe with all these tormenting thoughts coming down on him like a ton of bricks. He tries to inhale and exhale as they both step into the elevator but it's difficult. It's difficult and Taeyong thinks he might break down and cry right here, right now. 

It's when the elevator door opens and they step out onto his floor that he blurts it out, stopping midstep, "If I let you help me with the baby, do you promise you won't abandon us?"

Yukhei looks surprised, but then he's nodding his head. "Of course. I would never."

Taeyong inhales and he closes his eyes when he finds that he  _ can  _ breathe. He can breathe. He's okay. He leans back against the wall, feeling ridiculous for panicking and it might be horrible to depend on Yukhei but knowing he would be here makes Taeyong feels less scared. 

He takes a moment to calm down, inhaling and exhaling slowly. He takes another deep breath and that's when he catches a whiff of a familiar scent. He straightens up with a start, because there's  _ no way  _ that he's smelling this right now.

Taeyong's pretty certain he's gone delusional, going so far as imagining a fucking scent. Yukhei could probably smell it too, but he's frowning in confusion, more interested in what's gotten Taeyong's attention.

He holds up a hand, following the scent that's coming from the direction of his unit. "The scent…"

"Do you recognize it?"

Taeyong nods but he's distracted, making his way over towards his door. The scent is dizzying, that familiar citrusy sweetness and seawater and Taeyong wants to drown in it. His hand lingers at the door handle, afraid that if he opens, he might be disappointed again. But the scent is so, so strong and Taeyong would recognize it anywhere.

He opens the door and the scent engulfs him, stronger than Yukhei's was when he'd first come home. And then there  _ he  _ is, pacing the floor of Taeyong's living room, real and present and in the flesh, but it feels like a dream.

"Johnny?" Taeyong calls out but his own voice doesn't sound as real as Johnny looks, standing there in his apartment, when he should be in Chicago. 

The sound of his name gets his attention and Johnny looks up, his lips forming an immediate smile before it falters, just a tad. He looks like a dream, the sunray streaking across his face, emphasizing his honey gold eyes and he's beautiful. He's beautiful and Taeyong can't believe he's  _ here. _

"Taeyong." Johnny says. His name on Johnny's tongue feels like cotton. 

Taeyong parts his lips to speak but Yukhei's next to him and he looks angry. He's never seen Yukhei look so angry, jaw clenched and gaze fixated on Johnny. For a second, Taeyong thinks he'd be able to reach Johnny first before Yukhei could but he's stunned and frozen in place, still registering the fact that Johnny is here and because of that he's left to watch as Yukhei walks up to Johnny.

His heart is racing against his chest, his hand still curled around the door handle as the two alphas glare at each other. He has a gut-wrenching feeling that he knows what's about to go down. 

It only takes a second, then Yukhei's fist strikes across Johnny's jaw, sending the other alpha stumbling back. Taeyong watches, in horror, as Johnny steadies himself and he doesn't waste time in lunging right at Yukhei.

The bone against bone crack makes Taeyong feel sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo, thoughts? are u excited for the last chapter bc i am but im gonna miss these babies :(


	12. twelve.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny is straddling Yukhei, on the floor of Taeyong's apartment, throwing mean punches into his face, some of which the younger alpha fails to shield with his arms. He fights back, his strength an advantage as he shoves Johnny off of him and it becomes a back and forth exchange of who gets to punch who. Taeyong feels like he might faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's here... the final chapter. ive stalled this long enough but i gotta post it at some point so here we are!
> 
> the journey has been great and i never expected a lot of people would be interested in reading this but also so glad that you guys enjoy it!! thank you so much for the support and i'll get to comments soon!

Johnny is straddling Yukhei, on the floor of Taeyong's apartment, throwing mean punches into his face, some of which the younger alpha fails to shield with his arms. He fights back, his strength an advantage as he shoves Johnny off of him and it becomes a back and forth exchange of who gets to punch who. Taeyong feels like he might faint.

The commotion clearly brought Doyoung out of his room. He screams at the two alphas but warns Taeyong to stay away, in case he gets hurt. Taeyong is still in his place, shaky fingers gripping the door handle so hard his knuckles turned white.

Johnny is stronger, bigger, and he easily dominates. The living room is a mess now, couches pushed back and the rug crumpled underneath Yukhei. It's when Yukhei gets the upper hand once again that Taeyong finds his voice.

"Stop! Please!" He yells, effectively stopping Yukhei from breaking Johnny's nose and Johnny uses this chance to push the younger off. 

Doyoung helps Yukhei back up onto his feet. He's still glaring at Johnny and Taeyong's afraid they might have another go and hurt Doyoung in the process so he moves to stand between them, with little hope that he's enough to keep them off each other. 

They're both sporting nasty cuts that will bruise sooner than later. Taeyong wants to cry but his tears don't fall. Instead he turns towards Yukhei, who finally tears his gaze away from Johnny, softening up when he sees Taeyong like he just remembered Taeyong has been there all along. 

He places a hand over Yukhei's chest and hears the low, possessive growl coming from Johnny but he ignores it for now. "It's okay, Xuxi. Will you let me be alone with Johnny, please?"

Yukhei shrugs Doyoung off, jaw clenched. "But, hyung-"

"Let me talk to my  _ alpha _ , okay?"

The stress on the word alpha seems to remind Yukhei that he  _ isn't  _ Taeyong's, even if he is the alpha of the pack. He softens up and nods but a single look at Johnny prompts him to pull Taeyong into a brief hug and a kiss into his hair, though he whispers an apology only Taeyong could hear.

Doyoung is muttering something under his breath while he pulls Yukhei away. When he turns back, his eyes for Taeyong are soft but they harden when they meet Johnny's. "If you hurt our Taeyongie again, Johnny, I won't stop Yukhei."

Taeyong watches as Doyoung brings Yukhei out of the apartment and he closes the door after them, turning the lock. His heart is still beating fast but he feels calmer. When he turns to face Johnny, the alpha doesn't look like a big bad wolf anymore, just a wounded little puppy. 

He clenches his jaw, not wanting to give in to what he truly wants, and that is to fall right into Johnny's arms and let him apologize only to repeat it. Again and again. 

Johnny sighs, pushing his hair back with his fingers. "I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here."

  
  


* * *

  
  


"God, you reek of him."

Taeyong sighs. That's about the tenth time Johnny had muttered those exact same words while Taeyong nurses the cut on his lip and his cheek. They're already starting to bruise and Taeyong feels a deep sense of shame for finding it attractive. He's sick in the head, maybe. 

Instead of saying anything, Taeyong simply dabs the damp cloth onto the wound. Johnny doesn't flinch but he's scowling. They're so close Taeyong feels a little dizzy. It still feels unreal that Johnny is here, so real that Taeyong is drowned in his scent, as if he's trying to erase any trace of Yukhei ever being close to Taeyong.

"Yukhei has been nice to me, Johnny," He says finally, placing the cloth aside before he gently caresses the spot just underneath the cut. He can't help but soften, smiling at the alpha. "He's been in the apartment a lot, is all."

Johnny clenches his jaw but hisses when it probably stung his wound. He cusses. "Why do you smell like him? Did he touch you?"

Something throbs in Taeyong's temples. "Yes. Just not in the way you think, Johnny." 

_ Johnny, Johnny, Johnny _ . He can't stop saying his name.

The kiss crosses his mind and Taeyong considers not telling his alpha but keeping it would complicate things even further so with a lowered voice, he adds, "He kissed me last night."

" _ What?" _

Taeyong's heart feels like it might explode. "I didn't kiss him back. I'll be honest with you and say that he was in my bed because I needed someone and I was scared and alone and he was there. When he kissed me, I just- Please just know that I didn't kiss him back. But I'm sorry that I let him."

"I'm going to fucking kill him," Johnny spits as he stands, looking out of place in Taeyong's shared apartment, like he's considering going after Yukhei but torn between doing that and staying here, where his real problem lies. In the end, Johnny sits back down, "He did that on purpose, didn't he? Earlier, when he hugged you. Fuck him."

He can't believe it's all come down to this. Doyoung's mention of Yukhei and Johnny fighting feels like a manifestation; Taeyong's only glad neither of them are too badly wounded. He feels a little bad that he'd made Yukhei go but Johnny is his problem.

"Are you going to tell me what you're doing here, Johnny?" He asks, sounding as exhausted as he feels inside. "How did you find me?"

Johnny looks sheepish, almost embarrassed. "Ten told me your address. And I'm here for you, Taeyong. I'm here now."

Taeyong frowns, "What do you mean? I mean, I know you're here. I can't believe you're here. But why are you here?"

"I've come to fix what I fucked up," Johnny sighs, running his fingers through his hair again and Taeyong has never been so jealous of fucking fingers. God, he'd missed Johnny. "I'm here to take care of you, to be with you, to raise our baby together. I don't care where we do it, just as long as you let me be a part of your life again. I can't do it without you, baby."

He wants so badly to accept Johnny back but he's quickly reminded of the weeks he was in Chicago, humiliated in front of so many people, being made to feel small and insignificant and invisible when all he wanted was to be accepted. And remembering that Johnny let it all happen makes him angry again.

"You've hurt me, Johnny," He says quietly as he gets off the couch, afraid that Johnny's dizzying scent would make it too easy for him to forgive the alpha. "You let them hurt me."

Johnny stands too but he doesn't follow Taeyong to the window, "I know. I'm sorry. I realized everything a little too late. I know I shouldn't have let them. But I did and it's my biggest regret, Taeyong. I'm so sorry."

"I don't blame you," Taeyong says. He hates that he's choking up. "I don't blame you for how stupid I was thinking you'd sacrifise the same for me. I'm so fucking stupid, Johnny. I gave you my heart and you made me watch you trample on it. And I let you parade me around like one of your most prized possessions and let you make me believe I meant something to you. When the truth is I don't, do I? I'm no one."

"Taeyong-"

"You wouldn't have just stood there and watched when I left if you cared. You don't care. So you're here and you want me to forgive you again. What happens if I do, Johnny? You're just going to hurt me and I'm scared that I'd let you."

Johnny is silent. When Taeyong turns to look at him, he finds a sight he doesn't think he's ever seen before. Johnny has never allowed him to see this side of him, this side with the sagging shoulders and teary gaze, where he pushes his walls down and lets Taeyong in. He could tell it isn't a tactic to get Taeyong to forgive him; Johnny is simply broken. 

"A few hours before I left Chicago," Johnny starts to explain. "My mother talked me into going to dinner at Yuta's that turned out to be a fucking engagement party. They made me put a ring on him, and he on me."

Taeyong's gaze flies to Johnny's hands. No ring there.

"It was all too real for Yuta and I," Johnny continues. "He gave me back the ring and tossed the one his parents gave to me into the lake. I'll be honest with you, Taeyong, I was going to go through with it because the idea of leaving my parents behind with  _ nothing _ makes me scared. Like I can't do it to them, even though they weren't the best parents. They don't love me for me. They love me because I was good, because I listened to them and let them decide my life path. I hated it when my mom wouldn't smile when I made a mistake, I couldn't stand it when my dad would ignore me for days because I couldn't score a goal for my team practice. I was ten. And just… It isn't an excuse but changing my habit of pleasing them wasn't easy."

Taeyong's heart hurts. His pain was losing his parents too early; he didn't know that Johnny's was having parents whose love for him have always been conditioned. 

It's Taeyong who sheds a tear as he closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around Johnny's shoulders and it seems to be the only thing the alpha needs to trigger his emotions and he's crying into Taeyong's neck. 

"I'm sorry," Johnny sobs into his skin, his arms tight around Taeyong's frame, as if he's scared Taeyong would disappear. "I'm so sorry. I should have done better. I should have left with you. I love you so much, baby. So much."

Taeyong sniffles as he nods, his tears soaking into Johnny's shirt. His fingers curl around Johnny's hair, gently massaging his scalp to soothe him. "I love you too, Johnny. You know I do. Are you really here now, baby? You won't leave me?"

"No," Johnny shakes his head as he pulls away. His eyes are red from crying, the tip of his nose a faint pink. He cups Taeyong's cheeks and kisses his forehead. "I'm not leaving. I'm choosing you."

Taeyong smiles, nodding. "What about your parents? The company? What's gonna happen to them?"

"I don't know," Johnny uses the sleeve of his shirt to wipe at his cheeks and Taeyong helps brush the new trails off his face using his thumbs. "But they'll be okay. Yuta helped me."

He nods without asking anymore questions. He could ask them later, when they're calmer. For now he's just  _ happy.  _ Johnny is here. Johnny chose him. And he might be naive to choose to forgive Johnny but his heart is so full and it belongs entirely to his alpha. It is wholly, completely Johnny's.

Johnny kisses him. It's wet with their tears and Johnny is sloppy but it's  _ Johnny _ and Taeyong doesn't care about everything else. He kisses him back just as desperately, their tongues clashing, teeth clanking and Johnny licks into his mouth like they'd been separated for an eon.

He gets lost in the heat of the moment, making a small sound in his throat as Johnny backs him into his room. He doesn't even wonder how Johnny knows this is his, just wants Johnny to claim him again, to mark him again.

The door closes behind them with a click and Johnny pulls back with a scowl, "Room smells like him."

Taeyong winces. His mouth feels swollen and he wants to kiss again so all he says is, "Sorry."

Johnny seems to brush it off because his mouth finds Taeyong's again, kissing him hard and needy and desperate, while his hands work on removing Taeyong's shirt. The room may smell like Yukhei but all Taeyong could feel and smell is Johnny's lemony and seawater scent, feeding on his pheromones like he's in heat. 

Their clothes come off quickly and then Johnny is guiding him onto his back, where it meets the plush of the mattress as Johnny's mouth returns to kissing him. He's as naked as the day he was born, already wet from the kiss alone and when Johnny's cock brushes against his leaking cunt, Taeyong whimpers into Johnny's mouth. 

"I miss you," Johnny murmurs against his chin, biting along his jaw as he guides Taeyong's legs apart, never hesitating as he pushes into the omega with a loud, filthy squelch. "Fuck, I missed you, baby."

Taeyong whines, eyes shut and mouth parted as he adjusted to the size of Johnny inside him. It's only been three weeks since they'd last fucked, but it's three weeks too long. It isn't enough. Taeyong wants to be thoroughly fucked.

"Want you to fuck me," He managed to whisper, half moaning as Johnny delivers shallow thrusts into his cunt. "Please, alpha? I want you to fuck and knot me again. Please."

Johnny makes a low, growling sound in his throat, clearly challenged to make Taeyong feel good because then he pulls out, to Taeyong's dismay, only to flip him over onto his front. He is more gentle than he's ever been and Taeyong knows it's because Johnny is concerned for the well-being of his mate and their baby, but Taeyong wants  _ more.  _

"Fuck me hard, daddy," He whines, arching his back with his elbows digging into the mattress, hips up. "Please please please. I need you so bad."

He cries out when Johnny fucks into him, his monstrous cock stretching him out so deliciously Taeyong  _ leaks.  _ He's so, so wet and he's coating Johnny's shaft with his slick with each push and pull, each thrust that Johnny delivers. For a few minutes, Johnny keeps at the same, fast pace, their moans mixing together and it's the best thing Taeyong has heard. 

When he slows down, it's to pull Taeyong back by his arms so his back rests against Johnny's chest and Johnny is kissing his temple, the side of his face and along his shoulder. Johnny is dripping with affection and love, pouring it on and into Taeyong endlessly and he feels it. He feels it in his core.

“I love you,” Johnny whispers into his skin and Taeyong doesn’t mind the way his thrusts are no longer brutal, doesn’t mind that all he feels is the smooth glides of Johnny’s cock inside him. He doesn’t mind it one bit. Johnny bites into his mating mark and he says it again, each one with a thrust into Taeyong’s heat. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Johnny’s hand reaches around him, thumb brushing over his pebbled nipples and then down, to his belly, where he caresses gently before he slips two fingers between his folds and rubs at his clit furiously, leaving Taeyong a moaning, sweaty mess until he’s cumming with a sob. His release came in sharp squirts that ruin his sheets, soaking into his mattress cause there’s just  _ so  _ much. He’s shaking but Johnny doesn’t stop, not until his knot catches at his rim and he locks inside Taeyong and cums in hot spurts that fill the omega up.

As he rides out his orgasm, Taeyong lays in his own mess, breathing heavily with his eyes closed. He smiles when he opens them and Johnny is still there. Johnny is here and it isn’t a dream. There’s a whimper that leaves him when Johnny shifts them, laying on his side and spooning Taeyong within his arms, his knot still locked within Taeyong’s channel. His large hand curls around Taeyong’s jaw and he guides his face back so their lips could meet in a kiss. 

Johnny is smiling into his mouth, nosing along his cheek with a laugh that sounds like Taeyong's favorite song. He laughs and it's purely out of joy, being this close again to someone he loves, someone he'd thought he'd lost. 

It doesn't slip his mind that he'd met Johnny less than two months ago but this feels like teenage romance, filled with thrilling adventures and pain and laughter and tears and it doesn't matter that they're twenty-five, two full grown men who are supposed to know what they're doing.

Taeyong is pregnant and it wasn't planned, just like falling in love with Johnny wasn't part of the plan, just like having his heat come early wasn't part of the plan. And it's okay, Taeyong thinks. They've got each other now. 

And if Johnny pulls through with his promises, Taeyong and his baby will be okay. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Taeyong makes sure the house doesn't smell like sex before Doyoung and Yukhei return. Yukhei wanted to go home but Taeyong had Johnny promise he would talk to Yukhei in a civil manner because he doesn't think things would work out if Yukhei and Johnny don't get along. 

He understands his friends' dislike towards Johnny, their protectiveness playing a strong factor in this situation because just like Taeyong hates it when they're hurt, they harbor ill feelings towards Johnny for causing Taeyong pain. But if Johnny is going to be a part of his life, he needs them to be civil. He doesn't want to lose one to keep another.

Johnny helps put the couches back in place and straightens out the rug he and Yukhei had messed up in their brawl earlier. It's past eight when they settle down on the couch, having showered and now clean and comfortable. 

"You have a nice place," Johnny says. There's a smile on his lips as he eyes the place, as if seeing it for the first time. "It looks like your place. Does that make sense?"

Taeyong beams. His cheeks are beginning to hurt just a tad. "Thank you. We got the apartment about two years ago but Doyoung lets me decide on the decor. Do you like it?"

"Yeah," Johnny nods. He leans over to kiss Taeyong on his mouth, soft and gentle. "It feels like home."

The smile on Taeyong's lips soften and he raises a hand to brush his fingers over Johnny's cheek. The cuts have stopped bleeding but they're still red and bruising. If anything, it makes Johnny look even more handsome. He leans in and he kisses Johnny again, softly and teasingly letting his tongue swipe over Johnny's full, lower lip. 

Their moment is interrupted when the door opens and both of them turn to see Doyoung and Yukhei stepping into the house. Taeyong stands immediately, going over to see if Yukhei had his wounds patched up. Johnny probably doesn't like it but Taeyong just wants to make sure his friend is okay.

Yukhei smiles at him, a little sad, but the bruise on his cheek doesn't look too bad and the cut on his nose is tended to. He curls a hand around Taeyong's elbow, squeezing gently to say that he's okay. 

"I bought bandages and everything at the pharmacy," Doyoung is saying as he pours himself a glass of water. "You can use them if Johnny needs it."

Taeyong nods, "Thanks, Doie. And Xuxi, will you please be civil with Johnny? I promise he's trying."

Yukhei clenches his jaw and he glances over at Johnny before nodding his head. "Yeah. I'm sorry about earlier."

"I'm just glad you're okay," Taeyong pats at the side of Yukhei's neck, pulling him over to sit on Doyoung's loveseat before he goes to sit himself next to Johnny.

He guesses it's pretty obvious that he and Johnny had made up but the realization comes in a form of a pained expression on Yukhei's face. Still, he holds his stance, unsmiling and he doesn't say anything to start the conversation. 

Taeyong looks at Johnny and his alpha sighs. "Look, Yukhei, right? I'm sorry. I know why you threw that punch. I deserved it for everything I've done."

Yukhei softens, surprised that Johnny is capable of being sorry. He fiddles with his fingers for a moment, staring at his feet. Taeyong fears Yukhei might get stubborn, but he says; "I'm sorry, too. I guess I deserved them as well. I haven't been the best to Taeyong. I had the chance, I didn't take it."

Taeyong looks at Yukhei now and he thinks he would have given Yukhei the world, if Johnny never existed, if Yukhei hadn't gone and chose Jungwoo. He flashes a grateful smile at Yukhei, feeling lighter somehow.

"So," Johnny clears his throat, rubbing at his thighs. "Are we cool? I just don't want us to have bad blood, especially if we're both going to be in Taeyong's life."

"Yeah," Yukhei nods and when he stands, Johnny and Taeyong mirror him. He smiles, "You take care of him, though. We'll be cool but I'll throw another mean punch if you hurt him again."

Johnny laughs. It's pleasing to Taeyong, to see a light exchange between the two, instead of the unnecessary brawl they'd gotten in just earlier. He watches as the two talk a little bit more and he lets them have some privacy by joining Doyoung in the kitchen. 

There, Doyoung stands next to him, sighing. "Who would have known you'd have the most dramatic love life?"

Taeyong scoffs but his eyes don't look away from where Yukhei and Johnny are talking. "It's not dramatic."

"Call it what you want," Doyoung snickers, finishing up his glass of water. "But I'm glad everything is okay now?"

"There's a lot that still needs to be done," Taeyong says, finally looking away and smiling at Doyoung. "But I think we'll figure it out together this time."

"Hyung?"

Taeyong turns his head to find Yukhei approaching him. He smiles at the younger boy and lets himself be buried into his strong arms. Yukhei squeezes him and only lets go when they hear Johnny clearing his throat from behind. Yukhei's smile is smug but it's only for Taeyong to see.

"Heading home?" Taeyong asks.

Yukhei nods, "I'm exhausted. But I'm only a phone call away, okay? If you need anything, ever, don't be afraid to call me. I don't want us to be strangers again, hyung."

"We won't be," Taeyong says with a smile. "Drive safe, okay?"

With that, Yukhei nods and he bids Doyoung and Johnny goodbye before he leaves. Doyoung excuses himself, muttering something about being tired too, leaving Johnny and Taeyong alone once again.

Johnny's lips are pursed, shaking his head as he speaks, his words playful. "He doesn't know  _ when  _ to stop, does he?"

Taeyong laughs, curling his arms around the alpha's waist. "He's good, Johnny. And I think it's sexy that you didn't punch him again."

"Yeah?" Johnny chuckles, his own arms fitting around Taeyong perfectly. He presses a kiss to his forehead. "You think I'm sexy?"

The omega beams, nodding with a giggle as he rests his chin on the alpha's chest. His height allows him just enough room to press a kiss to Johnny's neck. "You still have a lot to make up to me, you know? You gonna be a man and stick around?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" Johnny murmurs, gentle fingers pushing Taeyong's silvery purple strands off his eyes. "I'm going to marry you, when you're ready, and we're going to try and be the best people to raise our baby."

Johnny has made promises before, Taeyong remembers. He's made promises he didn't keep and Taeyong should keep that in mind. He shouldn't believe him until he proves it but Taeyong is Taeyong and being in love with Johnny shouldn't be an excuse for him to be naive but he believes him.

Just like he'd believed him when Johnny told him he loves him, back when he hadn't even meant it.

Hurt him once, shame on Johnny. Hurt him twice, shame on himself, right? Taeyong will take the blame next time. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


It's nearly four in the morning when Taeyong wakes up craving for a bottle of coke and some instant ramen he'd tried once like a year ago when he'd gotten too lazy to prepare himself any food and Doyoung was on a trip with Jaehyun. 

The first thought to cross his mind is that he should wake Doyoung and ask him to accompany him to the 24/7 convenience store just across the street, before he remembers that Johnny is right next to him, sleeping.

The realization makes him smile, even with an eye still closed, because it means he wasn't dreaming. 

"Johnny?" He tries with a nudge to Johnny's arm, burying his face into the alpha's back and nearly falling back asleep. "Johnny, baby, wake up."

Johnny wakes up with a start, like Taeyong had been shaking him awake, and his hair is a mess on top of his head and even in this state, Taeyong finds him endearing. "Baby? Why? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

He's pretty sure Johnny can't properly see him so he sneaks a giggle and a kiss to Johnny's cheek. "I wanna eat something."

It takes Johnny a moment to register what Taeyong is saying at all, frowning as he struggles to keep his eyes open and Taeyong feels bad for waking him up at this time of night. Just a little, though. 

And then, as if he finally understands what Taeyong wants, Johnny grins at him like he'd won the lottery, "Cravings?"

Taeyong remembers Johnny telling him he wishes he was here, through their single phone call between him getting home and now and he thinks Johnny's smile stems from the fact that he  _ is  _ here now. He's here to get what Taeyong wants. 

So he nods, cheeks hurting and then Johnny moves like a man who hadn't just woken up at four in the morning.

  
  


* * *

  
  


By the time fall is here, Taeyong is sporting a bump that he likes to hide under Johnny's oversized hoodies. It isn't too obvious yet but he can see it in the morning when he wakes up and looks in the mirror. Some days he likes the look of it but some days his insecurity takes a toll. On those days, Johnny kisses all the bad thoughts away.

Johnny has to go back to Chicago from time to time while he works on getting citizenship, since they'd discussed permanently staying here in Seoul instead of going back to Chicago. He'd be gone for two weeks at a time and while for the first few times, Taeyong had feared he wouldn't come back, Johnny would be at the apartment just in time. 

From occasional video calls he'd had with Ten, Mark and Yuta, most of the time them together, he'd learned that the three of them are learning to work around the fact that they're building a pack, since Mark is head alpha and had mated both Ten and Yuta. Taeyong is happy for them, even if the outcome turned out to be something he hadn't expected.

Doyoung and Jaehyun are progressing well, too, having just recently reached their third year anniversary. Doyoung had finally agreed to move in with Jaehyun. Taeyong has a feeling he had stalled all this time because he didn't want to leave Taeyong alone. He appreciates that more than words can say.

His cravings had subsided as time goes by but it comes at the most random times, like now. He'd put on one of Johnny's hoodies before leaving the apartment, craving for an ice cream cone even though it's pretty chilly outside and his sinus is acting up again, leaving his nose at a constantly pinkish state no matter how warm it is. 

Johnny would be home in a day or two, so most of the time Taeyong is alone in the apartment, though Doyoung still visits daily, just to make sure Taeyong is okay. 

He's passing by the park when he spots Yukhei on one of the benches. The young alpha hasn't been a stranger in the last couple of months and he'd made sure to be present at every dinner Taeyong and Doyoung holds on Friday nights. In the few weeks that Sicheng was in town, he'd crashed at Yukhei's and they would come together. The only missing piece is Jungwoo. Taeyong tries not to think of it.

His ice cream cone is already finished and he has  _ some  _ regrets because he's feeling colder than he thought it would be. His hands are stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie as he approaches Yukhei, who must have sensed his presence because he turns to smile at Taeyong.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Taeyong breaks the silence as he takes a seat next to Yukhei, palms over his baby bump. 

Yukhei's smile widens even as he shakes his head. "Can't even begin to tell you what's going on up here. I got a call from Jungwoo this morning."

Taeyong's eyes widened, "Really? What did he say? I've tried calling him but it wouldn't go through. Did he change his number?"

"Yeah, he called from a different number," Yukhei nods, pocketing his phone. "Said he missed me and you guys."

The omega's lower lip juts out as a natural response, because he misses Jungwoo just as much. "Why won't he come home?"

"He wouldn't tell me," Yukhei sighs, staring at his fingers. "I asked him where he is so I can bring him home but he keeps dodging the question. I don't know what to do."

Taeyong mirrors his sigh, leaning back against the bench. He stares at Yukhei's knee before he places a hand over it to give an assuring squeeze. "Go and find him, Xuxi. Find him, then bring him home."

Yukhei looks up at him, looking a little afraid and a lot smaller than he physically is. He clenches his jaw and shakes his head. "What if he doesn't want me?"

"He does," Taeyong says. "He's your mate just as you're his. He would always want you, Xuxi. Go find him and bring him home to us. We're family, right? We haven't been complete since he left."

The alpha smiles at Taeyong and he stands so Taeyong does too. His arms open, "Can I get a hug?"

Taeyong beams, nodding before he curls his arms around Yukhei's waist, squeezing gently. "Good luck, Xuxi."

Yukhei squeezes him back, like he needed this hug to keep going and Taeyong wishes Yukhei would stay brave and strong and let himself be sad whenever he needs to be. Yukhei chuckles as he pulls away, "Your bump is growing, hyung. I'm excited to see a mini you."

"So am I!" Taeyong giggles. "Can't wait to stop getting morning sickness and all the damn mood swings too, honestly. Although I don't think the mood swings would completely go away once there's a baby  _ and  _ a man child I'd have to take care of."

They laugh and Taeyong thinks the sparkle in Yukhei's eyes look amazing on him. Yukhei nods then, "I better get going. I'm gonna pack up and start at Gunpo."

"Okay," Taeyong agrees with another nod. "Please keep in contact with me and Doyoung. And if you can't reach me, you have Johnny's number right?"

"Yeah," Yukhei snickers. "I have him saved as alpha douche."

"Xuxi."

Yukhei laughs, "You should see what he has me saved as."

"What's that?"

"Fucking alpha kid, literally with the word 'fucking', hyung. We brawled again but I think I won."

Taeyong rolls his eyes but he can't stop the grin on his lips. "You boys are so stupid."

"Eh," Yukhei shrugs. "As long as you love us, stupid is okay."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Taeyong goes home that day with Johnny already in the apartment, a complete surprise that has Taeyong squealing because he had expected Johnny to be home in a few days. The alpha is attempting to cook dinner for the two of them and his nose scrunches up as soon as Taeyong enters the house. 

"Gross," Johnny says playfully, even as he lets Taeyong wrap his arms around his waist from behind. "You smell like wet dog."

Taeyong laughs and he leans up to kiss Johnny's earlobe. "I think it's mint."

"Whatever," Johnny scoffs, slicing up onions in the way Taeyong has never seen onions get sliced before.

With another giggle, he unlatches himself from the alpha to lean against the counter, looking at him with wide eyes. "I missed you. You can come claim me later so I don't smell like him anymore."

This gets Johnny's attention, a sheepish smile on his lips. "Yeah? How hungry are you? Because if you're not so hungry, that sounds like a good plan. And then,  _ after,  _ we can order takeout. Or something."

Taeyong is beaming as he watches Johnny wash his hands and then trap him against the counter. He raises his hands to cup Johnny's cheeks and when they kiss, Taeyong melts into his alpha with every soft and gentle swipe of Johnny's tongue into his mouth. They smile and giggle and Taeyong squeals when Johnny carries him into bed.

They don't order takeout because Taeyong fell asleep while Johnny waited out his knot, but they did wake up at three in the morning because Taeyong woke up and got sad about the plant he forgot to water and died, like, two years ago.

Johnny never once complained.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Baby Sungchan greeted the world a month too early, to a crying Taeyong and a worried Johnny, who stayed up for three whole days while Taeyong was in labor due to complications. It was chaotic and terrifying, made just a little easier with the presence of their friends.

Taeyong hadn't been prepared because his baby was supposed to be due in May but it was mid April and his water broke while he was getting tickled to death by Johnny. The alpha half blames himself but they both know it was just time.

Mark, Ten and Yuta flew all the way from Chicago to visit. He heard Doyoung stayed with him and occasionally Jaehyun too. Sicheng canceled his schedule to be here. Even Jungwoo came home and he hugged Taeyong for five minutes without letting go, once Taeyong was well enough to be up and about. 

Yukhei held back, not any stronger than Jungwoo after their traumatizing loss, probably afraid that touching Taeyong would mean they would lose Sungchan too. But he hugged Johnny when he thought Taeyong wasn't looking and for the first time, Taeyong saw the two, strongest, most stubborn alphas he'd ever known, cry.

Sungchan has to stay in the neonatal intensive care unit, or the NICU, for another month. Taeyong is there almost every day, watching as his baby sleeps in the incubator. It's disheartening to see with the wires taped to his baby boy but he believes in his heart that Sungchan would get better soon.

Sometimes Jungwoo and Yukhei would come to see Sungchan for five to ten minutes, when it's visiting hours, and they would take turns with Doyoung and Jaehyun, Mark and Ten and Yuta and Sicheng, who have apparently become pretty good friends over the time. 

Taeyong is always there with Sungchan, even when Johnny goes home to get him clothes or out to get him food. Right now, though, the doctors had just suggested that they do skin-on-skin contact with the baby and Taeyong thinks he's going to cry because he'd waited for this moment forever.

They're gentle when handling Sungchan, the small baby in just a diaper and a cute little hat as he's put on Taeyong's chest, under his shirt so they could keep him warm. He kisses and kisses Sungchan's tiny little head and holds his hand and stays this way for nearly an hour, before it's Johnny's turn.

Johnny hides his excitement and nervousness with jokes Taeyong normally doesn't laugh at, sounding very much like the dad he is, but he takes off his shirt and handles Sungchan with the most gentle hands. His body heat keeps Sungchan warm, and the baby looks extra tiny in Johnny's arms. 

"I already know you'd make an amazing dad," Taeyong says when they're given privacy, sitting next to Johnny and resting his head on the alpha's shoulder. "He looks so comfy."

Johnny smiles, his large hand soothing over the baby's tiny head while Taeyong lets Sungchan's small hand curl around his index finger. Johnny hums, "We would both be amazing dads. And he has the best uncles. Also, like, he looks like a tiny ass potato. Baby potatoes? The fuck."

"Johnny??" Taeyong pinches at the alpha's arm. "He's your child."

Johnny laughs, his chest shaking and causing Sungchan to stir awake, his face scrunching up in that millisecond moment before a baby wails. Johnny manages to soothe him before he could cry, gently stroking at the boy's head. 

"Bet he'd look like you," Johnny murmurs after, turning his head just a little to press a kiss to Taeyong's temple. "Pretty brown eyes with, like, the biggest heart."

Taeyong smiles, kissing Sungchan's little hand. "And he'd be tall, like you, but even if he's not he'd be amazing anyway."

Johnny agrees with a nod and then they fall silent, simply watching as Sungchan sleeps on Johnny's chest. It's peaceful and it makes Taeyong more confident that their son would be able to go home sooner than later. He'd even turned Doyoung's old room into a nursery, complete with a changing bed and a whole treasure box of toys Sungchan won't be able to play until at least next winter. 

Another hour passes and they're told that Sungchan is being transferred to an infant warmer from the incubator, a good progress since he's growing healthier by the day. 

At the end of the night, they both stand over the tiny bed and watch Sungchan smile in his sleep. Taeyong sheds a tear and Johnny says; "Do you think we'd be married before our second baby?" Like it's the appropriate time to ask it.

Taeyong raises his brows, "Who said we'll have a second baby?"

Johnny frowns, "Are you saying we can control  _ not  _ getting you pregnant next time you're in heat or I'm in a rut?"

"I'm not carrying another baby." 

The alpha scoffs and he doesn't look at Taeyong when he speaks, a playful smirk tugged up at the corner of his hips as he watches Sungchan. "I'll change your mind."

"John Suh."

"What?" Johnny looks up at him, looking like he might burst out into laughter anytime soon as he pulls Taeyong away from Sungchan's warmer. "I'm gonna turn on my Suh charm and you're gonna fall for it just like you did nearly a year ago. And  _ then  _ you'll want, like, another five kids."

Taeyong rolls his eyes but he laughs and takes the seat next to Johnny, wrapping his arms around the alpha's waist and closing his eyes as Johnny kisses into his hair. He sighs, "I think you already know I'd have as many children as you want. Whatever makes daddy happy."

Johnny groans from above him,"Don't talk like that or I'm gonna have to use my alpha voice to get you to come home with me to make that second baby."

The omega slaps a hand on Johnny's chest. "Your alpha voice can't get me to leave Sungchannie."

"Alright, I tried," Johnny laughs and he squeezes Taeyong in his arms. "I love you. Thank you."

Taeyong lifts his head to smile at Johnny. "What for?"

A hand raises to brush back Taeyong's hair, his smile soft. "For everything."

A wider smile stretches at Taeyong's lips and he leans up to kiss Johnny on his mouth, one peck, two pecks, three pecks. "I love you. I should thank you too, for giving me what we have today, for giving us a chance, even though you had to lose so much for it."

Johnny kisses him again. His eyes are no longer sad like they used to be when he's up late at night thinking about his parents. All Taeyong sees is love. 

Johnny says, "You're worth everything."

And Taeyong believes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's over. it's really over. tell me what you guys think? im nervous haha... also, like, if you want a little oneshot to follow up... wait for christmas!

**Author's Note:**

> as always, find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/johnyongcas) or [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/johnyongclub)!


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